The Snapping Point
by jdiddy123
Summary: Quinn changed. Alot. Dying her hair pink, the tattoo & peircings, the drugs, dropping out of society. Alot of events led up to what happened to her, but she doesnt tell anyone, not even herself, what made it all happen, what the snapping point really was.
1. Chapter 1

** A/N-Okay, this is my 2nd fanfic on here, and I hope it's good! This chapter takes place durring summer break between the 2nd and 3rd season and in the first episode. I don't know where the idea came from, but PLEASE review to let me know if I should continue it...if you like it, REVIEW! Cause' if no one tells me they like it, I'm not putting up another chapter if no ones gonna' read it aha(: So pleaaaase review pleaaase...thanks and enjoy the story! Oh, and by the way, i'm not sure if anything bad will be in here, I just put T in case something does come up that's bad...and Quinn and Beth are the main characters, but there is going to be a lot of Santana and other characters too...okay, NOW enjoy the story! aha(:**

**Anddd...Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GLEE OR ANY CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW. Kay, NOOW enjoy(:**

_**Chapter One-Summer Break/Ep.1 **_

They all stare at me like I'm some kind of freak. They point as I walk down the hallway, I can hear their whispers as I crawl away under the bleachers. I feel their cold eyes staring me down with hatred, I can almost taste the disappointment they all feel when they see me. They don't look at the rest of the Skanks like that. They know that's how the rest of the Skanks have always been. But me? I used to be so much, to mean something to people. I was the president of the celibacy club, I had the perfect family, I went to church every Sunday, I was head cheerleader of the varsity cheer team, I was dating the most popular guy in school, I was beautiful (Not to sound conceited), I had it all, I had a wonderful voice, I could even dance almost perfectly. Until I got pregnant by my _best friend's_ ex boyfriend. We weren't really friends, we just had to make it seem that way since we were both the top cheerleaders. But after I delivered the baby, everything went back to normal. I almost won prom queen, until Kurt won it, but that was just a joke. I probably would have won if people didn't hate Kurt so much. But when things really changed, when everything went bad, is when Shelby Corcaron called me from New York. And she let me listen to my baby on the phone. The way my heart felt like it was falling out of my chest, like all the breath was being ripped from my body as my brain began to deteriorate inside me. I couldn't take it. And seeing the only piece of my child I still had, Noah Puckerman, with another girl, it just ripped me to pieces. I wanted my baby back so bad, I wanted to be able to hold her and tell her that I'm her mother, and that I'd do anything for her. I wanted that for me and I wanted it for her. She called about 2 weeks after the last day of my junior year, I'll never forget the pain that came into me with each word she said.

"Hello? Quinn?" I heard a voice say from the other side of my voice. I wanted to hang up, after all, it was 8:00 in the morning on a Saturday during summer break.

"What?" I replied, probably a little meaner than necessary.

"It's Shelby." I nearly dropped my phone. No, it couldn't be.

"R-Rachel's Mom Shelby? Beth's adoptive mom Shelby?" I stuttered as I tried to force the words out. I was definitely awake now.

"Yes. How are you?"

"Why are you calling me?" I ignored her question. Why was she doing this to me? Was she trying to make me feel bad for doing this to my child? It was working.

"Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking. About how I felt when I gave Rachel up to her dads instead of keeping her. I felt like I was abandoning my child, like I was just giving her away. I thought about how she must of felt, like her mother didn't care enough to want her. And it killed me everyday."

"Why are you reminding me of this?" I asked, barely able to keep the tears back. I knew exactly what she was saying.

"Well, I don't want you, or Beth, to feel the way I did with Rachel. I don't want Beth to be almost 17 before you even meet her. I want her to know that you didn't give her up for adoption because you didn't care about her. I want her to be able to say "my mother loves me." And believe every word of it."

"So, you want me to take her back?" I asked confused.

"No, I just want you and Noah to be able to be a part of her life. You know, come down for birthdays, talk on the phone, send presents and stuff. I'll pay for plane tickets and stuff like that."

"I don't know if I can do that. I miss her so much, and if I can only be a _part_ of her life, I'm not sure I can handle that, without my heart breaking all together. I'm sorry Shelby, why don't you call Puck and see what he thinks?"

"I understand Quinn. Sorry if I woke you. Just, listen to this real quick." And as soon as her heard the first mumble, the first word, that's when I couldn't fight the tears anymore.

"Mama, mama!" I heard a baby giggle over the phone. Tears poured down my face. She cooed over the phone, just baby babble but I still loved her more and more with each sound, but the pain in my chest grew almost to a breaking point. I couldn't even say bye. I just couldn't being myself to do it.

"I love you, Beth." It was barely a whisper. I hung up the phone and collapsed on my bed crying. I think that's where the depression started.

Brittany was the first to call me. I grew more and more detached with each ring, until finally it went to voice-mail. Santana was the next to call, probably to yell at me for ignoring Britt. I just let the phone ring. Puck called, Finn called, Kurt and Mercedes called. Mike and Tina called me. Artie and Blaine called. Even Sam called, and he had unexpectedly moved to another city the day after school ended. Each time my phone went off, I sank more and more into my own universe, ignoring reality and living in my own nightmarish fantasy of hell. I wanted the pain to stop. I thought maybe, maybe if I made how I felt a little more visible it'd go away. I chopped my hair off with a razor, trying to make my pain fall with each strand of hair. It didn't work. I colored it pink, trying to make myself different from the girl I used to be. I thought maybe if I changed me, the pain would go away. It didn't work. _What the hell_, I told myself as I walked through the tattoo shop, letting them stick needles in my ears and nose, even my bellybutton. I just wanted this pain to stop! Everywhere I turned I saw Beth looking at me with tears in her eyes thinking, _Didn't my mom love me?_ Every little girl I saw felt like needles piercing through my skin. I didn't even feel conscious as I let the guy in the tattoo shop put a tattoo of Ryan Seacrest across my lower back. I ran out of the place when he finished, just needing to get away from all the people. I felt like they were staring at me, looking into my mind, like they knew everything about me. They didn't know anything! I cried. For so many reasons. The pain I was in, the misery, the way I'd been acting, the way I became detached from all my friends, from reality. The way I feel like I'm losing my mind. I stormed through the mall, taking every shirt, every stitch of slutty clothing I could afford. I felt like if people were going to stare at me, I needed to feel like they had a reason to look at me. None of it worked. I came home, summer break half way already, and stared at myself in the mirror. Quinn Fabray didn't stare back at me. Just a girl with a far away look in her eyes, with a nose ring and cracked lips, with no makeup and short choppy pink hair showing off most of her stomach. And where her abs used to be just flat, too thin skin, from skipping meals all together. Eating just seemed like to much of a hassle, and even my skin tight clothes seemed baggy. The girl in the mirror wasn't me, it was some deranged child. The girl looking back at me looked crazy.

I thought that over time, the pain would go away. I thought maybe it was just a momentary depression. But it took over my life. It felt like being sad took all my energy. I didn't have time to eat or sleep. Just lay in my bed and stare at my ceiling in the darkness of my room. Even my mom had quit talking to me. The only thing that I still clung to from the old me was the silver cross I had hanging around my neck. I hadn't taken it off since I got it, when I was 8. That was almost 10 years ago. But finally, one night, the pain just got too much. It built up inside me to the point where I felt like I was going to explode. The text from Shelby is what sent me over the edge. It said: _Why don't you answer the phone? Do you want to talk to Beth? Noah has been calling twice a week._ That's where I snapped. _Of course I want to talk to her! Noah has more strength than me! One phone call and I can barely function. How do you expect me to live if I call twice a week?_ I ripped the cross off my neck and threw it at the wall. I kicked my bed, and punched my desk, emptying drawers and tossing things around my room. My mom knew better than to come in while I was like this. And that's when something shiny and silver caught my eye. Something shiny, silver, and _sharp._ The razor I used to chop my hair off with. I didn't even think before I slid it into my wrist, making jagged cuts up and down my arm. I needed the pain to wash out with the blood. It was crawling through my brain like a disease. I needed it to go away before I lost my mind completely. I dropped the bloody razor, as the red liquid dripped down my hands, staining my carpet. I just stared at the cuts on my wrists, surprised at how that's the only thing that momentarily distracted me from the psychological damage I was putting myself through. But it only lasted seconds before the pain was back, and I felt like someone was constantly in my head, screaming foul things at me. I didn't want to admit it, but sometimes, when I was home by myself, I'd scream back at the voices in my head. They never stopped though. That's when I knew I was going insane. But I couldn't help it. The cuts on my wrists faded to scars, but the thrill, the adrenaline and the distraction I got from it. That was too addicting to resist. I found the razor and repeatedly slit my wrist till I couldn't stand it anymore.

About 2 weeks before school started is when the drugs started. I was walking down the street, staring at the pavement, thinking about the sick way my mind had been working the past few months. I knew everything I was doing was wrong. It just seemed like I couldn't resist. I noticed him when I took a shortcut through an alley behind one of the stores. He was sitting in the corner, and something about him just creeped me out.

"Who are you?" I asked in a monotone voice. It scratched my throat to talk for the first time in what felt like weeks.

"I work for the chronic lady. Ever heard of him?" _The chronic lady? Why does that sound familiar? Sandy! He's a drug dealer!_ I remembered finding out from the football players that Coach Tenaka was getting drugs from the chronic lady.

"Yeah. Sandy Ryerson. How much?"

"Depends how much of this you want!" He laughed, slurring his words.

"How much can I get with 50 bucks?" I asked, knowing with all my heart that I shouldn't be doing this, but I didn't seem to be in control.

"Not much...but your so pretty. Give me kiss and I'll give you all I have." He smiled at me wickedly, showing his yellow teeth. The way he slurred his words, he was obviously high. I smiled, leaning down until our faces were inches apart. I grabbed every pack of every different drug he had out showing me, and stuffed them down my shirt, quietly backing away while the guy had his eyes closed waiting for a kiss. I took off running down the alley until I got back on the main road. The guilt inside me was eating me alive. I took the pills first when I got home. Just 2, but I felt the affects immediately. So far, this is what hid the pain the best. Even if it did feel worse once the high wore off. I couldn't take the pain anymore, the insanity. By the time school started, I could barely function without the drugs.

Before school, I snuck under the bleachers, anxious for at least one cigarette before school, to keep me going through 1st period. But I noticed there were already some girls under there. I almost tried out one of Santana's many threats to make them leave, before the biggest one said,

"Welcome to the Skanks." And just like that, I got my cigarette and some new friends. Even though I still felt like I was being tormented every time I closed my eyes, or let my mind wander. Every time I envisioned Beth's face, It was like a fresh wave of torture taking over my mind and making me feel to much pain to comprehend what was going on. I just wanted it to go away. More than anything, I wanted this pain to go away. This was all Shelby's fault. No, it was my fault for giving the baby up. No, it was _Pucks fault for getting me pregnant._ I wouldn't be like this if it weren't for him! I'd make him feel like I did, or at least regret doing this to me. I thought I was over it all, last year I thought I moved on from it all, but just that one call from Shelby made me go back into the deep depths of depression I was in the first few weeks after giving up my baby. My friends pulled me out of that, it didn't go far, I just felt sad all the time, but this? This was worse. No one could make me feel any different than I felt. I felt sick thinking about this so much. Just imagining Pucks face, talking to _my_ little girl, laughing with Shelby, it made me feel like my stomach was twisting itself into knots. I couldn't decide if it was anger or guilt, if it was pain or sadness. I didn't know how I felt exactly, I just knew that I was spiraling down deeper and deeper until I almost wasn't me anymore. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I should feel guilty for ditching Glee Club. They were all there for me when no one else was, and now they would be 3 people short. Sam moved, everyone knew Lauren dumped Puck, and now with me gone, there just weren't enough people for them to even compete in sectionals. And now, Sue would hate my guts for leaving Santana to be head cheerio. I knew what I was doing was wrong on every level, but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to feel bad for them. Welcome to the life of teenage drug addict.

I strutted down the hallway, letting everyone take a look at me for the first time. _Senior year, and I've finally found myself._ I tried to convince myself that that was the reason for all of this. _I'm not sure what the tipping point was, dying my hair, the nose ring, my ironic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest. _I tried to tell myself I didn't know why I was doing all this. I had to make myself believe it. It hurt less. _But one thing I know, I'm never going back. _After letting everyone get a good look at me, to make sure that they all knew what this meant, to make sure they didn't try and get me to show up for Glee rehearsal or Cheerios practice, and I headed back outside to find Santana. I had to talk to her, make her know that nothing she could say would get me to go back to being me, because I knew she'd be the one to push the hardest. As much as we fought and tried to ruin each others life, she was the closest thing I had to a best friend. Or at least, before I met the Skanks.

"Quinn, look. This is our senior year." She started, as I approached her behind the fence of the football field. "And frankly, being on the cheerios isn't the same without you..." _Was it just me, or was she being nicer than she usually would?_ Santana didn't do talking, she liked threatening.

"You guys are such suckers for going back to coach Sylvester." I began, addressing her and Britt.

"Ha, Come on." She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Screw her! This is for us. We could win two national championships this year. We join the cheerios together, we join Glee Club together, we all slept with Puckerman the same year. We're like besties for life." She tried to reason with me. _What was she even doing? Normally by now Santana would be threatening to go all Lima Heights on me. _

"Yeah, come on Quinn!" Brittany whined, and somewhere inside me it hurt to see Britt upset. She was ALWAYS in a good mood. "We used to be like the 3 musketeers, and now Santana and I are like almond joy, and your like a jolly rancher that fell in the ash tray." I had to fight back a laugh to keep my image straight. Brittany had the craziest way of viewing the world.

"You guys never understood the pressure I was under. It sucked. I'm not interested in boys, or makeup, or little polyester outfits." I spit the last word, starting to get annoyed, just waiting for Santana to start yelling at me and stopping trying to reason with me. I wondered if maybe she did really care about me at some point. But I ruled that out when I remembered this was _Santana._ She doesn't have feelings...unless she's drunk. But then she's just emotional and hormonal and god knows what else.

"Look, I've got a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide with your name on it in my locker. " Santana tried again. I laughed, scratching my head.

"Come on Quinn!" She smiled and shrugged. "You can't break up the unholy trinity."

I remembered using that name from the time we first met: her and Britt and I. We were _so_ different, yet always best friends, even though we always tried to ruin each others life. We'd always been the unholy trinity. Since middle school when I moved here.

"Sometimes people grow apart, deal with it." I said casually, even though each word hurt me more and more. "I've got new friends now. And they accept me for who I am." I turned around and walked away, to my _new friends._ You know, the ones who I met this morning and didn't even know what their names were. I could feel their eyes on me as I left. I could feel Brittany's frown, and feel Santana's disappointed look long after I'd made it back to the hallway.

_We call ourselves the Skanks. _They introduced themselves to me, and appointed me their leader.

"I'm Sheila."

"I'm Ronnie."

"They call me the mack because I like to make out with truckers at the rest stop. It's kind of a double meaning thing."

Sheila said, "I once ate cat poo." I didn't know where the random comment came from, but I just nodded as I watched Ronnie take out a lighter and light my cigarette for me.

"Hey Quinn?" I heard a familiar voice from behind me. I didn't want to believe it. Of all the people in that club, _SHE_ was the one to come look for me? She was the only one who I was ever really _mean_ to, but she still came to look for me? I turned around with a blank expression, and found myself facing Rachel Berry.

"Hello...Skanks." She tried to be polite.

"You're friend stinks of soap Quinn." Ronnie told me.

Rachel started talking, what she does best.

"We weren't friends once, okay, maybe when you cut off all your hair last year and thought it would solve all your problems I should have spoken up, maybe when you dropped out of society this summer and started dating that 40 year old skate boarder I should have said-" I cut her off.

"I'm not coming back to you. "

"We need you." She took a step closer to me.

"Oo-o-okay," She stuttered, "have you seen those purple pianos around school? We're planning this big, you know, recruiting number, and it's going to be a tribute to the go-gos. I mean, Who doesn't love the go-gos?" I could tell she was nervous and desperate as she stuttered her words. Rachel Berry was NEVER at a loss for words, and she could say almost anything 1000000 miles a minute. Something was up with her too.

"I prefer the bangles..." Sheila stated.

"Okay, we need your, your tremulous alto, and your blend of carlisle glamor." Rachel told me.

"I'll give you 10 bucks if you let me beat her up for you..." 'the mack' told me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry you're so sad Quinn. And, maybe your not going to believe me since we were never really close, but I'm sad not seeing you in the choir room. And we've all been through so much together, were a family! And this is our year to get it right. We would _love_ to have you back in the Glee Club. Whenever you're ready. Okay?" Rachel finished. I pushed tears down my throat, but couldn't keep the desperate expression off of my face as I flicked my cigarette to keep my hands busy. I missed them all _so_ much, but like I told Santana. I'm never going back. I watched her go with so much pain in my eyes I could barely stand it.

"Who's she?" Sheila asked me.

"Some loser." I said, regretting the words before I even said them. We're all losers. But I couldn't help it. I took another breath of smoke, and had to fight back a cough as I felt the smoke rise through my lungs. Ronnie shrugged, and started questioning me about that 40 year old skater I dated over the summer.

"Uh...He was a skate boarder. In his 40's..." I started, trying to remember him in detail.

"I think he had long black hair, maybe brown. Umm...dark eyes, I don't know exactly what color..." Honestly, I didn't even remember his name. I just remembered being really high one day, more than usual, and bringing an old guy back home. The relationship only lasted a few days. He dumped me after I refused to sleep with him. As much as I changed, I still didn't want sex yet. I lost my virginity as a mistake, I wanted my 2nd time to at least be with someone special. I didn't tell anyone that, though. I just pretended that I didn't care, like I didn't have feelings. Even though on the inside I was being slowly torn to shreds.

"Is he single now?" 'The mack' asked me.

"I don't know...probably."

"Do you still have his number?"

I shook my head no, and she sighed. The day was mostly a blur, I remembered hearing a few of the cheerios talking about their captains. _Santana and Becky? _ I understood Becky getting it, Sue had a soft spot for disabled children, and Becky was a surprisingly good cheerleader for being handicapped. But Santana_?_ I mean, yeah, she was a GREAT cheerleader, just as good as me for the most part, but after her boob job, Sue couldn't stand her. She even went as far as coming up with nicknames for her. Like Tweedle McFake Boobs...Or Boobs McGee, even sandbags. She didn't go 1 hour without criticizing Santana's boobs back when I was still a cheerio. She even had her on the bottom of the period, so she could _cushion everyone's fall with her exploding sandbags._ And once, Sue referred to her boobs as 'unripened chest fruit.' Sue hated Santana because of her boob job, but I guess winning nationals was too important for her to let anything, even Santana's fake boobs, to get in her way. I knew what was coming, and so much of me wanted to warn Santana to not listen to Sue, but I knew I couldn't let myself care. So I pushed the thought aside as I alone, trying to think of anything but Beth.

I noticed something was going to happen at lunch as soon as I saw Rachel talking to the other Glee Kids, and the majority of them shaking their heads. I wanted to get out of there before they reminded me of everything I was missing out on. I didn't want them to sing something, and have me have to sit and watch knowing I _can't_ be up there with them.

I knew I was right when the band started playing a song I recognized and had to force myself to not sing along to.

_See the people, walking down the street. Fall in line just watching all their feet. They don't know where __they wanna go, but they're walking in time!_ Rachel sang. The rest of the club joined in,

_They got the beat, they got the beat, yeah, they got the beat! _Santana smiled as she started singing the next part. I noticed in the back of my mind how much more self confident Santana had gotten since glee. She sings solos a lot now..._ See the kids just getting out of school, they can't wait to hang out and be cool, hang around around till' quarter after twelve, that's where they fall in line! _

Everyone sang, _Kids got the beat they got the beat they got the beat! Yeah! Kids got the beat!_

They all looked like they were having so much fun as they danced along with the guitar player as he took his solo. _Go-go music really makes us dance do the pony puts us in a trance do watusi just give us a chance, that's when we fall in line!_ Brittany sang.

_We got the beat, we got the beat, we got the beat, yeah! We got the beat! _Everybody sang out.

They all looked so happy, even though they knew everyone in the cafeteria was talking bad about them.

_Everybody, get on your feet! We know you can dance to the beat! Jumpin' get down round and round __and round! _Santana and Rachel finished the song. Becky was the one that started it, but it didn't take long for everyone else to join in.

"FOOD FIGHT!" I heard someone shout, but I couldn't tell who. I made my way out of the cafeteria, unnoticed by anyone as I shuffled out, not wanting to get covered in the disgusting food the lunch lady was determined on feeding us. Despite how badly everything ended, I thought they did a really good job with that song. I'd never admit it to anyone though. If they asked, I'd just say I wasn't at lunch, I was under the bleachers. They'd believe me, even if it wasn't true.

I was walking down the hallway, just looking for somewhere to go, when I heard screeching from the choir room. _What? Were they killing a cat or something?_ It sounded like an injured animal was trying to sing...I couldn't make out what the noise was until I looked through the door and saw for myself. It was Sugar Motta, trying to _sing._ It sounded more like a wounded creature crying out in pain. I couldn't even figure out what song she was trying to sing! I laughed to myself as I headed to the bathroom. It brought back a memory of when Santana and I still pretended to be friends. It was the first time I ditched class, sophmore year, and we spent the entire hour and a half in the bathroom talking with Brittany about who knows what. We all laughed, and made fun of Rachel Berry. This was before Glee Club, when Finn and I had only been dating about 2 months. Santana rolled her eyes as I started talking about him.

_"What?" I'd asked her. "Haven't you ever been in love with a guy before, Santana? What about Puckerman, you guys have been together almost a month."_

_ "Dating doesn't mean love. Sex doesn't mean dating. It's just a fucking label, Q. That's all people care about in this school." It was all she had said, before anxiously changing the subject. I'd just stared at her, confused._

_ "So, what's it like being the HBIC?" Santana has asked me._

_ "It's great. They part like the red sea when I walk down the hallway. I feel like I'm the queen or something."_

_ "Lucky you..." She had said, a little jealously. _

_ "I may be the one in charge but you could out-bitch me any day." I laughed to her. She just smiled,_

_ "Damn straight. You know I could." We all just laughed together, talking and commenting on Brittany's random comments. I missed those days._

I never understood how much things change, or why things have to be so different. It didn't make any sense to me. It'd been a while since I actually tried to sing anything, but I missed the feeling in my throat. I felt like I was alone, and so I slowly opened my mouth and started singing for the first time since school ended last year. I kept it soft, I didn't want anyone to hear me. But the words vibrating off my throat? It felt like just for a moment, everything was back to normal.

"_Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you... Do you ever wanna' run away, do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming! No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like, to be like me. To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down, and no __one's there to save you! No you don't know what it's like... Welcome to my life. Do you wanna' be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out, are you desperate to find something more, before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate, are you sick of everyone around, with their big fake smiles and stupid lies, while deep inside your bleeding! No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like, to be like me! To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge, of breaking down and no ones there to save you... No you don't know what it's like, welcome to my life! No one ever lied straight to your face, no one ever stabbed you in the back, you might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna' be okay! Everybody always gave you what you wanted, never had to work it was always there, you don't know what it's like...what it's like... To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark! To be kicked, when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge, of breaking down and no one's there to save you...No you don't know what it's like...to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on __the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you! No you don't know what it's like...Welcome to my life. ...welcome to my life...welcome to my life..." _

Wow. That was oddly weird. My voice didn't sound to great with the song, especially since a guy originally sings it, but the words fit how I felt so perfectly. I couldn't help but breaking down and crying before I finished singing it. My heart fell 20 feet out my chest when I heard the toilet flush. It dropped another hundred when I saw the uniform. I felt like dying when I recognized that it was Santana. She just stared at me.

"At least I know you're still Quinn." Was all she said.

"Whatever." I said, dropping my cigarette, trying desperately to act like I just _didn't care._ I didn't know what else to say. I tried to just walk out of the bathroom, but I heard Santana call my name.

"Q! I need your help."

I spun around, "Why would I help you?" My eyes narrowed at her.

"If you don't, I'll tell everyone you were singing in the bathroom about how much you hate your life. Which your luckier than _some of us _anyways." She said it like she was implying herself.

"How are you possibly luckier than me? You're the one that's head cheerio, hottest and most popular girl in school, your parents are still together and they absolutely love you, you could get _any_ guy in this school you want, your in Glee Club and have real _friends_ even when you treat them like shit, they're still there for you. What could_ possibly_ be wrong in your life?" I rambled on to her. She stared at me. I thought I stumped her, when she opened her mouth, sounding like the Santana I know.

"_What the hell Q?_ You think I'm head cheerio cause Sue likes me? She always liked you better, and you were a way better leader! The only reason I'm the cheer captain is 'cause you left! Yeah I'm hot, but where is that going to get me in life? Maybe Berry's right, maybe the only job I'll ever have is dancing on a pole. I mean, what college is going to want me cause' I'm popular? My parents hate me. That hate who I am, and they'll hate me even more if I tell them-" She cut herself off, but covered it pretty easily. _What was she going to say?_

"The guys in this school don't even like me, they just want me for sex which is sure a self esteem booster." She said sarcastically.

"You could be in Glee Club too! You were until you started doing all this stupid shit, Q!The kids in Glee can't stand me, they've always liked you and Britt better than me, I can't help that I'm a bitch. There's a lot wrong in my life Q. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, I'm just trying to tell you that we all have problems, we all have a hard life. You were always the tough one out of us, out of me you and Britt. Yet _you're_ the one that goes all old-guy-sex-loving-drug-addict-loser? Everyone thought I'd be the one that started dating 40 year olds and got hooked on drugs. Yet, I seem to be the strong one now. Compare what your going through to what I'm going through? Trust me, I feel worse. Yet I still seem to fucking deal with it better than you! And I'm horrible with coping! If it weren't for me having to stay strong so Britt doesn't lose _both _her best friends, I'd probably break down too. Just, be happy for what you have and get over what you don't have!"

I didn't even know where all of this came from. She just told me more about her in the past minute than she had the other 6 years I'd known her.

"You don't know what's going on with me. Don't act like you do." I said, unsure of how to respond to everything she said to me.

"I know you used to hate me, but you always came back, pretending to be my friend which means somewhere deep down you care. I know you've changed since you had Beth, and you probably miss her. I know it hurts you seeing Puck with other girls, even if you are over him, he's the father of your child. I know you miss Glee, and I know your feeling real pain but you're dealing with it with drugs and that type shit instead of fucking talking about it to your _friends_." She told me, really serious.

"I've always hated you Santana. We weren't friends. I never liked Puck in the first place, so there was nothing to get over, I hate Glee. it's dumb, who wants to _sing and_ _dance_ all day? I'm on drugs cause' I wanna be, not cause I'm in pain." I lied about every bit of it.

"What ever Q. I'm not at stupid as I look. I know somethings up with you. This isn't who you are..."

"You don't know anything!" I yelled at her, really trying hard to not think of Beth, ever since Santana brought her up.

"Whatever. Listen, you're going to do something for me."

"No I'm not. I'm leaving." I almost pushed her out of my way, but she knocked my hands away and glared at me.

"Don't make me go all Lima Heights on your ass like I did last year Q. You know better than that. Your going to do this, you say you hate Glee? Prove it. Help me out, and no one finds out about this. I won't tell anyone, not even Britts, that I ran into you in the bathroom. Nothing. Got it?"

"Fine." I mumbled, just anxious to get out of the bathroom. I nodded as she left, determined to do this. What she told me seemed a little mean, but wait. I hated Glee Club. I had to do this. It'll help. When I finally regained composure, I walked back out of the bathroom. I went under the bleachers, to get one more cigarette in, before I had to do what Santana asked me to. I didn't know why she looked so upset about it. And as she told me, it sounded like it was painful for her to get out. Why should it bother her? I just didn't get what the big deal was. I finished smoking and went back outside, following the sound of music. _Not much longer now_ I told myself. _Blaine? What was he doing here? Isn't he a warbler?_ I asked myself, as I took a seat under something shady, to give the impression that I didn't care what was going on. He sang a song with some of the cheerios, dancing a little while Kurt stared at him with lovesick puppy dog eyes.

_"Its not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to have fun with anyone. But when I see you hanging out with anyone, It's not unusual to see me cry, Oh I wanna die! It's not unusual to go out anytime." _

Santana joined in dancing with him. She looked like she was really into it, but that's only if you didn't know what was going on.

"_But when I see you out and about it's such a crime. If you should ever want to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual it happens every day no matter what you say, you find it happens all the time. Love will never do what you want it to, why can't this crazy love me mine? It's not unusual to me mad with anyone. It's not unusual to be sad with anyone. But if I ever find that you've changed at anytime, it's not unusual to find out that I'm in love with you..whoa- oh oh oh oh."_

It ended in a fire. Literally. I did what Santana asked. I threw my still-lit cigarette onto the piano, which the cheerios inconspicuously drenched in oil, and it erupted in flames. I took a look at all their faces one time before turning around. Rachel and Kurt looked devastated. Blaine and Finn and Brittany just looked confused. Tina and Mike and Mercedes looked a little upset. Puck looked angry, like he knew exactly what happened. And Santana just looked plain guilty. I could tell she was trying to hide it, but there was no mistaking the look in her eyes. She looked guilty and full of regret. She didn't even take her eyes off the piano. I spun around and left, heading to find a spot outside the choir room where I could stay without being noticed but still hear what Mr. Schue had to say about it all. What? I was curious. It's not like I cared. I heard them all shuffle back into the choir room, dragging their feet. _Ugh. Did Santana really need to have her skirt pulled up that high? It was showing off more than her legs, that's for sure. _I said to myself as I walked out from the shadows to listen from the doorway. Seconds ticked by, but he didn't say anything regarding the piano incident. Eventually, I got bored and went home, enjoying a video on you-tube of Mr. Schue glitter bombing Sue. I never thought he'd actually have the guts! I went back to spying on Glee club the next day, peering through the door.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's hear it for Glee Clubs newest member, Blaine Anderson." Mr. Schue said with a smile.

"Thanks so much everyone, I'm so thrilled to be here! It's gonna' be a great year, I can feel it. We're all gonna' go to nationals." Blaine said with a cheesy smile. Everyone clapped for him, or at least all the girls clapped.

"Is there a problem guys?" Mr. Schue asked them, confused.

"I just want Blaine to know that we're not the Warblers. You know, we're not into like the bells and whistles or the ball hogging." He said the last part with a little attitude. I almost laughed. Him and Rachel got almost every solo! Rachel's the biggest _ball hog_ of them all.

"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" Blaine asked, with the same confused tone as Mr. Schue.

"Well yeah. You set a bonfire in our courtyard." Was Finn really _that_ stupid? Did he not see me throw the cigarette? Or think to blame Santana? Blaine was just as confused as everyone else.

"Actually, that was an act of political protest." Santana jumped in. I could feel the tension rise as she spoke.

"Which leads me to the next order of business. Santana, you need to leave. It was you and the cheerios who set the fire towards our piano. How could you do that?" He said it with such bitterness you would've thought she burned his house down or something.

"Mr. Schue, Sue made me do it!" She laughed awkwardly, like that made everything better.

"Brittany didn't do it." He reasoned.

"Well yeah I was gonna' help, but you know, I'm a water sign, so." Brittany said like it made perfect sense.

"Your banned from Glee." Mr Schue turned back towards Santana.

"Don't come back unless you can be as loyal to this club as the rest of the people in this room." He pointed to the door. I hurried up and ran back over to the shadows by the locker, hoping Santana would be too upset when she left to notice me.

"You know what? I could use a break." She tried to sound tough, but even from out here I could hear voice cracking. I heard the breathing before she left the room, and recognized a sound I'd known forever before she even made it down the hallway. Santana didn't cry much, but when she did, the sound was unforgettable. I almost wanted to chase after her but I knew I couldn't do that. I'd just have to settle on hating Mr. Schue for a while instead. He lost one of his best singers. Now they'd never win nationals. Not that I cared, I reminded myself.

"You know, good for you Mr. Schue." I heard Mercedes say. _Good for him? Was she crazy? It's not Santana's fault Sue made her find a way to torch the piano! _Part of me felt guilty, since I knew I had something to do with that.

"It's about time we got some allegiance up in here." I felt like they were betraying her as the majority of the kids nodded their heads in agreement. Except Britt. Even from this distance I could tell how hurt she looked.

"I said it before and I will say it again. If we want to win nationals this year, we need to be united. Rachel, you had an announcement?" Mr. Schue asked. I got up and left, with no desire to hear Rachel talk anymore than I had to. Right now, I needed to find a way to get back at the Glee Club. Not because I cared about them or the club or the losers in it. Because...well I'd think of a believable reason later, and then find a way to make myself believe that its true.

**A/N-Kay Hope you liked the first chapter, pleaase let me know if I should keep writing or not! Review people review! alright the songs were _We got the Beat_ by the go-gos, Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan, and It's not unusual by Tom Jones...kay review! Later(:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N-Hey guys! Thanks to those who reviewed, cause' without them chapter 2 wouldn't exist! So, enjoy the story and PLEASE REMEMBER TO REVIEW****! 3 P.s. The first part is between ep. 1 and ep. 2. After that it's episode 2, and whatever I made up that happens between scenes. Just in case you were wondering haha(:**

_**Chapter Two**_

"Quinn?" I heard my mom say my name hesitantly, like she didn't want to come in my room. My mom was better than my dad, though. He found out about me, and he refused to speak to me. Even after kicking me out of _his_ house when he found out about my pregnancy. My mom at least tried. It wasn't her fault that I always ignored her. I just looked up from the wall when I heard her open my door.

"Do you want some dinner? I made pasta." She said, trying to get me to at least eat. I just shook my head. _Why was she being so nice to me? I didn't deserve it! _I went back to staring intently at my wall, lost in my own world. It seemed like this depression thing was getting worse and worse. Wasn't it supposed to get better? I'm not stupid, as much as it may seem. And I'm not totally crazy either. The difference between me and the rest of The Skanks is that I _knew_ everything I was doing was wrong. Which didn't help my guilt much. It just made it harder and harder each day to wake up. It didn't give anything to look forward too...and at this point, I was kind of seeing life more as a burden than a blessing. The guilt was eating me alive. I knew drugs weren't the answer to anything, I knew I should stick to dating guys around my age, I knew that throwing away my life wasn't the best thing to do. But I convinced everyone so thoroughly that that's what I wanted in life, I almost had myself believing it too. Almost. But when I'm all alone, nothing stops the aching in my brain and the pounding in my heart, or the misery that engulfs my thoughts. I know something is wrong with me. You don't have to tell me. Like I said, I'm not stupid. I knew that everything I was doing was wrong in every possible way, but that didn't make me want to stop. At least the drugs helped with the pain from Beth a little bit more. I don't blame her, I don't think everything that happened with Beth is what did this to me. I think things started going wrong before that, I remember feeling happy and whole, and then slowly things started getting worse, so slowly I could barely notice. Just little by little, losing one puzzle peice at a time, so scarcely that no one even noticed how detached I became. Things went wrong before that phone call from Shelby, that's just what sent me over the edge. That's what caused me to ginally break. And even though I'm not crazy, I know that something is psychologically wrong with me. Otherwise, I'd be able to deal with this...whatever this is. So I don't need people telling me that I'm overreacting. I've heard it all. Everything from _C'mon Quinn...That was almost 2 years ago! She's better off with Shelby anyways... _to_ You held her one time! Its not like you can actually miss her. What's your problem?_ And just about everything you can think of in between. But they also don't know what it feels like. It wasn't just Beth. And that's what they don't get. It was the series of things leading up to her, the little things that added up to that phone call, everything that happened from the time I had her to the day Shelby called me...That phone call wasn't was broke me, it was just the snapping point.

"Quinn." That was a voice I hadn't heard in a long time. I looked up at my door. _Why can't they just let me stay in here alone?_

The door opened and I saw my dad standing there. For some reason, seeing him sent a wave of fury threw me.

"What? Did you come in here to try and bring back your little girl too? You are so stupid dad! This is me! Did you think the little girl you thought I always was would get pregnant in the first place! I finally found myself, and there's no way your taking that away form me! Did you ever think that any of this is your fault? Your the one that kicked me out in the first place. Maybe if you let me live with you, things would've been different! But you walked out of my life the day I walked out of that house and no one gave you any right to come back in here like your still the boss of me and try and take over my world again! Why do you decide _now_ to come back in my life? After 2 years, you never even talked to me! And now you try and act like you still know me? Just get out of my fucking room!" I screamed at him, blinded by how angry I was at him, not even sure why I was so mad. When he didn't leave, I grabbed a chair and threw it at the door, not really aiming at him, but making it seem like I was.

"Get out!" After that, he did leave. And I burried myself under my sheets, crying until my eyes wouldn't produce anymore tears. But I sobbed myself to sleep even after the tears stopped coming. This pain was getting too hard to handle, and the drugs were making everyting worse. Some people say they're not addicted to drugs. They say they can stop whenever. They're in denial with the fact that they aren't in control anymore. That isn't me. I know I'm hooked on drugs, I know I can't go a couple hours without popping a pill or smoking, I know I'm addicted, and that they're making things worse than they are. But it doesn't matter whether the drugs help or if they don't, 'cause I just can't stop. Anyone who quits using has a reason to clean up their life. But if I can't even figure out what there is to live for, then I can't quit the drugs for something when nothing out there is for me.

"Out of all the kids in this school, I think you are the biggest unicorn." I heard Brittany say to Kurt as I walked down the hallway. _What is she talking about?_ Apparently Kurt was thinking the same thing when he said,

"I'm Sorry?"

"Well, when a pony does a good deed, he gets a horn, and he, he becomes a unicorn. Then he poops out cotton candy until he forgets he's magical, and then his horn falls off. And black unicorns, they become zebras." The look on Kurts face the whole time she was talking was priceless.

"Well, thats, that's a terrifying story..." He tried. Obviously that wasn't what Britt was looking for.

"No it's not. No, okay, no. The point is, is that a unicorn is..is somebody who knows they're magical and isn't afraid to show it."

Kurt still didn't look like he understood. I followed them carefully, just curious to see where Brittany was going with this.

"You went through hell last year," she continued, "and you never forgot how special you were. And I've slept with alot of people and I'm really popular so I think that I could get you mega votes." She finished. That was actually a pretty motivational story, if you really think about it. The thing with Brittany is that she's really smart, she just doesn't know it. And if you don't look hard enough, everything she says just seems to make no sense. But if you look close, she really teaches you important stuff. Not like I cared.

"Why don't you just run then?" Kurt asked her. It was a reasonable question.

"I'm not smart enough." She shrugged, proving my point that she doesn't know that she's not as dumb as people think. I remembered hearing from Santana that in class she thought the capital of Ohio was O and that the president was Will.. Which is an easy mistake...

"Well, Britt I have to say that I'm flattered. And really excited." Kurt laughed.

"Cool," She smiled at him, "kay I'll come over after school and we'll work on your campaign posters. I got alot of great ideas." She looked really excited.

"I'll see you then!" Kurt finished.

As they went there seperate ways, I ditched them and went to find my Skanks. They were under the bleachers, like usual.

I sat down near them, but off to the side a little because I couldn't stand the smell of Ronnie. She smelled worse today that she usually does.

"Hey Quinn." Sheila called to me.

"Yeah?" I looked at her.

"Did you hear about the gleeks club booty camp?"

"Booty camp...?" I looked at her confused.

"Yeah, he finally realized his kids couldn't dance and put a few of them in booty camp." The rest of them laughed.

"Which ones?" I didn't really care, I was just curious. Or, that's what I keep telling myself.

"Um, that one football player..the one that knocked you up..and Finn i think his name is. And the gay kid, whatever his name is, and then that black girl that's like the only one in the group that can sing. Then the other gay kid wants to go and practice...why?"

"Just wanted to know which ones dance the worst.." I continued smoking until I felt like my lungs were going to fall off.

"Hey, Quinn, let's go do something fun." 'The Mack' whined. I shrugged.

"Fine. Let's go find a freshmen. We scoped the hallways till we found a little brunette girl. I'd never seen her before in my life, but we followed her into the bathroom. She looked scared when she us, but that was nothing compared to the look she gave up when Sheila and Ronnie pushed her into the stall. 'The Mack' slammed her head in the toilet, laughing as the little girl gasped for breath. When she finally let her up, the little girl rubbed her eyes, and coughed so much I thought we might have killed her.

"Give us your lunch money." I started.

"We're hungry we need something to barf back up." Ronnie finished.

She backed away from us, looking terrified.

"Don't test me." Sheila told the little girl. "I was a foster kid. Which means I'm used to stabbin' people." Sheila pulled out a spoon and pointed it at the little girl, who was now crying silently. She reached out her hand towards me, like she was afraid I'd bite her or something.

"You're so mean." She squeaked through tears.

"That's right!" The Mack said in her face. "It's what passes for love in my house."

Sheila chased her out the bathroom door with the spoon. I felt like punching someone when Sue walked in after her.

"Skanks," she started, sounding very dissapointed. "I need to talk to that lady alone." She pointed at me. They all walked out as I started to light another cigarette.

"First of all," She took the cigarette away from me, "smoking kills. Second, it really does make you look cooler, doesn't it?" She smirked.

"Sorry Coach, but you have no power over me anymore, cause I've got nothin' left to lose." That was almost the only truthful thing I'd said all day.

"Oh, Q..." She said sadly, "I look at you and I'm stunned. You've neve looked worse. I mean, you lost your child, your boyfriend, your rep, and worst, your high pony. You know who I blame? The Glee Club."

I looked at her through the mirror. _Maybe she has a point..._

"You know, when you were in my grasp, you were at the top of the pyramid. But then you joined the glee club and became lost. Forced to swaay in the background. Will Schuester never did appreciate the gentle tremble of your thin, forgetable alto."

"Thanks." I nodded my head, without looking at her.

"What if I were to offer you a chance to get revenge on the glee club, and become a star? My congressional campaign is producing a video, a day in the life of a girl from whom the arts stole everything...and I think I found my girl."

I turned to face her,

"First, a few demands. I need thrift store couches under the bleachers. I've realized that after smoking all day it hurts to stand."

"Fair enough. Quinn Fabray, you have a deal." She smiled at me. I rolled my eyes as she reached behind me and took my money. Well, at least I'll get to take my anger out on someone...I thought as she slammed the bathroom door. I kicked the wall as I walked out of the bathroom, heading to the bleachers to catch up with the rest of the Skanks.

"What'd she want?" Sheila asked as I met them under the bleachers.

"Needs help messing with the glee club.." I muttered. They shrugged. I pulled out a bottle from my purse and swallowed three of the orange pills. Everything that happened the next couple hours were not registered in my memory. I just know I ended up at home in bed, not sure how I got there. I looked at my phone, with message from Santana.

_Watch where you leave yourself lying around unconcious..not everyone will drop you off back at your house. At least wait till you get home. Your welcome._

I rolled my eyes. So Santana took my knocked out body home, big deal, it doesn't mean that we're friends all the sudden. I still hate her, and everyone else in this god damn planet.

"There's leftovers in the fridge!" My mom yelled to me around dinner time, in case I decided to eat sometime. After I could tell my mom went to bed, I crept downstairs, shoveling pasta in my mouth. I hadn't eaten in days, and I couldnt feel the effects kicking in when it hurt my stomach just to breath.

_Beeeep beeeep beeeeep_, my alarm screeched in my ear. It tooke everything in my power just to get out of bed and drag myself to school.

I pulled into the parking lot and Puck ran up to me.

"What do you want?" I practically spit at him.

"I need you." I just stared at him.

"Come on!" He grabbed my hand, but I pulled away and followed him into the school.

"I don't have time for this." I sighed, not even sure where we were headed. "I gotta meet the Skanks on the roof. Were gonna throw ketchup covered tampons on marching band." He led me into the choir room. And there she was, staring at me like she didn't ruin my entire life. I glared at Puck for bringing me here. He looked satisfied. Shelby stood up and walked towards me, smiling at me like nothing was wrong. I walked towards her, just wanting to know what she had to say to me.

"Your back." I stated.

"Yeah, I went to New York. Thought I'd do it all, the whole working mother thing. But when I was in rehearsal, even performing I couldn't stop thinking about Beth. How I could miss her milestones, you know? Her first steps, her first words, her first-" I cut her off.

"I get it." I said it with anger I didn't know was building up inside me. First the phone call, and then she moves here and just ruins me more in person? Why was she torturing me like this?

"So, when I got this job offer, I couldn't refuse. I've missed so many firsts in Rachels life, I'm not about to do that with Beth."

"Great story. But I'm late for a meeting on the roof. I felt like I had to get out of there before I broke down.

"Quinn just listen to her." Puck told me, grabbing my arms so I wouldn't leave.

"Hey, look." Shelby said, "since the day that I gave Rachel up for adoption I have been walking through life, searching for her face everywhere I go. Imagining what she's doing, what she may be like. I don't want you to go through what I went through. Part of me is back here because I want you to get to kow Beth, I want you to be a part of her life."

"When do I get to see her?" I said it like I still didn't care, even though I wanted more than anything to hold her.

"Are you okay? What's going on with you? Are you even in Glee anymore?" _Was she just now noticing that I didn't look like my normal self? _

"Did you come here just to torment me with the idea of seeing my child?"

"Look, I want you to be a part of Beth's life. But not like this. If you're really serious about Beth, clean up your act."

"You think you can tell me what to do? Just 'cause you signed a couple of papers? Your not her mom, I'm her mom!"

"Quinn," Puck joined in, but I ignored him.

"Me! So, you can pretend _all_ you want, but that is something you are _never_ going to be." Is stared her in the eyes, and then ran out of the room, already feeling the tears coming. I cried all the way down the stairs, all the way up the janitors stairs to the roof of the school. I bit back the tears as they tossed the ketchup covered tampons down at the marching band. I tried so hard not to break down in front of the Skanks. I just stared at the concete below us. I couldn't bring myself to do anything but just stare at the ground. It'd be _so _easy. Just lean over to far, fall, it'd look like an accident, or like one of the Skanks pushed me. I could make it all go away.

"Quinn? You coming?" Ronnie called as they walked away. I took one last longing look at the concrete slab below us and drew my eyes away, following them. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I noticed that my days were having less and less events as I sat under the bleachers for almost 3 hours doing nothing. I decided to go see Shelby, to get a few things straight with her. Walking down the hall, I heard,

"I am a shining star. I am a shining star. I am a shining star!" Coming from the worst voice I'd ever heard. That could only be one person. I passed Sugar Motta as I walked into Shelby's choir room. Sugar looked way more excited than a person should be...especially a person that sings that badly. Shelby didn't look the slightest bit happy to see me.

"She's hopeless, you know." I said, talking about Sugar.

"Nobody's hopeless..." Shelby reasoned with me. "What happened to you Quinn? Sorry, I know what happened to you. The same thing happened to me, when I gave up Rachel. I went with the Regis Philbin tattoo and the Shane O'Conner haircut." She smiled at me, and I almost smiled back.

"Must've looked like crap." I smiled.

"It was a disaster."

We both laughed a little. Though I didn't understand why anyone would be upset about losing Berry...

"But eventually, I realized that, no matter how much it hurt me, I did right by my daughter." Everything she said was really getting to me.

"That's the real measure of motherhood. How much of yourself would you give up for them. King solomon and all that.

"Yeah, well I'm not going back to being that girl! Little miss blonde perfect." I started getting angry.

"Quinn, were you ever really that girl? I mean, would that kind of girl even get pregnant in the first place? Do you seriously expect anybody to think that this is the real you?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. Something like this."

"Your eighteen! Your graduating high school. This is the time when you should find yourself! First step to becoming an adult, stop punishing yourself for things you did when you were a child." She walked away, leaving me standing there with alot to think about.

I turned towards Shelby, not wanting to ask but I thought I couldn't handle not doing it it.

"Can I see her? I know Puck got to..."

"Not yet." She shook her head.

"How bout a photo? ...please?" I practically begged her. Shelby grabbed her phone and pulled up a picture of _my daughter._ It was a picture of Puck holding the most beautiful little blonde baby girl I'd ever seen. I couldn't push back the tears.

"You wanna know who you really are, look at that sweet, special little face. She looks just like you." I couldn't keep from crying. Just looking at Beth, she was so perfect.

"You can be a part of this family too Quinn, I really want you to be. It's all up to you." I just couldn't seem to stop the tears. As soon as Shelby walked away, I started crying. I just stood there sobbing, wanting my child more than anything else in the world. And I would do just about anything to get to see her precioius little face in person, to get to hold her in my arms and be able to say that she's mine. I wanted Beth back, and there was nothing that would stop me from getting her. I left school right then, it's not like I actually showed up for my classes anyways. I bought hair dye, new clothes, and drove home, going fast enough over the speed limit to get me a ticket I didn't have the money to pay off. I made it back to the school in the middle of booty camp, walking in, shocking everyone in the Glee Booty Camp that saw me standing there, just as Finn finished a dance without almost killing someone. They all just stared.

"Can I help you Quinn?" Mr. Schue said.

"I heard this was for people who needed a little help with there dance moves, and wanna win nationals..."

"That's right..."

"I'm a little rusty...and uh, would it be cool if I joined in?"

"Absolutely." Mr. Schue smiled at me. "Welcome back."

"Get in here girl!" Mercedes called. "You been missed." She gave me a hug, smiling at me. They all came over giving me a hug and welcoming me back. It felt nice to be with people who cared about me, but I still felt detached.

"Get in lines, booty camp here we go! Line it up!" Mr. Schue said to us all. "Oh, Kurt, uh.." He walked over to Kurt. Puck turned to me, grinning that cheesy smile.

"I'm proud of you." He said it completely serious. I dropped my smile.

"I have to get her back. If that takes dying my hair blonde and pretending that I think I'm special, that's something I'm willing to do. We're gonna get full custody." He looked shocked, and dissapointed, ashamed. But I needed to get my daughter back.

**A/N-iight thanks for reading! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ! pleaase! Thanks so much to you all, let me know what you think(: **


	3. Chapter 3

** A/N-Kay sorry for the longish wait but whatever I got the chapter up now ! ahah kay so i hope you enjoy and leave me some reviews so I know where to go with this, thanks and don't forget to review! enjoy (:**

Where to start...where to start. So much happened. I tried to remind myself that I wasn't always like this, but with each day the memories of a time when I was happy just slipped further and further away. It was hard to imagine myself a blonde cheerleader, when now I'm always either too drunk or high to even manage to walk in a straight line let alone pull off some crazy cheer stunt. The drugs were numbing, sure. They dulled my pain but they just made the guilt _so_ much worse. But I could live with guilt. The pain inside me hurt more than the guilt.

I strolled down the hallway, feeling disguisted as I noticed all the presidential posters hanging in the hallway for people running for senior class president. It kind of made to sick to think that just last year I had signs with my perfect little face for everyone to see while I was running for prom queen. I made my way to booty camp, putting on the best smile I could and forcing the pain out since I haven't been able to smoke or drink as much lately, or at least on days that we have Glee Club. Mr. Schue would definitely notice my glazed eyes or smell or something...

"Guys, Santanas back in." Mr. Schue told us as we filed in the auditorium. To my surprise, and judging by the look on her face, santanas too, no one said anything. They just nodded.

"Why?" I was the first to speak up. I didn't say it like I was angry, just confused.

"Well, she said she was sorry and we need her dancing and her voice. I know Sue has her ways to make people do things that they honestly don't want to do, so when she came back asking for another chance, I figured she at least deserved one more chance. Now get to work." He told us, counting off the beats. I forced a smile on my face as he counted and we repeated multiple dance steps, the same ones we'd been doing for days and no one seemed able to do quite right.

"You're late." Mr. Schue said to Mercedes as she entered the auditorium, like it was the worst thing in the world. I rolled my eyes at how strict Mr. Schue had gotten.

"I know, I overslept..." Mercedes tried to reason with him.

"It's 4 thirty in the afternoon..." I looked at her like she was crazy. _Who sleeps till 4:30 in the afternoon?_

"My alarm clock went of 30 minutes late this morning." She told me with that attitude she's always throwing at people. She lightened her voice when she turned to Mr. Schue.

"It kinda shifted my whole schedule...anyways what's Santana doing here?" She looked confused. _Maybe if you got here with the rest of us, you would know..._ I thought to myself...

"I've rejoined my allegiance to the Glee Club. And I'm not telling Coach Sue." She looked a little annoyed, like she was trying to make it seem like she didn't want to be there, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was thrilled to be back in.

"Mercedes," Mr. Schue called her over, "we'll catch you up." Her and Mike took their spots on the stage and started working with the dance moves again. Within 5 seconds Mercedes ran off clutching her stomach. Normally, I would've thought the drama queen was faking it. But I've thrown up so much in the past 4 months that I know when it's real. Even if she was making it a little more over dramatic, she really did look like she was about to be sick. And once she threw up, we all know Kurt probably would, and then Santana would undoubtedly blame something on me cause' thats how she does things. Then Tina would cry, she does that alot, and Mike would confort Finn would most likely try and give us some long, purposeful lecture about being a team, Santana would then probably blame something on his girlfriend, who wasn't even there, she just hates Rachel. Puck would just watch, I'd ending up yelling at someone (most likely Santana) and then Puck and Mr. Schue would break up our fight that was bound to happen and he would most likely blame everything on Santana and me. I've just learned that that's how things work by now.

"Mercedes, you okay?" Mr. Schue sounded really concerned.

"My stomach hurts, I think I'm gonna be sick." She replied.

"Why are you babying her?" Santana chimed in, saying it like she had a personal reason to hate everyone in the room. "I mean, she can't do three steps without puking cause' she ate at Quiznos before she showed up in this joint." Santana continued. I had to force off a smile at how stright up she'd always been.

"Mr. Schue, you have us scheduled to the second right now. School, Glee Club, and booty camp. When else am I supposed to eat?" Now she was pulling the drama queen thing. Trust me, I had time to smoke and drink. She has time to eat...

"When the rest of us do..." Santana pointed out the obvious. Personally, I think Santana just like talking because she always jumped in other peoples conversations. Talking and being mean. That's pretty much all she does.

"Oh like you eat!" Mercedes spit back at her. Santana's cheeks blushed a little and looked at the floor. If only they knew Santana like I did. That girl would eat wheel barrows full of breadstix at a time, and she had a full meal after everytime she slept with a guy, which was almost once a night for a while. She ate, she just didn't like Sue to think she did. Then again, she has been looking ALOT skinnier than usual...Maybe she really hadn't been eating and that's why she looked away when Mercedes brought that up.

"It's not about eating, it's about attitude. Sectionals are coming up and if we don't give it our all," Mr. Schue started talking but Mercedes didn't let him finish.

"I am doing my best!"

No," he countered, "you're not. It's not about doing your best anymore! It's about doing better."

I tried not to laugh. Mr. Schue looked like a madman right now. But it kind of freaked me out a little. We all just took turns staring at eachother, anticipating what was going to happen next.

I went home, locking myself in my room and lighting a cigarette that was probably under my bed for almost 2 months. Life was good. Well, actually, life absolutely sucked. I was getting no where with seeing Beth and the Glee kids really didn't trust me. My rep. was non existent and I had to once again be someone I'm not. But it's all for Beth. Once I get her back, things will be okay again.

"Quinn honey! I'm home!" My mom called upstairs. I threw my cigarette in the trash can, still burning, just as she opened my door handle.

"It smells like smoke in here..." My mom said to me, looking suspicious.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too. I got home and couldn't figure out where it was coming from..." I tried to cover it hope, hoping her eyes didn't glance to the trash can that was probably about to light up with flames since it was full of paper.

"I'm gonna take a shower and then I was thinking that maybe we could go to breadstix?" She seemed like she wanted to spend time with me. _Why not?_

"Okay I'll be ready in a few minutes."

She smiled at me and walked out of my room. I pulled the cigarette out of my trash, blowing out the flame and stashing it in my ash tray that I kept in my nightstand drawer. I took a quick shower to get the smell off me, and then checked the trash for the things I had burned. The only thing I noticed that had a burn mark on it was the flyer for last year sectionals for Glee Club. It reminded me of singing with Sam. How perfect he was and how badly he wanted me. How many friends I really had that trusted me, that liked me for _me_ and all the solos I actually got. They trusted me, they liked me. And I threw all of it away. But for some reason, it didn't hurt to think about. It just...brought more guilt. About what I did to Sam and Puck and Finn. Especially Finn. And Beth. Everything leads back to Beth!

"Ready to go?" I heard my mom knock on the door. I shoved the burnt paper in my bag and walked downstairs to get in the car with my mom. She offered to let me drive, but it'd been so long I told her to go ahead. We arrived at breadstix surprised at how crowded it was, but went in and ate anyways. If I wasn't so distracted, it would have actually been fun.

Something inside Mercedes changed. It had to. The next day in Glee Club, she didn't look like mercedes anymore. She looked like she had a new attitude and if possible, was acting like more of a drama queen than usual. The more I thought about it, I realized it was actually very likely for Britt to win president. I mean, Kurt running against Brittany? That'd go no where, Kurt would definitely win. But this was more like Kurt running against Santana, and _This goes out to all the women getting it in, Get on your grind To the other men that respect what I do Please accept my shine...Boy you know you love it How we're smart enough to make these millions Strong enough to bare the children Then get back to business See, you better not play me Don't come here baby Hope you still like me if vou pay me!_

that would turn out very differently. I got a tweet from Santana talking about Brittany's flash mob scene int he gym, and I told myself that the only reason I wanted to go was to see the other peoples reactions. I convinced myself that I didn't care. Brittany started the song, with a few of the other girls in the school dancing along side her. People just cheered.

_Girls, we run this motha (yeah!) Girls, we run this motha (yeah!)  
>Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls!<em>

_ It's hot up in here DJ don't be scared to run this, run this back I'm repping for the girls who taking over the world have me raise a glass for the college grads Anyone rolling I'll let you know what time it is You can't hold me I broke my 9 to 5 and copped my cheque._

Santana joined in with Brittany.

_My persuasion can build a nation Endless power Our love we can devour..._

Santana sang,

_You'll do anything for me_

Brittany joined Santana again.

_Who run the world? Girls!_

Brittany sang with the rest of the girls. I walked down, dancing with Santana and a few of the other girls.

_Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls!  
>Who run this? Girls! Who run this? Girls! Who run this? Girls! Who run this? Girls!<br>Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls! Who run the world? Girls!_

The other girls sang,  
><em>Who are we? What we run? The world!<em>

__Santana sang,

_(Who run this motha?) Who are we? What we run? The world!_

Brittany took over,

_(Who run this motha?) Who are we? What do we run? We run the world! _

Santana,

_(Who run this motha?) Who are we? What we run? We run the world! Who run the world?_

Brittany ended with,

_Girls!_

Everyone stood up and clapped, cheering and screaming. Britt took the microphone, and said

"Hi. I'm Brittany S. Peirce, and I'm your senior class president!" Everyone cheered ever louder. I noticed Kurt in the stands, just staring at Britt with a sad look on his face. See, _no one _can beat Santana. If Santana wants Brittany to win, Brittany's going to win. And that's just how things are. I don't know why, but for so much in one day, I just felt overwhelmed. I made my way into the bathroom and just sat there, staring in the mirror, trying _so_ hard to see Quinn Fabray staring back at me. But it just wasn't happening. It was like someone I don't know was staring at me. I tried so hard to be who I want to be, I've tried everything from HBIC, to pregnant bitch, to glee star, leader of the skanks, now mother. I'm trying to find me and nothing comes out as me! Why am I going through this? Why me?

"You're not the only one that can't figure out who you are Quinn. But trust me, once you figure out, it doesn't always get easier. Sometimes it's better not knowing who you really are." Santana poped out of the stall again, like last time. Was she always in the bathroom, or just stalking me?

"How, where?" I stuttered.

"You've known me for how long now Quinn? I barely go to class, and you know I'm always in here. You want some time alone, don't come here. But take my advice. Don't try and figure out who you really are. It hurts."

"What do you even know about what I'm going through. You act like the bitch you really are all the time."

"Just beleive me okay." She said it with so much sincerity in her voice, I would've beleived her if it wasn't Santana. She walked out of the bathroom, leaving me standing in there confused.

I finally shook off the feeling that Santana was trying to tell me something but was too afraid to just say it. I couldn't figure out what she was hiding, probably that she was dating one of my ex's or something, like usual, but who knows. I give up trying to figure Santana out.

I found out 2 amazing things today. The first, and probably more important, Breadstix delivers. It actually delivers! I know what I'm ordering when I get home. And second, and not as important, Mercedes can be more of an annoying bitchy drama queen than Rachel can. She quit Glee Club.

"Okay, so before dive into todays booty camp, I just want to say how impressed Mike and I have been at everyones progress. Uh, Brittany, why are you here?" Mr. Schue started off at Booty Camp. He sounded confused, which was reasonable since Brittany was just as good of a dancer as Mike.

"Well I intend on, you know, dancin' my way into the vota's spot." She tried using Santana's ghetto accent, but Santana could pull it off better. We all looked at her, but dropped it when we realized that it was Britt, and arguing with her goes from no where to no where.

"Okay...alright! Everyone up! Now your homework assignment was the widow maker. Perhaps the hardest show choir dance move ever. Now, when you get it right, one of us is going to tap you out. Then you can have a seat. 5, 6, 7, 8!" Mr Schue counted for us. Brad began to play the piano as we all started doing to widow maker.

I noticed Mike point to Brittany.

"Brittany's doing it right, yeah." They walked over and tapped out Puck, Santana, Brittany, and I. For once, the smile I was forcing on myself was a real. It wasn't even like I really had to force it, it just...happened. I hadn't smiled for real in a long time.

"Good job Brittany." I heard Mr. Schue say before giving her a high 5. There was a mishap with fin, who isn't the greatest dancer for sure, but after some negative words from Puck Mr. Schue moved onto Mercedes. That's when things went downhill.

"C'mon Mercedes!" He said motivationally. Apparently she took it the wrong way. Mr. Schue tapped Finn out, who got the move down. We all stared in shock that Finn got this before Mercedes. Mike tried to help Mercedes by giving her step by step on how to do it. It just made her mad.

"My ankle hurts." She whined. I rolled my eyes, expecting Santana to say something obnoxious and funny to Mercedes, like last time. But when I looked over at her, she was looking at Brittany, who just whispered something to her. I guess, she was too busy to be mean. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Santana is _always _to busy to be mean when she's with Britt. I guess Brittany just has that affect on people.

"Push through it." Mr. Schue told Mercedes.

"I don't feel good." She tried again.

"You're fine." Mr. Schue told her, starting to get annoyed.

"No, I'm not!"

"Look, Mercedes, I want you to be the best you can be. Okay? Did you even practice this?

Mercedes got defensive.

"Stop picking on me! You're always singling me out, makeing me look bad."

"That's crazy."

"You're crazy! For not letting me shine. Where's Rachel, huh? I don't see her here, being a part of the team."

"Rachel practices everyday." Finn jumped in, defending his hobbit girlfriend.

"Yeah, no one asked you Finn! Everyone knows that Rachels your favorite."

"That's not true.." Mr. Schue looked angry.

"Yeah it is, you give that skinny animal sweater wearing ass kisser everything! And for 2 years, I took it. but not anymore. I'm done." Mercedes turned around and started walking away.

"You know, I've outgrown you!" She pointed her finger at Mr. Schue as she pushed down a music stand. "I've outgrown _all_ of you." She indicated the rest of us.

"Mercedes! You walk out that door, you're out of Glee Club." Mr. Schue told her. She stared at him, conflicted for a few seconds. Like she couldn't make up her mind, if this was worth it. I heard Santana whisper to Britt,

"Told you, everything is Berries fault." Britt smiled but didn't agree. I but back a smile, because I knew that we didn't have enough members already, and we couldn't afford for Mercedes to leave. Even though I didn't care about Glee. I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't care. But part of me wanted her to stay, becuase she was there for me when my own parents weren't. I lived with her, she took me in, and now I felt like part of this was on me too.

"I don't care!" I cried, without any idea why, and stormed off stage only moments after Mercedes. The day just got weirder, when I heard that now Rachel Berry was competing against Kurt and Brittany for senior class president. Kurt was not going to be happy.

I noticed the sign posted on the bulletin board, and thought I'd check it out, even if I didn't try out for any parts.

Maria-Rachel Berry

Tony-Blaine Anderson

Anita-Santana Lopez

Riff-Mike Chang

Officer Krupke-Kurt Hummel

Mr. Schue had a song for us to sing in Glee that day, if was really depressing, but fit the moment.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones. I will try to fix you And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know  
>Just what you're worth..<em>

_Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you Tears stream down your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down your face And I. Tears stream down your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down your face..._

_And I Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you..._

Last big news of the day, Mercedes joined Shelby's glee club. The Shelby I hate for taking my daughter. Mercedes, the girl I stayed with while I still had my daughter, is now teaming up with the woman who stole my daughter away from me. I had anger inside me I didn't even know existed.

**A/N-Thanks for reading, please review(:**


	4. Chapter 4

It's time for us to part Yeah it's best for us to part Oh, but I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself I'll miss you The nights are long alone I sit alone and moan Oh, 'cause I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself I'll miss you And no more tears to cry I'm out of goodbyes It's time for us to part Although it breaks my heart Oh, 'cause I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself Take care of yourself Take care of yourself I love you...

It's time for us to part  
>Yeah it's best for us to part<br>Oh, but I love you  
>Ooh, I love you<br>Take care of yourself  
>I'll miss you<p>

The nights are long alone  
>I sit alone and moan<br>Oh, 'cause I love you  
>Ooh, I love you<br>Take care of yourself  
>I'll miss you<p>

And no more tears to cry  
>I'm out of goodbyes<p>

It's time for us to part  
>Although it breaks my heart<br>Oh, 'cause I love you  
>Ooh, I love you<br>Take care of yourself  
>Take care of yourself<br>Take care of yourself  
>I love you<p>

Read more: .com/glee-cast-lyrics-take-care-of-yourself-m6g7bbs#ixzz1eqdXvHWC  
>Meningitis - Your favorite Music Community<p>

It's time for us to part Yeah it's best for us to part Oh, but I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself I'll miss you The nights are long alone I sit alone and moan Oh, 'cause I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself I'll miss you And no more tears to cry I'm out of goodbyes It's time for us to part Although it breaks my heart Oh, 'cause I love you Ooh, I love you Take care of yourself Take care of yourself Take care of yourself I love you

**A/N-Kay all that stuff up there, just ignore it. I've been trying for 20 minutes to make it go away and I have noooo clue how its up there cause' Its not in the document when I open it in word...so yeah please just ignore it d: sorry , andddd thanks sooooo much for reading I can't thank you enough! I hope you like this, and please please please review it'd mean a lot to me! I made this one like REALLY long, so I broke it into the 2 chapters...aha kay but the next one should be a lot shorter so yeaaah, Kay thanks and enjoy the story!**

_**Episode 4: Pot O' Gold, Part 1**_

_I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you! _Those were the only three words running through my mind when I went home, kicking my bed frame with each scream that echoed in my head. I couldn't believe Mercedes would just leave like that, after all we'd been through, she was one of the original Glee Club members, the losers I never would've gotten to know if it weren't for the stupid club and now she's gone.

_You're angry because it's Shelby she went to. You're mad because you feel jealous that she's getting close to Shelby. Not because she abandoned glee club and left us to lose. _I tried to convince myself that I was so angry about her leaving because she was getting the opportunity to get close to Shelby, a chance I'd give anything for in order to get my daughter back. I didn't want to believe that I really was worried for Glee Club. I had to keep myself thinking that I didn't care about it. I couldn't let anything get in my way of getting my daughter back, no matter how badly I wanted to.

"Puck." I said, calling him the moment I came up with the plan.

"Quinn..." He replied confused, probably wondering why I called him.

"We're gonna get Beth back..." I told him, getting straight to the point.

"But, I know you-"

"No listen. I came up with a plan. I've been doing some reading, and I think I got something that will work..."

"Quinn just-"

"Listen to me! We just have to-"

"Shut up Quinn. No. We're not doing that."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I don't care."

"Hold on Puck, just listen to me! I just want to see her. Beth."

"How do you plan on even getting into her house..."

"Trust me. I know how girls work. Just meet me by the gym tomorrow morning." I explained to him, knowing I had him convinced. I did some research on baby sacrifices, and picked a few books up at some out of the way book store along with some Hot sauce and a few other things we'd need to pull this off. Of course, I wouldn't tell Puck what we were doing till we got there.

"Okay, what are we doing Quinn?" Puck asked me when he saw me and Santana get out the car. Yeah, just my luck that today is the _one_ day I had to give Santana a ride to school. I motioned for Puck to hold on a second, while I finished up with Santana.

"What's your problem?" I asked her, noticing her mixed expression. She looked mad, like Santana mad, yet like she was fighting back tears, but like she was ready to kill someone. Almost like she was jealous, but there was no telling what she was jealous about.

"None of your business Q. Why do you care?"

"Just wondering." I shrugged, like I didn't care. Which I didn't, I was just curious.

"Well worry about yourself then cause' I don't need you, or anyone else trying to figure me out. Just back the hell off Q." She snapped at me. I noticed her expression go from hard and angry, to soft and sweet, with a real smile that was actually hard to believe Santana could actually be happy. I turned around and saw Britt walking towards us.

"Hey Britts." Santana said, looking off to the side a little.

"Hi San!"

"Hello, I'm Rory Flanagan." A kid in dressed in all green said to us, with such a heavy accent it surprised me Santana even knew what he said. He was standing next to Brittany. Santana's happy expression dropped the moment he opened his mouth.

"Well Rory something or other, you look like a god damn leprechaun so get back on your rainbow and ride your way back to whatever country your from. Oh, and lay off Brittany." Santana went off on him, indicating that he move a little further away from her, since he was practically standing on top of her. I fought back a laugh. Santana made no sense. She was always _so _protective of Brittany, like she didn't think Britt could take care of herself. But the way Santana was staring down the poor Irish kid, I thought maybe there was more than her just being protective, I just didn't know what.

"Well? Are you gonna leave or are you waiting for a fucking invitation. Schools in there pretty boy so get lost." She snapped at him again. The moment he walked away, her upset expression was back, this time just a little more hurt than before.

"Santana, he's new. Why couldn't you be nice to him?" Brittany whined.

"I'm not nice to anyone." Santana answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're nice to me."

"Yeah Britt. I'm nice to you." They walked away, obviously arguing. But I could tell even from a distance that instead of yelling, like she usually does, Santana was patiently explaining something to Brittany, who was nodding her head like she understood. I turned back to Puck.

"What just happened..." He trailed off.

"Santana just being her normal bitchy self." I replied. He didn't say anything, so I continued,

"We gotta find Shelby, and convince her to let us baby sit. I'll explain the rest later."

"How are we gonna convince her to let us babysit?"

"Puck, you are so _slow._" I pulled out a little tube of concealer, and he seemed to catch on. He led me to the teachers lounge, putting on his best innocent school boy smile, and held the door for me as we spotted Shelby at a table.

"Hello." I said, putting my arm on her shoulder, and then taking a seat next to her, as Puck walked in after me. We both put our best genuine smiles on, and tried hard to be the kids everyone wanted us to be.

"I got you something." I continued, placing the bag in front of Shelby.

"Concealer?" She said, like she didn't believe that we actually bought her concealer. I nodded my head.

"To help with the bags." I told her.

"Don't get us wrong Ms. Corcaron, you are still the most tapable teacher at McKinley by far. " Puck jumped on.

"You've been looking tired lately. Which makes sense, you're a single mother, you relocated, you have a new job, it's no wonder you stopped working out...Let us babysit Beth for a couple of hours, any night of your choosing, for some me time." I told her in the most persuasive voice I could.

"Have you two ever babysat before?" She questioned me and Puck. I thought back to our freshman year, when the two of us babysat Terri Schuesters sisters demon kids.

"Ask Mr. Schue. We took care of his sister in law's three demon spawn, and they were practically purring by the end of the night." I reasoned with her. She looked between us a few times.

"Please." I added, with as much honesty as I could possibly put in it.

"You said you wanted us to get to know Beth." I put in, to try and sway her opinion one last time.

She looked between us and sighed. She didn't say anything, but Puck and I both knew it was a yes. I walked out of the teachers lounge with Puck at my side.

"See, we did it." I told him.

"Quinn, I think there's more to this than you're telling me..." Puck looked nervous. I shook my head and made my way down the hall way. I forced myself into first period, even though I wanted more than anything to skip. After first period ended, I made my way down the hallway looking for Santana. Instead, I found Santana talking to Mercedes, who were being stared down by an angry Finn. I stepped closer to Santana and Mercedes to hear what was going on, just out of curiosity. I'd obviously missed the first part of the conversation, but it still surprised me when I heard them.

"You know, honestly, I wish I could but somebody's gotta look after Brittany." Santana said to Mercedes, "I mean, that special place where she lives, yeah it's beautiful, someones got to help her cross the street. I could never just leave her." Santana finished, shrugging. I figured they were talking about something other than Britt, but Santana had a way to factor Brittany into every little thing in her life. It was kind of...different, the way she talked about Brittany. Something was going on with Santana, but I just couldn't figure out what.

"Get her to come with you." Mercedes smiled. Then it clicked, what they were talking about. Mercedes was trying to get Santana to join Shelby's choir, instead of New directions. And Santana wouldn't go without Brittany. She looked up, like she was seriously considering it. I noticed Finn walking away, so I took off too, not wanting Santana to notice me and start yelling at me again. We all went to Glee Club, waiting for Mr. Schue. I walked in to find Santana looking pissed off, ass usual and Tina crying into Mike.

"You know what, Girl Chang? If you cry every time someone get's a hang nail, it kind of starts to lose it's effect..." Santana said to Tina.

"It's not a hangnail. Mercedes was one of Glee's original members, I feel naked in here without her." Tina bit back at Santana. I took my seat, as Puck jumped in. "Yeah, well, get used to it. Without her singing for us, were gonna have to perform naked to get the judges to vote for us at sectionals.

"No." Mr. Schue interrupted. "I will not let this setback crush our spirits. We have handled worse..."

"Than losing one of our best singers?" Mike jumped in. That's when I joined the conversation.

"It's kind of hard not to blame you Mr. Schue." I told him, looking for _someone _to blame. "I think you were to hard on her at Booty Camp."

"I blame Artie. Why couldn't you have just given Maria to Mercedes?" Tina asked Artie.

"Because that would have damaged my integrity as an artist." He replied.

"Sorry I am late..." Rachel barged in the door. That's when I realized why it was so much quieter with Rachel yelling at us all about who knows what. "I was putting up posters for my campaign." She added with a dirty look from Kurt.

"Look, Stop it everybody! So, we lost a singer. So, they canceled the musical-" Finn started, but was cut off by his hobbit girlfriend.

"Wait, no no no no no you can't cancel my musical."

"Sue cut the funding." Mike explained.

"The point is, right now, we shouldn't be turning on each other." Finn finished.

"I agree. I can only speak from my experience with the Warblers, but no show choir is just one person, it's a team. When we lost a warbler, we just replaced them with another one." Blaine interjected.

"Which is easy when your waiting list has a waiting list. Dude, I know you're a big deal at Dalton and whatever, but we don't wear blazers here, so have a seat and I'm trying to give a pep talk." Finn criticized Blaine, which was funny, but not fair.

"Didn't you just say something about not turning on each other?" Blaine replied, obviously hurt.

"You can't cancel my musical okay? I was considering changing my name to Maria!" Rachel whined, still hung up on the musical thing.

"The musical is not canceled! As for Mercedes, yes, that is a huge loss for us, but we'll deal with replacing her later. Right now we need to focus on putting on this musical." Mr. Schue joined again.

"How?" Tina finally started talking again.

Mr. Schue explained to us about selling ads in the program to get enough money for the musical. I thought about what he said for a second.

"So, we only have to sell about 200." I said sarcastically. Kurt jumped right in and sided with Mr. Schue.

"Guys, I don't care what sue does, or who leaves us, everyone in this groups dreams are gonna come true this year!" Mr. Schue told us all. I noticed how Santana immediately glanced towards Britt, and then back at her feet, her cheeks bright red.

"Hey Santana, ready to help out the team?" Finn asked her.

"Yeah, of course, why?" She said, much nicer than she normally would have.

"Just checkin'." He shrugged. I made my way out of the class room, knowing exactly what Finn meant. It actually showed on Santana's usually unreadable face that she was actually upset about leaving the Glee Club. I know as much as she denied it, she really did like it here, unlike me. I was only here to get Beth back. Once I had my little girl back, I'd go back to being who I truly am, without hiding behind my looks anymore. I made my way to my car after school, dragging Puck along with me so we could go to Shelby's house so babysit Beth.

"C'mon Puck, I don't have time for you to stop and talk to every cheerio we pass. We have to get back to my house so we can get ready!" I instructed him.

"Quinn, chill out. We're babysitting, we don't need to get ready."

"We're not _babysitting_ Puck, she's our kid. Besides, we're not just watching her, we're getting her back."

"We can't just jump in and take her back Quinn."

"I know..." I sighed, knowing better than to tell him my plan now. He'd back out if he knew what I was up too.

"Fine, let's just go." He yanked his arm away from mine and marched off to my car, obviously mad. It probably didn't help when I wouldn't let him drive.

"Turn on the music." He told me.

"No." I spit back at him instantly.

"Why?"

I didn't answer, so he reached for the power button, and turned the music up all the way. I felt ready pound my head on the steering wheel. Not this song, I couldn't break down now. Not in front of Puck.

_I don't know much, But I know this for certain, That is the sun, Poking its head round the curtain... Now please can we leave, I'd like to go to bed now. It's not just the sun, That is hurting my __head now...  
><em>It just had to be one of the songs that makes me want to reach in the dash board and pull out one of those cigarettes, or bottle of pills _so _badly. Yeah, I did quit the drugs because I knew Shelby could tell when I was high, and I started smoking less because I knew she was starting to smell it. But the addiction was so hard to give up, and right now, it was all I could think about.

_I'm not trying to say, That I'm smelling of roses, But when will we tire, Of putting shit up our noses?_

My hands were shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't focus on the road. Just quitting something that you are _so_ dependent on, just dropping it suddenly one morning, it was driving me crazy. I was practically holding my hands back to keep myself from dumping an entire bottle of pills in my mouth. _I don't like staying up, Staying up past the sunlight. It's meant to be fun, And this just doesn't feel right. Why can't we all, All just be honest, Admit to ourselves, That everyone's on it. _

By now I was ready to just turn the song off, but I knew Puck would know something was up if I randomly reached out and shut the radio off. Was I just over thinking it?

_ From grown politicians, To young adolescents, Prescribing themselves, Anti-depressants..._

I think I had some more anti-depressants in the trunk, under the back seat when I first lost Beth. The bottle had to at least be half full...Puck wouldn't notice if I just reached back there...

_ How can we start to tackle the problem, If you don't put your hands up, And admit that you're on them. The kids are in danger, They're all getting habits, Because from what I can see, Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it._

I think Puck was starting to realize the way I was shaking uncontrollably, the way I couldn't keep my eyes on anything but the glove box...It wasn't really the song, I guess, it was just reminding me of how badly I wanted to get back on everything I'd so suddenly dropped.

_ I get involved, But I'm not advocating. Got an opinion, Yeah, you're well up for slating. So you've got a prescription, And that makes it legal. I find the excuses, Overwhelmingly feeble..._

I did have a prescription for the anti-depressants...maybe I could just tell Puck the doctor gave it to me? After all, my name was on the bottle. No, he'd never believe me, and Shelby would know something was up by the time we got to her house.

_ You go to the doctor, You need pills to sleep in. Well if you can convince him, Then I guess that's not cheating. So your daughter's depressed, We'll get her straight on the Prozac. But little do you know, She already takes crack..._

That's what my mom did for me...she put me on Zoloft first, and talked to the doctor about Prozac when the Zoloft didn't work. She didn't know I was already smoking Crack though. Speaking of Crack, I probably have some in the car somewhere, if I could just-_no._ I need to stop. I can't keep thinking about this or I'll never get Beth back. But what's _one _time going to do? Just to help with the stress?

_ Why can't we all, All just be honest, Admit to ourselves, That everyone's on it.__From grown politicians, To young adolescents, Prescribing themselves, Anti-depressants. How can we start to tackle the problem, If you don't put your hands up, And admit that you're on them. The kids are in danger, They're all getting habits, Because from what I can see, Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it._

Okay, I admit it, I'm still horribly addicted to all these drugs, and its eating me alive to stop so suddenly. Puck was staring at me with quizzical eyes, trying to figure out why I kept glancing at the glove box every few seconds. I know I was staring at it with desperation, but I couldn't help it. _  
>Why can't we all, All just be honest, Admit to ourselves, That everyone's on it. From grown politicians, To young adolescents, Prescribing themselves, Anti-depressants. How can we start to <em>_tackle the problem, If you don't put your hands up, And admit that you're on them. The kids are in danger, They're all getting habits, Because from what I can see, Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it. __Everyone's at it. Everyone's at it..._

Thank god the songs over, but I still couldn't get my mind off anything but those little pills in the glove box, or who knows what else I left under the seats in the back. I pulled the car in my driveway, and just slammed my head into the steering wheel. I tried to bite back tears, to swallow them, but I couldn't help the way the streamed down my face. Instead of hearing Pucks obnoxious voice, asking what my problem was, or even worse, knowing what it was and lecturing me about it, he just put his firm hand on my shoulder, rubbing my upper back and shoulders until I calmed down.

_ "_You okay?" He finally asked, in a gentle voice, looking at the time. I brought my head up and nodded, wiping the tears away.

_ "_How about I drive?" He said it more like a demand, but I didn't feel like arguing, so I went in the passenger seat, turning the music off once I sat down. I still couldn't keep my eyes off the glove box.

_ "_Quinn?" He looked at me worried.

_ "_Yeah?" I said, distantly without even looking at him.

_ "_Look at me." I turned my head towards him, and he opened his mouth, starting to sing a song I knew so well.

_ When you're down and troubled And you need some loving care And nothing, nothing is going right Close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest night  
>You just call out my name And you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again Winter, spring, summer or fall All you have to do is call And I'll be there You've got a friend If the sky above you<br>Grows dark and full of clouds And that old north wind begins to blow Keep you head together And call my name out loud Soon you'll hear me knocking at you door You just call out my name And you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again Winter, spring, summer or fall All you have to do is call And I'll be there Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend When people can be so cold They'll hurt you, and desert you And take your soul if you let them You just call out my name And you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again Winter, spring, summer or fall All you have to do is call And I'll be there You've got a friend..._

He kept glancing between me and the road, but I never took my eyes off him. He reminded me off all the people that once cared so much about me, even after I hurt them time and time again, they were all still there for me when I needed them the most, and I just left them. But if felt good, knowing that somewhere inside, Puck still cared about me, and he wanted me to be okay. Not that I'd ever truly be okay, but it still felt nice knowing he still cared.

_ "_Thanks Puck." I muttered, looking at the floor board of the car, pulling my eyes away from the dash board so that I wouldn't be so distracted once we got to Shelby's.

**A/N-Thanks for reading! This one was long so I just decided to break it into 2 chapters...aha kay review please! And the songs were:**

**Radio: **_**Everyone's At It-**_**By Lily Allen**

** Puck: **_**You've got a Friend-**_**James Taylor**


	5. Chapter 5

** A/N-this is the 2nd half of episode 4 so yeah enjoy the story AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! This just like takes off where the last one ended so yeah I hope its not confusing. **

_Episode 4: Pot O' Gold, Part 2_

We pulled into her driveway, and I turned towards Puck,

_ "_Don't say anything to anyone." I told him in a hard voice, in order to not let my emotions show. He just nodded, but I could see in his eyes that he really was happy I didn't freak out again.

We knocked on the door, Shelby telling us to come. And that's when I saw her. How adorable she was, how wonderful she was. How did I make something so...so perfect? She looked just like me, with darker hair and Puck's eyes. I couldn't make myself move out of the doorway. It was like my heart was breaking all over again. I dropped my purse, stepping over to the carpet and sitting on the floor. Shelby was holding Beth, sitting on the floor across from me.

_ "_Okay, uhh...extra bottle, cell phone, you have my number?" Shelby asked us.

_ "_Wrote it on my hand!" Puck said happily, just wanting her to leave so we could spend time with our baby.

_ "_Okay, Okay." She smiled at Beth. "Alright honey I'm gonna go I'll be back soon, give mama a kiss." Shelby told Beth. It made me sick to my stomach to hear her say that to _my_ baby. I couldn't control the pained expression on my face.

"If she get's upset, just do itsy bitsy spider, she loves that."

My heart jumped when Shelby handed the baby to me. I couldn't believe how perfect she felt in my arms, like 2 pieces of a puzzle that were meant to go together. She had my features, almost to the dot, with a few of Puck's too. She was like the best of both of us, put into one person. And I did that. I made her. She was mine, no matter what Shelby thought, Beth was my baby. Beth started crying, and it broke my heart to see that she had no idea who I was.

_ "_It's okay boo boo it's okay, mommy will be right back okay?" Shelby leaned in and kissed her forehead. I don't think I'd ever felt as much jealousy in my life.

_ "_It's okay, she'll stop as soon as I leave. It's okay, so don't worry. Thank you guys so much, okay, I really appreciate it, itsy bitsy spider guys, kay." She shut the door. I held Beth closer to me taking her in, wanting her to stop crying and remember that she was in me for 9 months, but I knew that was impossible.

_ "_Let me take her, she likes me." Puck said gently, in a playful voice. It hurt me to see her stop crying in his arms. I got up as Puck said,

_ "_It's okay, big daddy's got you."

I set my purse on the counter, opening it up looking like I had a job to do.

_ "_What are you doing?" Puck asked, nervously.

_ "_Proving that Shelby is an unfit mother." I said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"First we plant the stuff, then we call child services. Starting in the bathroom." I explained, taking a few of the things to the bathroom.

"Let's put you down." I heard Puck mutter to Beth, as he followed me to the bathroom.

"Baby Botulism." I said, once Puck entered the bathroom.

"I saw this lady on TV who made her kids forehead as smooth as his butt. People practically litched her." I explained, walking out of the bathroom to continue placing items around the house. Puck just stared at me, clueless.

"You think she's gonna notice?" Puck asked as I slid baby sacrifice books into the bookshelf.

"She's only sleeping 4 hours a night, she barely knows your name." I told him, walking away to hurry and continue so I could spend more time with _my _baby.

"Baby sacrifice makes me sad...what's wrong with Shelby eating Mexican? Is it like a boob milk thing?" Puck asked me as I put hot sauce in the cabinet.

"It's illegal to give hot sauce to babies. This mom used to put a drop on her kids tongue when he was bad, she went to jail for a year." I said, starting to feel a little guilty, but not enough to stop. I was willing to do anything to get Beth back.

"Jail seems a little extreme. Shelby's a good mom." He tried to reason with me.

"Do you want our baby back or not?" I was starting to get frustrated. He looked at the floor, like he wasn't sure how to answer the question. I walked away, done wasting time arguing with him.

"Yeah, I do..." He sighed, starting to help me out. We planted stuff all over the house, in the bathroom, in Beth's room, the kitchen, even a baby sacrifice book in Shelby's nightstand under a bunch of papers. The house was loaded.

I tried to get Beth to play with me, but mostly, she just wanted Puck, which was not helping with my depression. That's when I got an idea.

"Puck, did you bring your guitar?"

"No, but I think Shelby has one in one of the rooms...why?"

"Go get it, we're gonna sing to her." I told him. He jumped up and smiled, running to get the guitar. He walked out of Shelby's guest room, playing a song that I knew every word too. I started it, putting as much truth as I could into the song.

"_ Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes And save these questions for another day think I know what you've been asking me I think you know what I've been trying to say I promised I would never leave you Then you should always know Wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away..." _Puck joined me, both of us singing the next part. __

_"Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep And still so many things I want to say Remember all the songs you sang for me When we went sailing on an emerald bay And like a boat out on the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart You'll always be a part of me..." _I stopped singing, picking up Beth and holding her against me. For the first time in months, I felt okay. Like _me_ again. Puck continued singing to her.__

_"Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream And dream how wonderful your life will be Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby Then in your heart there will always be a part of me Someday we'll all be gone But lullabies go on and on They never die That's how you and I will be..."_

Little kids must really like being sang too, because after that she fell right to sleep in my arms, cuddled up against me. I looked down at her precious face, her innocent little face. How could something so perfect be created from one drunk mistake? But for the first time since it happened, I didn't regret sleeping with Puck. It was a mistake, but without it, the most wonderful thing in the world wouldn't be here. I couldn't stop the tears that were slowly and silently flowing down my cheeks. I can't even tell you how long I just sat there and stared at her beautiful little face. I thought about all the times I'd missed, seeing her say her first words, crawl for the first time, laugh for the first time, it just made me sad that I've missed _so _ much of her life already. But I was determined to not miss any more of it. I couldn't believe I'd given her up, just so I could finish my high school life. She was more important than me, I mean, look how I turned out.

"Hey guys I'm home..." Shelby said quietly as she opened the door, knowing Beth was asleep.

"Hey Ms. Corcaron, did if feel nice to have a break?" Puck asked her.

"It felt great, but I still miss my little girl. Thank you guys so much." She said to us.

"Anytime." I told her, grabbing my purse and heading out the door. It must have been five minutes into the drive when I fell asleep. The next thing I know, Pucks fingers are messing with my hair, saying my name over and over again.

"Hmm?" I looked up, groggily.

"We're at your house." He told me. I looked up, and sighed, not wanting to go home. I got out of the car and left, without even saying thank you to him. He knew I was thankful, but I still saw him shake his head as I got out of the car and walked up to my house, going to bed right away.

"What? It is?" I asked, amazed at how we always manage to get back up after being shot down.

"Yeah, my dad got some business men to sign a check for it, and now the musical's back on." Kurt said excitedly. I was kind of happy for him, I guess, but it didn't really matter to me, so I shrugged and walked away.

In 2nd period, I noticed that new Irish kid, the one Santana snapped at, staring at Brittany. Uh oh, I knew that look. He was smiling, staring at her as her and Santana were laughing and eating lucky charms. _A box of all marsh mellow lucky charms. _I wonder who did that for her...But it didn't make sense, the Irish kid, Rory? Was that his name?, was smiling at Britt, and she turned around and smiled back at him. But Santana, the moment Britt looked away, Santana's smile dropped, just a little, and instead she looked almost...jealous? Maybe she liked the Irish kid...And didn't like that Britt was looking at him like that? She'd slept with a less-than-popular guy before right? But I don't think that's it, he's just not her usual type of guy...then again, neither was Finn... I looked back at my paper, the blank paper due in 10 minutes.

"Puck!" I called when I saw him in the hallway, on my way in from 3rd period. He turned and looked at me, as I guided him into the science room.

"How many pools are there in Lima?" I asked him. He looked at me, confused, and then said,

"I don't know, 25...30..." He looked surprised when my expression turned angry.

"You need to quit messing around and get a real job! Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child? I called child protective services, and they're backed up, so we should have our baby back within like 2 weeks..." I told him, expecting him to be happy. I was not at all expecting him to be mad.

_ "_Holy crap I can't believe you actually called them!" He looked shocked.

"Everybody has their big plans! Colleges, New York, even you have you're stupid pool cleaning business. I mean, what do I have?" He looked at me, like he was feeling my pain. But really, he had no idea what I was feeling. What the extent of my pain was.

_ "_Beth is perfect. She's my perfect thing. Something even I can't screw up. Do you know how hard it is to do something perfectly? I'll never get the chance again. So even if I never leave this town, or accomplish anything, I'll have her to call mine." I pushed back the tears, but I couldn't keep my voice from cracking. When Puck didn't say anything, I turned and sat down in a desk, staring at the wood.

_ "_You know, the responsible thing would be to let Shelby keep her. Shelby can give her what you can't Quinn." Puck told me.

_ "_I don't care! I made that decision when I had her, and it hasn't really worked out, so now I'm trying something different. She's me Puck. She's me without all the bad, and I need her back. I can't do this anymore without her. I can't handle it."

_ "_Do what?" He said cautiously, taking a step closer to me. I looked away, afraid if he saw my eyes, he's see inside me, afraid he'd see what I was thinking, what I was feeling. Afraid he'd see the memories of the things I've done, and the thoughts of the things I want to do.

_ "_Stop it." I cried.

_ "_Stop what?" He seemed confused. I put my hands over my head, trying to block him out. I could feel him inside me, I could feel him in my thoughts.

_ "_Stop it!" I screamed at him. He grabbed my hands off my head.

_ "_Quinn! I'm not doing anything!" I looked at him, straight in the eyes this time, and saw worry instead of judgment. I realized what I just did, what I just let slip. I felt like this all the time, but never too the point where I can't keep it in anymore. I felt like I just broke. I looked at him, and buried my face in his chest to cry. He stroked my back awkwardly, not sure what to say or do. I couldn't help but feel ashamed, embarrassed. Stupid.

_ "_He knows about my leprechaun!" Brittany gasped in Glee Club, as Mr. Schue wrote 'The Magic's BACK' across the whiteboard.

_ "_I have some very exciting news. Due to the collective spirit of this club, particularly the hard ads sales work of...Kurt, and the generosity of the entire Hummel/Hudson household, it's my pleasure to announce that we have raised to money to do West Side Story this year!"

Everyone cheered and clapped, especially Kurt and Rachel. I just watched them all, clapping slightly but not bothering to get excited for them. I was still shaky from my breakdown in the science room with Puck. He must think I'm crazy now, for telling him to get out of my head. _  
><em>"Blaine, you had something you wanted to say right?" Mr. Schue pointed at Blaine.

"Yes, I just wanted to acknowledge that we had a really rough week with Mercedes leaving, and so I prepared a little something to show for what Mr. Schue just said. The magic is still here, so this is to remind us of what Glee's all about, just fun." He pointed at Brad, who started the piano. I rolled my eyes. This kid had something with Katy Perry...always singing her songs..

"_There's a stranger in my bed, There's a pounding in my head"_ He had his arm around Brittany, which Santana obviously found annoying. She grabbed Britts hand, pulling her up and rolling her eyes. I noticed that she waited a few seconds longer than usual to drop Britt's hand.

_ "Glitter all over the room Pink flamingos in the pool I smell like a minibar DJ's passed out in the yard Barbie's on the barbeque There's a hickie or a bruise Pictures of last night Ended up online I'm screwed Oh well! It's a black top blur But I'm pretty sure it ruled Damn!" _Everyone joined in, dancing and singing along with Blaine. Except Santana, who really didn't like Blaine for some reason.Why not? I asked myself, and got up to join them. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to keep my mind off what happened with Puck.

_ "Last Friday night Yeah we danced on tabletops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot Last Friday night Yeah we maxed our credit cards And got kicked out of the bar So we hit the boulevard Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a menage a trois Last Friday night..."_

_ "Yeah I think we broke the law Always say we're gonna stop-op Whoa-oh-oah" _He tried to get Santana to dance with him, but she just gave him a dirty look. Why did she hate him so much?

_ "This Friday night Do it all again This Friday night Do it all again..." _Not that I'd admit it to anyone, but I was actually kind of having a good time.

_ "T.G.I.F. T.G.I.F. T.G.I.F. T.G.I.F. T.G.I.F. T.G.I.F. Last Friday night Yeah we danced on table tops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot Last Friday night Yeah we maxed our credit cards And got kicked out of the bar So we hit the boulevard Last Friday night We went streaking in the park __Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a menage a trois Last Friday night Yeah I think we broke the law Always say we're gonna stop Oh-whoa-oh" _Santana gave us a look that was a mix of repulsion, laughter, and confusion. She was the only one not joining in on this, probably because of Blaine, and she really hated him.

_ "This Friday night Do it all again..." _We finished the song, in a lot better of a mood than we were when we walked in today.

"Guys that song was amazing, I think we should do it for sectionals!" Rachel jumped in.

"So...no concern of showcasing any other voices this year for competition?" Santana stood up, sounding pissed off.

"Oh come on Santana, you were featured last year at sectionals..." Mr. Schue tried to reason with her.

"Yeah I know, and we won." She said, like she was saying she was the reason they won. Which probably was why we won, because we had people other than Rachel and Finn singing. Like me and Sam, and then Santana with Mike and Brittany dancing. That was way better than some stupid duet between Finn and Rachel.

"Oh, no, you know what, I get it. Since Mercedes is gone this year, it's going to be the Blaine and Rachel show. Yay...You all know it's true...Noted." No one said anything. A few people looked upset, well, almost everyone looked upset, but everything she said was true. I agreed with every word she said.

"Good to know." Santana slapped Blaine's arm, and walked out of the choir room. She was starting to storm out of Glee Rehearsals as much as Rachel.

"Thank you Santana..." Mr. Schue said sarcastically. I was walking down the hallway, when I saw Santana talking to the Irish kid. I knew she hated him, and since I had nothing better to do, I watched their conversation. He slammed his locker, to find himself face to face with the school bitch.

"Do not even think about talking for the next 30 seconds okay? Nod so I know you understand me." Santana started.

He nodded, looking terrified and confused.

"Good. Here's the deal, Pixie boy. You've got a crush on my girl Brittany. I understand. She's beautiful, she's innocent, she's everything that's good in this miserable stinking world. Do you agree? Nod." Santana continued.

Rory nodded.

"Good. Also, she thinks you're a sprightly green mythological creature. But I know you're a potato eatin' poser. But since Brittany likes having a pet Irish, I'm not gonna explode you. Here's whats gonna go down. Leprechaun, staring a young Jennifer Anniston is my favorite movie. It learned me two things. One, leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they're gay, and two, they grant wishes. So you're gonna grant me a wish." She smirked at him, and walked away, leaving a confused looking boy behind.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if she planned all of her...conversations ahead of time, or if they came to the top of my head. But what was puzzling me more was the way Santana was describing Britt to Rory. It was like she was saying what she thought of Britt, like it came from her heart with a bunch of anger piled on top of it. No one else would notice, except maybe Britt, but I'd known Santana for so long, I knew most of her facial expressions, and almost always what she meant when she said something. She was confusing me, with the way she talked to Rory, it was obvious she wasn't planning on sleeping with him. So where did the look of jealousy come from? Maybe I was just imagining it.

I went home that day feeling sick and depressed, confused and angry. A bunch of feelings that I don't even know. I had to find something to distract myself from sticking my hand in back in the bottle and swallowing a whole bottle of pills, or smoking, or sneaking out my stash of weed. I needed some kind of distraction.

_Puck, Can you come over? _I texted him.

_ Can't, I'm at Shelby's..sorry _He replied, adding hopelessness to my long list of emotions I was feeling. I needed someone right now, I didn't even care who. I just didn't want the drugs in my system right now, not when I was _so _close to getting Beth back.

_Santana can you come over? -Q _ I asked her, wondering why I even bothered...she was probably with some football player anyways. Besides, I hated her and she hated me.

_Why? _She responded right away, surprising me.

_Just cause'...Pucks busy and I need somebody right now. _

_ Thought you said you weren't in to that?_

_ Not like that! I just need a distraction! _

_ Whatever...I'll be there in like 10 minutes. _

It actually surprised me that she said okay. I thought she wouldn't even text me back. After about 5 minutes, I just couldn't take it anymore. I opened by bathroom drawer and pulled out a small bag filled with small white pills I couldn't even remember the name of. I just sat on my bed, staring at the 3 in my hand. I wanted nothing more that to just swallow them right now, but I knew I couldn't. Not if I wanted Beth back. Why was addiction so hard?

"Quinn? What do you want?" I heard Santana call as she opened the front door. I tried to make myself throw the pills away, hide them somewhere, but I couldn't make my body move...If I just put them in my mouth, no one would know...except for anyone who looked at me. I knew if I just started again, just one more pill, I'd be too hooked to stop. But I just wanted to _so _badly. I hurried and pushed the pills in my pocket as Santana walked in my room.

"What do you want." She didn't say it like a question.

"I told you, I need a distraction."

"From?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does if you want me to stay...Does it have anything to do with your lizard baby?"

"Just leave then, I'm not gonna talk about it." I looked at the floor, not wanting to talk about anything.

"Why is that Irish kid here?" Santana asked me, changing the subject out of no where.

"What?" I had no clue why she was asking, or why she even cared. Usually, anyone less popular than her, outside of Glee Club, she pretended they were invisible.

"That Irish kid, why is he here?" She didn't sound snappy or bitchy like usual. Not even just curious. She sounded hurt, and I didn't know why.

"I don't know, maybe he wanted out of wherever he's from..." I didn't know how to answer the question. But this was the _perfect _distraction. I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on in Santana's head to worry about those little things in my pocket.

"But why _here_? Lima's this loser town in the middle of no where Ohio...Why didn't he go to some big shot city like L.A. Or New York or something? Why here in Ohio?"

"I don't know, maybe they just randomly send each kid to one of the homes, and Britt happened to be signed up for wanting a foreign exchange student. What's the big deal?" I didn't get what her problem was.

"He likes her, Quinn. Fucking Irish kid who barely speaks our god damned language is all over Britt."

"I still don't get what your problem is...so he likes Britt? Half the guys in the school do, and you don't do anything about it with them."

"None of them have a chance with her! This guy _lives _with her..."

"And your point is?"

"Never mind, I'm leaving I don't know why I even showed up here in the first place."

"Santana, wait."

She didn't stop, so I tried something else.

"Santana don't leave, please, just stay we'll talk about something else." I could feel the desperation in my voice. I really didn't want to be thinking about how _badly _I wanted to start the drugs again. I needed a distraction, and she was giving it to me.

"What is you're problem, Q?"

"You wont tell me yours, I'm not telling you mine."

"It's none of your business." She snapped at me.

"Neither is this."

"Fine." She walked back over to her purse and sat down in my computer chair.

She didn't say anything, and my mind started drifting back to my pocket. What was inside my pocket. How badly I wanted to pull it out and swallow it, to make this painful desperation go away. But I had to put getting Beth back first, and I couldn't give up now, not when I'm _so _close to getting her back.

"Why me?" Santana finally asked, this time no edge to her voice, just sounding like, I know it's hard to believe, but like a normal person.

"Why you what?" I didn't get what she was asking.

"Why did you want me to come over? You hate me. Why me?"

"Cause' Pucks busy, I knew you'd come over here anyways if I asked Brittany, and I don't really know anyone else in Glee Club that would take the time out of their day to come sit in my room that still smells like smoke just because I asked them too. You, Britt, and Puck are really the only people that still somewhat _care."_

_ "_I don't care." She told me, but I could tell from the tone of her voice that she did. Me, her, and Britt. The unholy trinity, we were gonna' finish this together, even if everything changed for us, the three of us were still together.

"Quinn!" I heard Rachel's annoying voice shout from down the hallway. I turned around to see her upset face trying to find words.

"What do you want?" I asked her, annoyed that she was talking to me.

"Santana and Brittany quit Glee Club." She stared at me, waiting for the words to sink in.

"That little..." I stormed away to find Santana. I wasn't really mad at Brittany, she just did whatever Santana did. I wasn't mad at them for dropping Glee Club, or I guess I was a little, but mostly, I was mad that they split up us. They split up the unholy trinity.

"At some point you just got to grow up and stop being such an idiot." I heard Finn say to Brittany as I made my way down the hallway looking for Santana. I always knew Finn was kind of dumb, but I never thought he'd be stupid enough to say something like that to Britt in front of Santana. What surprised me though, was that Santana looked more hurt than Britt. She was taking this _best friends_ thing to extreme. It was almost like she was always putting Britt before herself, which was not something Santana usually did. I expected Britt to start crying, like usual when someone called her stupid or an idiot, but instead, she stood up for herself. She defended herself without Santana opening her mouth. It shocked me. Maybe Santana was starting to rub off a little on Britt, which would actually be a bad thing. It surprised me when all Santana did was smirk at Finn, who she would now probably torment every day since he called Britt an idiot. I completely expected her to say something involving her being from Lima Heights, but she just kept her mouth shut and walked away, following Brittany.

"Finn! You are so stupid!" I yelled at him. Surprising him that I was even there.

"What? I-" He started, but I cut him off.

"You want them to stay, so you call Brittany and idiot? You should've been nice, maybe said something nice to them! Not call Britt and idiot!"

"It doesn't matter, she forgave Artie when he called her stupid, she'll forgive me eventually, when they come back to New Directions."

"Don't you get it Finn? Britt will forgive you, but Santana won't! You see how she still treats Artie? She's gonna make you miserable, and we're all gonna blame you for them leaving." I told him. He opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but shut it immediately, probably thinking it'd be better not to argue with_ scary Quinn _as he liked to call it. I rolled my eyes, walking down the hallway, thoroughly pissed that I now only had one person I could trust in Glee Club. Things were falling apart, and I didn't need my stress tolerance being tested when I'm already on the verge of popping pills again.

"Awful lot of empty chairs in here..." Mike sighed in Glee Club, glancing around the room at all the people we're missing.

"This is a disaster! This is not the way that senior year Glee Club is supposed to be." Rachel whined.

"Look, guys, I know this is gonna be hard. This isn't how I pictured starting out this year either." Mr. Schue jumped in.

"Then I guess we got our work cut out for us." Finn said, walking in the Glee Club with Rory by his side.

"What happens when the Pope dies?" Finn added. I stared at him like he was crazy.

"Heaven you think." Kurt answered immediately.

"You get a new pope. There's always new talent to be found, always a new voice. Right Mr. Schue?" Finn continued.

"Yeah." Mr. Schue nodded his head.

"Well, everybody, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Rory Flanagan. He's interested in joining Glee Club." Finn finished. I rolled my eyes, feeling even more hopeless than usual. He barely speaks English understandably, and we're letting him in our already falling apart Glee Club?

"Can this kid even sing?" I asked Finn.

"I sing at Mass every Sunday...I love American music. If you don't mind, I'd like to dedicate this song to my family, who I miss so much." He stood in front of us, waiting for the band to start.

"_It's time for us to part Yeah, it's best for us to part Oh, but I love you, Ooooh, I love you Take care of yourself, I'll miss you The nights are long alone, I sit alone and moan Oh, 'cause I love you Ooooh, I love you Take care of yourself, I'll miss you And no more tears to cry, I'm out of goodbyes It's time for us to part, Although it breaks my heart Oh, 'cause I love you Ooooh, I love you Take care of yourself, Take care of yourself, Take care of yourself I love you..."_

Yeah, the kid could sing.

**A/N-Thanks for reading, sorry this chapter was so long! The next one will be shorter, thanks sooo much and please don't forget to review! Also, the songs were:**

** Quinn and Puck: **_**Lullaby **_**(Goodnight**_** my Angle)-**_**Billy Joel**

** Blaine with New Directions: **_**Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)-**_**Katy Perry**

** Rory: _Take Care of Yourself-_Teddy Thompson **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N-Please REVIEW! Sorry for the wait before the update, I broke my wrist and thumb, so it takes me so much longer to type with the cast not letting me use most of my right fingers! But anyways: Thanks for reading, make sure to leave me with **_**something..**_**Even if it's just saying you like this! or it sucks, you know can't please everyone aha just leave something...and this chapters really short cause' like Quinn was barely in this episode so deal with it ahah..alright enjoy the story(:**

_**Episode 5: The First Time-**_

Quinn Fabray used to be a name at school that everyone feared. Well, not like Santana Lopez, but that was different. People would see me and part like the red sea, they'd hear my name and practically bow. Now they see me, and I'm like every other stupid girl at this school. They look at me, and they keep walking. It's like I'm invisible and I absolutely hate it.

"Quinn?" I heard Santana say my name. I turned in the hallway, looking for the person that spoke.

"Yeah?" I answered, not sure if this was nice, sweet Santana, or bitchy moody Santana.

"I need to talk to you." She led me into an empty classroom and turned towards me.

"When you slept with Puck, did you love him?"

"What?"

"Nevermind!" She wasn't looking at me, but she didn't leave so I figured she still wanted me to answer.

"No. I was drunk, I didn't love him. I loved Finn. But now I love him. ..." I was kind of scared of where she was going with this.

"What's it feel like?" She kept her eyes away from mine.

"Um...not sure how to explain it Santana. It's just _love._ Why do you care all of the sudden? Didn't you say sex is better when you don't love them?"

"Yeah, well, I've said alot things I didn't mean. Like when I said I didn't hate you... Sometimes I just can't help but lie, it's easier." She tried to say it like an insult, but it sounded like she was just throwing the part about me in there to cover up something else.

"Are you okay?"

"Just fine." She said, walking out of the classroom and bumping into my shoulder. I just looked at her like she was crazy. I don't know why she even bothered talking to me, we weren't even in Glee Club together anymore. Since, you know, she switched to Shelby's girl group. That didn't better my mood, so I kicked a chair. It didn't make me feel any better, so I just gave up and left. Why did I always screw everything up?

"Quinn?" Puck called as I headed out to the parking lot after school.

"What to you want?" I was really annoyed with people throwing my name around today.

"What's your problem? Anyways, guess what?"

"CPS took Beth?" I got excited for a second.

"What? No, I don't know. But Finn asked me what kind of condoms to get today..."

"He's cheating on Rachel? First he cheats on me, now her..."

"No, even weirder. He's using them _with _ her."

"Your kidding. Rachel's too much of a prude. I mean we were in celibisy club together, I would know, I used to be one too."

"Well, apparently she told him she wants to sleep with him."

"I'm not sure if I should be happy for them, or grossed out."

"I'm a little bit of both..." He looked directly in my eyes, and I felt a shiver go down my spine. Why'd Santana bring up love? Now he was all I could think about.

"Puck, wanna-" I started, but he cut me off.

"No we can't babysit again, she'll know somethings up if we keep asking." He told me before turning around to leave. I was just gonna ask him to come over. Another day, another lonely struggle. I was about 2 days away from giving up on this _getting clean _thing all together. It was just too hard, and it didn't look like I was getting Beth back anyway. What's the point?

I climbed in my car, just opening my mouth to sing the first song that came to mind, nothing that related to me, just something to distract me from my little _problem _that I still hadn't had the guts to take out of the glove box.

_Stop me on the corner I swear you hit me like a vision I, I, I wasn't expecting But who am I to tell fate where it's supposed to go with it Don't you blink, you might miss it See we got a right to just love it or leave it You find it and keep it 'Cause it ain't every day you get the chance to say Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, it could be the stars falling from the sky Shining how we want, brighter than the sun I never seen it, but I found this love, I'm gonna feed it You better believe I'm gonna treat it Better than anything I've ever had 'Cause you're so damn beautiful Read it, it's signed and delivered, let's seal it Boy, we go together like peanuts and Paydays Marley and reggae And everybody needs to get a chance to say Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky Shining how we want, brighter than the sun Everything is like a white out 'cause we shook-a-shook-a shine down Even when the, when the light's out but I can see you blow Got my head up in the rafters, got me happy ever after Never felt this way before, ain't felt this way before  
>I swear you hit me like a vision I, I, I wasn't expecting But who am I to tell fateW here it's supposed to go Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky Shining how we want, brighter than the sun Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky Shining how we want, brighter than the sun Brighter than the sun Brighter than the sun B righter than the sun Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun..."<em>

Too bad that song had nothing to do with how I was feeling. But it got me halfway home without thinking about giving up all together...maybe there was something in my life I could still work at, one little thing that could keep me going. If I found just one thing, one thing that didn't always hurt me so bad, I could find a reason to still live. Right now? I had nothing but my daughter, and even she wasn't mine. _  
><em>"Mom! I'm home!" I yelled while locking the front door. I didn't hear an answer, so I walked upstairs.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" She walked out of her room and towards me.

"Nothing." I could tell she was looking at me weird as I walked into my bedroom and locked the door. I found a pair of pants on my floor and reached into the pockets. The pills were still there. Perfect white pills. It'd be _so _easy to just take them. It'd make all the pain stop. But I thought about what Santana asked me about love, and if I had a shot at getting Puck to love me again, it wasn't gonna be while I'm not drugs. And that's what made me throw them away, sure, I had other bottles somewhere, but I was finally able to throw these ones out, and if felt good. Like I had a little bit of control left in my life.

_ "_This emergency meeting is now in session." Rachel was facing us all. Nobody knew what we were hear about, but we all looked, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we're bored. Santana was fileing her nails, Britt was sitting criss crossed on the table directly in front of Rachel, thinking about whatever Brittany normally thinks about, Tina was staring at a wall. Rachel opened her oversized mouth and started talking.

"Now, I realize that we are house divided, but I need advice from my girls. The last time I called a meeting like this was durring the Madonna lesson and all of you were wildly unhelpful. But it's been 2 years now and we've all grown up so I'm optimistic." Now she had everyones attention. We were all staring at her like she belonged on another planet or something. Well, Brittany was just looking around but she never knows what's going on. The rest of us were just staring at Rachel like she was crazy. Rachel continued talking.

"Finn and I were...almost, intimate." Santana stopped fileing her nails and looked back up at Rachel.

"Almost? What happened?" Tina asked.

"He ran out...I just, I wanted my performance of Maria to be as realistic as possible, and when I found out that's why I was doing it he got really really hurt." Rachel continued.

"Course' he was hurt!" Tina said.

"Yeah, that's _really _bad Rachel." Brittany added.

"I know, I feel terrible! And now I realize I was just doing it for all the wrong reasons."

"Do you want my advice?" I finally asked her. She nodded.

"Just wait. Look what happened to me..." I responded.

"You could've used protection.." Tina explained.

"I'm not just talking about getting pregnant. I'm talking about losing something that you can never get back. It changes you. It makes everything more complicated." I expected Rachel to be confused, I expected Tina to tell her to do it, and I expected someone to bring up using protection. However, I did _not _expect Santana to tell Rachel that she shouldn't do it.

"I _also _think you should wait. Speaking from experience, Finn is terrible in bed." Everyone was staring at her.

"Santana, that is not cool." Tina said to her.

"What? Rachel wants my sloppy second, she should at least know the truth...Look, it was like being smothered by a sweaty, out of breath, sack of potatoes, that someone soaked in body spray." Santana finished.

"I lost my virginity at cheerleading camp...he just...climbed into my tent. Alien invasion." Britt added like it was completely normal. Rachel looked like she'd had enough.

"Look, I guess then that's it settled. I see things are heating up between Finn and I, but I think we should wait."

"Losing my virginity was a great experience for me...because I was with somebody that I love." Tina told us. Then Rachel zoned off, staring intently at Tina and none of us could figure out what happened.

"It happened in the summer, Mike and I talked about it for a while, because we knew that the first time was going to be something that we wanna remember forever." Tina continued. "and when that moment came, we just knew, it was right. It wasn't rushed. It was amazing. " She finished. Rachel looked like she'd made up her mind.

"He's my first love, I'll always look back at that moment, as absolutely perfect." Tina kept talking. But I was kind of jealous. I barely remember my first time, and it was only because Puck got me drunk and I felt fat. I didn't sleep with him cause' I loved him, and now I regret it _so _much. Once Rachel finally made up her mind, we all left the room, headed to various places, classes and what not. It was kind of weird not seeing Santana and Britt in glee anymore. I joined with them, and even when I quit, they stayed, so it was like I was never in Glee without them before. It just felt different. By the end of the day, I remembered the musical. Tomorrow. Good thing I didn't have that big of a part, cause' I barely rehearsed.

We all walked up to Artie right before the musical, wanting to thank him for everything he did for us.

"Dude, we have a problem." Puck sighed, walking up to Artie.

"We haven't officially thanked you for everything that you've done for us." Santana smiled her _real_ smile, and handed him a boquet of yellow roses.

We all started to clapped for him, trying to show him how much we appreciated what he did for us.

"All of us were so nervous, and didn't know what we were doing, but you were like...a lighthouse, that led us the way." Tina told him, smiling.

"But I didn't know what I was doing either." We was being honest with us. Everyone looked surprised.

"When you're in a chair, it's hard to ever feel like you've grown up. Everyone's always doing stuff for you, gets freaked out about saying the wrong thing, so..they coddle you. And sometimes its hard to ever picture a life of being totally self-sufficient. But directing this musical with you guys, the way you trusted me, the way you looked at me and listened to me, it's the first time in my life that I actually felt like a grown man. It's the greatest gift you could give a guy, so thank you guys. For the flowers and for everything."

We all just smiled back at him, unsure if we were supposed to say anything or not. He smiled back, and then went back to business.

"Alright, show circle. "

"May I? Cheif." Puck said to him.

"Let's kick some ass!" He yelled.

"Yeah! Whoo!" Everbody cheered, excited for the show. We all took our spots, waiting for the show to start.

I listened to the scene, the audience cheering as Santana and Puck, with the rest of the actors on the stage, sang 'America'. The audience seemed to love it. I waited, nervous, for when I had to go on. But no one back stage could hold back laughter as Rory tried to talk with an accent.

I walked down next to Mike, nervous but still smiling, ready for my part.

_"Here you are free and have pride!" _They sang.

"_As long as you stay on your own side!" _We retaliated. My nerves settled down a little, seeing the audience watch us with intensity.

"_Free to be anything you chose!"_ Santana, with the others, sang.

_"Free to wait tables and shine shoes!" _We sang back.

_"I like to be in America! Okay by me in America! Everything free in America!" _The girls on stage sang.

"_For a small fee in America!" _Puck finished the line.

"_I like to be in America! Okay by me in America! Everything free in America!" _The girls repeated.

"_For a small fee in America!" _Puck said once again.

They danced, sang, and by the end of the song, everyone in the audience was standing and cheering, clapping and yelling. This was by far the best musical our school has ever done. When Rachel and Blaine walked on stage, I felt ready to make sure this wasn't a dream. For the first time in ...forever, Rachel Berry looked nervous to sing and act in front of people. I never thought the day would come. By the time they finished singing, half the audience (including Coach Beiste) was reduced to tears.

"Great job guys, great! You all did amazing!" Mr. Schue congratulated us. Everyone seemed so happy, for once all at the same time. This musical was a huge success. Artie seemed thrilled that he did such a good job, and was talking to Puck. Mike and Tina were embraced in a hug, Mr. Schue staring at Ms. Pillsbury. Santana and Brittany were laughing about something, hugging alot, and linking pinkies to join the rest of us. Rory was talking the rest of the kids, while I just stood there, lost in my own happiness. Today made my life so much better, so worth living. No matter how much I deny it, I really do love Glee Club.

"After party at my house!" Artie called out, interupting all of us. We all agreed to meet at his house at 10, before leaving to various places. Oddly, Blaine made his way back to the stage. I didn't bother paying attention. Instead, I headed back home.

_You going to the Party? _Santana texted me at 9:30.

_Yeah, nothing better to do. Are you? _I replied.

_Yeah, I owe Artie something so I figured having me there will make his party actually a party. so I got pulled into it. Can you pick me up? _

_ Sure_

So now I lost 15 minutes because I had to go get Santana. I doubted that what she told me was her reason for going, but I've learned over the years that arguing with Santana never gets you anything but a fist in your face, so now I just go with it... most of the time.

I pulled up to her house and honked to let her know I was there. She walked out with a bitchy expression, letting me know she wasn't in a good mood.

"Whats wrong?" I asked her as she got in the car.

"Does it matter? Just drive the fucking car."

I shrugged, and put the car into drive, heading to Arties house.

"If you hate Artie so much, why do you even wann ago to this? I know it's not cause you don't want Britt there alone. She's gone to plenty of parties, way worse than this, and you never cared then." I pushed, knowing she wo uldn't do anything while I was driving.

"I don't _hate_ him. I actually kinda feel sorry for him. I don't hate him, I'm jealou s of him." Her face turned white as she finished talking, like she said something she never meant to. I didn't catch on though.

"Why? His life sucks, and your the school bitch, school slut, head cheerio, lead singer in your Glee Club. Your life is kind of good compared to his." I tried to reason with her.

"Cause' I'm totally awesome and in top in every way, but I'm alone. He had love, Finn did, you did, Mike and Tina did, Puck did, Porcelain and the Warbler did...they all have, they all do, and I've slept with most of the guys in our school and I still don't."

"Wow, you sound like me last year." I said, remembering the time when I tried to sabatoge our chances at Nationals just because Rachel took Finn from me.

"And it's fucking annoying, so don't say we had this conversation." She got out of my car, slamming the door as we pulled up to Arties house. She didn't even knock as she walked inside, not bothering to wait for me. I made my wa y inside, trying to find Puck but my eyes getting stuck on the drinks instead. After trying _so _hard to get clean, after wanting it _so _badly, it was like the alchohol was screaming my name. I knew once I started again, I wouldn't be able to stop. So instead of getting drunk like everyone else, I walked over to the oposite side of the house from the kitchen, bumping into Puck.

"Where's Berry and Finn?" I asked him, noticing the absence of Rachels annoying voice.

"Didn't come." He shrugged, "Blaine and Kurt cancelled out too." He told me, making his way to the kitchen to get another drink. I had to force myself to not follow him. Instead, I tried to find someone else I was friends with, but it seemed like everyone was avoiding me. I noticed a crowd of all the guys in the corner, so I made my way over there to see what was going on. Brittany was in her bra and underwear, with dollar bills sticking out of ever ywhere while she was dancing to the music Artie had blaring out. The boys were all cheering for her, as she dumped her drink all over the floor and all over them. Santana was laying on the couch, crying to Puck, who was trying to get away from her to see Britt.

"You never liked me Puck! You used me!" She yelled at him.

"What? No we used eachother!" He argued.

"No kiss me!"She cried as he tried to get up. She strattled him as he tried to escape but eventually just gave in.

"Guys, I hope you don't mind that I invited Mercedes." Artie said, as she walked in the door.

"Of course not!" We all said, rushing over to hug her. Within half an hour, her and Tina were sitting by themselves, laughing for no reason at all, to know one at all. And of course, I was being the sober loser watching everyone else have a good time. But I hadn't been clean long enough to go back yet. I know It wasn't liquor that I was addicted to, but if i started drinking now, the drugs would seem like a great idea once I got home, and I couldn't afford to start again. It wasn't as bad as it was, it wasn't like they were all I thought about anymore. But the thought of going back was still tempting, and I knew I hadn't overcome this yet. I still had a long way to go, even if I was improving.

"Hey Quinn!" Puck called my name, getting away from Santana.

"You wanna drink?" He asked me, and I just couldn't say no to him. So by 12, after 4 beers and alot of games of spin the bottle, the party was alot my interesting. I could afford one night of fun, right?

"Beer pong!" Puck yelled, pulling us all into the kitchen. Our game didn't last long. Tina was laughing to hard to really do anything, and the boys were all distracted by brittany, who stil hadn't put her clothes back on yet. Not that I remember much, but I was undoubtly yelling at someone for something, probably something that wasn't even their fault. Artie passed out in his chair and Puck was basically bouncing around from one girl to the next, kissing all of us there, except for Tina who was kissing Mike. But we were both too drunk for it to mean anything to me. By the end of the party, I had to text my mom that I was staying the night at Santanas, since there was no way either of us would be able to drive. So I crashed on Arties couch, while Mike and Tina slept in Arties guest bedroom, Puck fell asleep in the kitchen, Artie took his room, Santana and Brittany slept next to eachother on the floor, Rory took the other couch, and Mercedes slept on the floor opposite to Santana and Brittany.

It had to be almost 4 in the afternoon by the time we all woke up, with hangovers almost as bad as from the last Glee Club party. But the night was definitely worth it.

**A/N- Thanks for reading! Please review , and soo sorry for typo's, it's hard to type cause' of my wrist! Thanks , enjoy the next chapters...aaaaand the songs were:**

**Quinn: Brighter than the Sun- Colby Callait**

**Santana, Puck, and the other kids on stage: America- West Side Story**


	7. Chapter 7

** A/N-Thanks for reading! Sorry for any typos and such, I broke my right wrist and can only use 3 of my fingers so typing is a little hard ;b so don't forget to review! This chapter has alot of Santana, just to lead up to the next one since the next episode is mostly about her and I want to show her and Quinn's friendship, but don't worry, it's still mainly about quinn...also, this one is **_**EXTREMELY**_** long compared to the other chapters, deal with it xD Let me know what you think , review! (:**

_**Episode 6: Mash Off-**_

"Santana, just tell me what's going on with you!" I yelled at her, frustrated at how un cooperative she was being. She quit arguing and threatening to 'end me' after realizing it was getting her no where, she just rolled her eyes at me and pushed her way past me and out of the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" I asked, following her.

"Home?" She replied.

"How? I brought you here, remember?"

"Brittany can take me home."

"She came with Artie."

"Puck."

"He left already."

"Fine, I'll walk."

"Santana wait!" I called after her but she didn't turn around. Whatever, she could walk home throwing up every 5 feet if she wanted to. Not my problem. I walked down stairs looking for the rest of the kids, but just saw and empty living room with the door slamming shut. Where'd everyone go?

"Guys?" I looked around the kitchen.

"Bathroom!" I heard a familiar voice call. I walked into the downstairs bathroom to find a line of people.

"You know theres a bathroom upstairs right?" I told them.

"Yeah, but you and Santana were in there." Tina said to me.

"So? We were just talking."

"You guys were yelling. We all heard it and thought it'd be better to throw up all over Arties house than to walk in on a bad mood Santana." Mercedes told me.

"You could've sent Brittany up." I reasoned.

"She's mad at me again." Brittany looked down at the floor. I realized she was still half way undressed. At least she was wearing a shirt now, but she still had no pants on. Surprisingly, nobody else seemed to notice Britt was still half undressed.

"Why? You guys were fine last night..." I looked at her, confused.

"She told me not to tell anybody." Britt shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, probably afraid that something would slip.

"Brittany probably got a solo that Santana wanted or something stupid." Tina said to me, everyone shuffling out of the bathroom by now.

"No that's not it. Me and Santana get all the solos. Besides, it had to be something that happened last night." Mercedes corrected Tina.

"Who knows, they have the weirdest friendship." Tina laughed.

"Yeah, they're either drunk and making out, sober and mad at eachother, or best friends for a day and enemies the next. You can never tell with them." Mercedes agreed. I just nodded, following them out of the bathroom. I could tell that the rest of them knew something was up with Santana, but they didn't seem to care. I wanted to know what was up with her, and I sort of wanted to fix it. We were friends for a long time, and even though we spent years trying to ruin eachothers life, all throughout middle school we were really good friends. Before she started being such a bitch all the time.

When I started going to her school, we met because of cheer. We were friends, and Santana was sort of mean to some people, but not like she is now. People who'd known her longer said that in elementary school, she was a different person. She was nice to almost everyone until 4th grade. She got meaner, by 5th grade she was the most popular girl in school, and she was worse than ever. Middle school happened, and almost no one thought of her as _nice _anymore. Then in 9th grade it got worse, and by our sophomore year, she was the biggest bitch any of us had known. Everything about her had changed, everything. Except the unholy trinity. And until this year, not even that had changed. But now we were barely friends and Brittany was all Santana had left. Part of me felt sorry for whatever was going on with her.

I think somewhere deep down, I knew what was going on with Santana. I knew why she was a bitch to everyone except Brittany, but I didn't want to beleive it. It just didn't seem possible. So instead of even considering the possibility, I pushed the idea so far down in my mind, it'd never be able to find its way out. Instead, I went looking to find out what really was wrong with her. I knew I coulnd't make Santana talk unless she wanted to. And Santana never told anybody anything. Except for Britt. And I knew I could maybe get Britt to talk without having to fear for getting beat up, or killed, or yelled at in a language I didn't quite understand most of...

!

"Hey, did you finish the notes?" The kid next to me in 4th period asked. I just stared at him, shaking my head and indicating my paper. It was written on alright, but not with geometry notes...it was the start of my ways-to-get-my-baby-back-list. I didn't bother trying in this class. I didn't pay attention, I just turned in my assignments, but didn't do anything else. Like participate. It was all part of my I-hate-Shelby-Corcaron-and-want-her-to-know-it plan. So while she was the teacher, I didn't take part in anything, even if that did make it alot harder to get to see Beth. I refused to give in to her, but Puck was trying a different approach to it.

He spent all class staring at her, but today was different. Today it was more intense. And I knew that because I was staring at him the same way. With the same burning desire. Only his (or so I thought) was the want of getting our baby back, mine was wanting him to love me again. Before I went a little over the edge. And then, out of nowhere, he got an idea. I could tell, even from behind, the way his head shot up, and he turned to Finn, Blaine and Mike, telling them something. They shook their heads, agreeing with him. I didn't hear what he said, but I could just make out the words "Glee Club" and "Van Halen" which didn't leave me with a good feeling. But Finn, Blaine and Mike agreed with him, so it must not be too bad, right?

"Quinn, did you get number 6 on the backside?" Shelby asked me, probably attempting to get me to participate.

"Yes." I replied, still not looking at her. She waited for a second, and then asked,

"Well...can you tell me what you got?"

"No." I still refused to look at her. Puck's hand shot up immediately.

"Yes, Pu- Noah?" She asked, catching herself. That made me sit straight up in my seat. No teacher in this school besides Mr. Schue called him 'Puck.' It was either "Noah" or "Puckerman" , but I figured it was just because of spending time with the glee kids that she slipped. It had to be.

"The distance is the square root of 136." Puck answered, pleased with himself.

"Great job. Okay, Santana, did you get number 7?" Shelby turned to Santana, who didn't even stop talking to Britt at the sound of her name.

"Hmm, what?" Santana muttered, when she realized everyone was staring at her.

"Number 7."

"Didn't do it." Santana lied. I could see the paper from here, and she had the same answer I did. Santana was smart, she got great grades, she just didn't like to admit it.

"Well, could you try?"

"I'm sure Noah over there would be more than happy to tell you his answer, why don't you ask him?" Santana rolled her eyes at Puck, who had his hand in the air still.

"Brittany?"

Britt looked up at the sound of her name.

"Number7?" Shelby repeated.

"I drew a triangle." Brittany told us, quietly. A few kids laughed. A blonde kid named Jason replied,

"Does it have 3 sides this time?" The majority of the class laughed, remembering the week before when Britt drew a square on the board, meaning to make a triangle. Santana turned around, glaring at the kid.

"Listen up blondy bitch, I know you didn't get the answer, you use your paper to pass notes with the girl in front you, who you'll never have a chance with by the way. And I saw your last test score, a 7% isn't some thing to be proud of." She turned back in her chair, looking at her paper. Shelby just looked between them, and then asked Jason,

"Number 7?"

"I, uh, didn't get it." He told her. I could tell a few people were laughing. Since Puck was the only one willing to participate, she gave up and let him answer all the questions.

Puck had the most unnusual song choice to sing this week, but I have to say that he did a great job with it. Singing things like this while playing guitar just made him so much hotter than usual. It made me kind of regret not being able to remember sleeping with him. I'd never been in love with someone like this before, and It scared me a little. But it also made me feel like I was growing up...

_"__Oh wow man i said Wait a second man What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year? Uh! Oh yeah! T-t-teacher stop that screamin' Teacher don't you see? Don't wanna be no uptown fool Maybe i should go to hell But i am doing well Teacher needs to see me after school I think of all the education that i've missed But then my homework was never quite like this! Ow! got it bad Got it bad Got it bad I'm hot for teacher! I've got it bad so bad I'm hot for teacher! Hey i heard you missed us We're back! (hey!) I brought my pencil Give me something to write on man! Ooh-yeah! Ooo-oo-ooo I heard about your lessons But lessons are so cold I didn't know about this school Little girl from cherry lawn How can you be so bold? How did you know that golden rule? I think of all the education that i've missed But then my homework was never quite like this! Whoa! got it bad Got it bad Got it bad I'm hot for teacher! I've got it bad so bad I'm hot for teacher! Whoa! Oh man i think the clock is slow (what are you doin' this weekend?) i don't feel tardy Class dismissed! Ooh-yeah! I've got it bad Got it bad Got it bad I'm hot for teacher! Whoa! Oh yes i'm hot Wow! Whoa! Ooh yes i'm hot Wow! Oh my god! Woo!"_

Puck could've worked wonders with that song by himself, but with Mike, Blaine, and Finn helping, it was one of the best songs he'd done in a while.

"Whoo! Wow! Puck! Guys, spectacular! What a way to start off this week. You didn't even need an assignment to work on this, you just did it!" Mr. Schue congratulated them, before Rachel opened her abnormally large mouth and started tromping all over it.

"Mr. Schuester, while the performance was excellent, particularly the drumming, don't you think that the subject matter what a little inappropriate?"

"Well, I think that depends on what Puck's intent was when he chose this song." Mr. Schue argued, looking back to Puck.

_ "_Well, I guess I just, uh, dig Van Halen!" Puck told us, after hesitating a moment to stare out the window.

"Alright, rock on!" Mr. Schue seemed to approve of his reason. Everybody started clapping for them, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Puck. And Beth. And if I really loved Puck, or did I love him because I love Beth? I couldn't make up my mind about that, but I really did feel something when I was around him, so it had to be that I loved him for him, right?

!

_Next Glee Rehearsal_

"Where is Mr. Schue?" I asked Rachel, as she walked through the door. She left to go find him, since he didn't show up to Glee that day.

"He told me that we need to go to the auditorium..." Rachel sounded confused. All of us looked like it. We followed Rachel and Finn into the auditorium, expecting our teacher. Not the troubletones.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked them, annoyed. Finn just looked around.

"Shelby told us she had something to show us..what are you doing here?" Mercedes replied, just as confused as Rachel.

"Mr. Schue said the same thing." Finn told them.

"Let me guess, he wants to combine choirs for sectionals. Well, it's not going to happen. The troubletones are here to stay. So why don't you shuffle your busted choir off our stage?" Santana jumped in, being her usual bitchy self.

"Look, we can compete without being enemies alright? We don't have to get vicious..." Finns turn to try and give the pep talk, which he should just stop doing because it almost never works out. Like now for example.

"Oh I don't think we do, soft serve. See, the troubletones are three F's. Fierce, Fem, Phenomenal." Santana said with as much attitude as she could. Then she added, with much sarcasm, "Oh, and guys hurry up! Go get some moist towels, we have to keep Finn wet before we can roll him back in the sea." She obviously hadn't forgiven him for calling Brittany an idiot.

"Okay, you know what Santana? Finn is in great shape, and your meaness only highlights your own personal insecurities." Rachel retaliated. Angry girlfriend. I could tell from the flicker in Santana's eyes than Rachel hit a soft spot, but she didn't miss a second as she continued with the insults.

"Okay Rachel, your mustache is thicker than a middle eastern dictator." Santana told her. I tried not to laugh. It was mean, but my own bitchy ex-cheerio streak came through as I forced the laugh down my throat. Rachel looked hurt, but before anyone could say anything else, Mr. Schue walked in playing guitar. Part of me wondered why almost all of the guys in this club play guitar, but that wasn't really important, so instead, I stared at him confused along with the other kids. Shelby started singing, and we all turned around to face her, where she came out at the other end of the stage.

_" It's been a long time since I came around, Been a long time but I'm back in town, And this I'm not leaving without you..." _ She looked at Mr. Schue, who started to sing the next part.

_"Just you and I, sharing our love together, And I know in time, We'll build the dreams we treasure, And we'll be all right just you and I..." _

Shelby continued to sing,

_"There's something, something about this place..." _

Mr. Schue sang the next part,

_ "Just you and, just you and I..." _Shelby joined him,

_"Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face.." _

Shelby stopped for the next line, _"Just you and I." _

Together they sang,

_ "Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy. Yeah, something about, baby, you and I..." _

"_Just you and I..."_ Mr. Schue sang.

"_Just you and I..."_ Shelby echoed him.

_"Sharing our love together..." _They sang with each other.

"_And I know in time." _Mr. Schue continued to sing.

"_And I know in time..." _Shelby echoed him once more.

Together they sang,

_"We'll build the dreams we treasure, And we'll be all right, Just you and I..."_

Shelby sang,

_"There's something, something about this place.."_

Mr. Schue continued,

"_Just you and, just you and I.."_

Together they sang,

_"Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy. Yeah, something about, baby, you and I Oh, you and I remember our first embrace, That smile that was on your face, The promises that we made And now your love is my reward, And I love you even more, Than I ever did before..." _

Mr. Schue let Shelby sing the next part,

_"There's something, something about this place." _

They switched, Mr. Schue singing,

"_Just you and I, just you and I."_

Both of them sang,

_ "Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face."_

Mr. Schue continued,

"_Just you and I, just you and I."_

And together they finished off the song with,

_ "Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy. Yeah, something about, baby, you and I So put your drinks up, for Nebraska For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you You__ and I You, you and I Baby! I rather die! Without you and I __We made it you and I..."_

We all clapped, amazed at them, and what they did with the songs. It was actually really good, and got us to stop yelling at each other about Finn being a whale and Rachel having a mustache.

"Mr. Schue, Shelby, I think we can all admit that that was weirdly amazing! But what exactly was the point?" Rachel said, voicing what we were all probably thinking.

"That sometimes bringing together two conflicting things, it creates something totally unexpected." Mr. Schue responded for us. I lost interest in the conversation when Rachel opened her mouth, but there was nothing better to do than listen to more fighting.

"We are not combining glee clubs Mr. Schue." Mercedes told him.

"That's not what I'm talking about! Shelby and I agreed that with sectionals coming up soon for both of us, it's time we all got serious...with some friendly competition." Mr. Schue explained.

"Each group is going to put together their own mash-up to perform head to head." Shelby helped him out.

"The first annual McKinnely high Mash-off!" Mr. Schue announced. Everybody cheered, and even I'll admit that it brought me back to the conversation. This actually sounded like fun. I seemed to be the only one who noticed Santana in the corner, looking unimpressed and mildly confused. She didn't argue though, which must've meant she was for it. Or maybe she just liked the idea of a competition with Finn, who now was becoming her new worst enemy. And even if I didn't yet forgive him for leaving me for Rachel, no one deserved the wrath of Santana. He should've thought about that before calling Brittany an idiot in front of her.

!

Ways to get my baby back

Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother'

Call CPS on Shelby

Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

My ways-to-get-my-baby-back list was getting no where, and wasn't really helping my mood since all my plans had been crossed out for either not working or being too crazy. How was I supposed to move to another city? That one would never work...and kidnapping was sort of illegal.

"Quinn! Someone is here for you!" My mom called down the stairs. I looked out my window, and recognized the car immediately. _Finn. _What the hell was he doing here?

"What do want?" I asked him. He looked nervous, but I couldn't figure out why. Did him and Rachel break up or something? I mean, he hadn't been to my house since we broke up.

"Finn?" I asked, a little nicer this time.

"We're worried about you."

"Who?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"The glee kids. We're all worried."

"Why? I'm fine. Why'd they send you anyways?"

"They didn't _send _me. I came because I want to make sure you're okay. I still care about you Quinn."

"No you don't! You stopped caring when you broke up with me after a funeral for Rachel! Don't even act like you still care." I told him, practically pushing him back to the doorway.

"We're just trying to help!" He explained, backing outof the door and turning around to his car.

"I'm sorry for what your going through, but don't act like it's not their, or like it's somebody elses fault." He called back to me, before getting back in his car. I was starting to understand why Santana was getting so annoyed with me asking her what was up with her. She didn't need people yelling at her to tell them what was wrong, just like I didn't. She needed a friend, someone other than Brittany because Britt seemed to be the center or whatever was going on with her. Maybe I could help myself by helping Santana?

! 

4th period, geometry. My least favorite class of the day. Usually, everyone looked a little down in this class, I mean, who likes geometry? But today, everyone looked especially sad, or mad. Just a little on edge. Or at least all the Glee kids did.

Mike was just staring at the floor, Blaine was absent mindly playing with his bowtie, while Puck was staring at Shelby with a far away look in his eyes. Santana looked ready to either torture someone or cry herself to sleep, whichever came first, and even Brittany looked sad, rather than babbling about unicorns like usual. Finn just looked ready to hit someone. And me? I felt like going home, locking myself in the bathroom, and never coming out.

"Finish your homework in class today guys. The assignment is on the board." Shelby said to us, without looking up from her desk. Even she looked distant today. Confused, conflicted, like she was trying to make up her mind about something but I couldn't figure out what. Something was going on with everyone today, and it was showing.

I finished my homework quickly, being one of the first ones done, and sat there doodling on the sides so Shelby didn't know I finished. Once the majority of the class had gotten up to turn in the assignment, I turned in mine. I found myself staring at the clock, counting down the minutes until the bell rang.

Filing out of the classroom, once the bell finally let us out, I took an extra second to pack my things up in order to watch Puck. Walking out, I noticed he had a little pumpkin that he sat on Shelby's desk. What was that all about? I shuffled out of the room before he noticed me, but I really wanted to know what was going on in there.

!

"Okay guys! We have our work cut out for us this week with this mash-up, and the troubletones have alot of powerful voices. So song selection is key here! Any suggestions?" Mr. Schue announced, walking in rehearsal. People started shouting out their idea's immediately.

"What about the clash?" Artie offered.

"Or the police!" Blaine shouted.

"R.E.M.!" Mike tried.

"Spice Girls." Kurt told us.

"The Jonas Brothers!" Blaine tried again.

"Wait. No, we can't use any of those bands. The only thing that they have in common is that they all broke up. And right now, the New Directions need to feel united." Finn, once again, started in with the pep talk. Mr. Schue seemed to agree.

"I like what you're saying Finn. It's not just about the music, but where it comes from." Mr. Schue explained.

"Who do you think we should use?" Tina asked Finn.

"Well, how about this. People think Hall and Oates are famous for their cool puffy hair and that dudes bangin' stache. But also, they were awesome for staying together over the long hold." Finn explained to us.

"Just like us." Rachel smiled at him. "Despite all their differences."

"I think we should give the solo to the new guy. Get him prepared for what's in store when the stakes get high. Rory, I think you'll do a good job." Finn was in alot better of a mood now than he was in 4th period...

"Thanks Finn, but I don't think I'm ready for that honor just yet." Rory told us.

"C'mon!" Blaine tried to help, "you're totally ready Rory. You'll kill it. We'll all help you. It was a great idea Finn." Blaine smiled, trying to help us all out.

"Thanks." Finn responded, surprising us all that he didn't bite Blaine's head off.

! 

Once Glee ended, I caught up with Puck."

"Puck!"

"Oh, hey Quinn." He seemed surprised to see me.

"I'm losing patience. Why hasn't child protective services done anything to Shelby?" I asked him, annoyed. I went through all that work to plant all kinds of stuff in her apartment, and they still haven't done anything yet.

"I don't know.." He said, probably noticing I was in _scary Quinn _mode right now.

"Did you do something to screw this up already? You have to be extra nice to Shelby now so that we can babysit more, because we've hardly been over there and we need to spend as much time bonding with our baby as we can so that when I get her she doesn't freak out when I hold her!" I said all in one breath. Puck wasn't even looking at me, he was opening his locker.

"I've been really nice to her, beleive me." He told me.

"Look, this isn't a game. Okay? I know Shelby is threatened by me, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get close to her, because closer to her is closer to Beth. Puck sighed looking down at his locker.

"Wait, you can't..Quinn don't do it. We need you and your voice! We already barely stand a chance against the troubletones, we can't lose you too." He tried to reason with me. But I'd already made up my mind. As much as it killed me to do it, I just couldn't help it. I was willing to do _anything _ to get my daughter back, even if it meant turning on my friends.

"I'm sorry Puck. But I'm doing this for Beth." I walked to Shelby's office, putting on my best innocent smile, ignoring Puck.

"I'd like to join the Troubletones." I told Shelby as I walked in her office. I said it as sweetly as I possibly could.

"I have to think about that." She responded to me. I nodded, and made my way out of her room. All she had to do was say yes. And I was _so _close to getting Beth. This was going to work, this had to.

! 

Ways to get my baby back

Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

Call CPS on Shelby

Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

Join the Troubletones

My ways-to-get-Beth-back list was starting to work a little more...I finished writing number 4 and hung it up in my locker, slamming it shut before anyone could see it. I saw Santana walking down the hallway just as I shut my locker. She was walking towards Finn, and this was something I just had to see.

"Hey there Orca. " Santana said to Finn, pushing herself between him and Rory. I waited to see if he was going to retaliate.

"Hey Santana!" Finn turned around to face her. This is exactly what I was waiting for.

"You look like an ass-less J-Lo." He said to her, and I had to keep from laughing. Worst comeback ever. She just laughed.

"Your skinny like all the crops failed on your family's farm." Rory said back to her. Okay, I changed my mind. _That _was the worst comeback ever.

"That is the lamest thing I didn't understand one word of..." Santana told him.

"Not one word." Brittany added.

"Is that really all that you can come up with? Do you seriously think that you can out insult me? Im from Lima Heights, I was raised on insults. Tell me Abuela put me to sleep at night and she is not a nice lady. You know she tried to sell me once? And it wasn't till I got to kindergarden that I learned my name wasn't Garbage Face."

"We'll have to settle this another way. Today, after school, bring your Troubletones." Finn said to her. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" Santana couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Yeah. I am. Dodgeball." I almost dropped my backpack when I heard him say it. Brittany's mouth made an O. Santana just smirked. This was not going to be friendly, I could tell already. Not if Santana was playing. The last kid she played dodgeball with ended up in the ER after 15 minutes, and we were Freshmen then. What she'd do now, to Finn? There was no way both of them were coming out alive. One of them was definitely going down in the Gym. And I had a feeling it wasn't going to be Santana...

! 

I couldn't keep my eyes off them. The balls. The dodgeballs. Everywhere. Troubletones Vs. New Directions, and with Santana on their team, I'm not sure we stood a chance. But we'd made it out of tough things before, we could do it again. Naturally someone brought a stereo. We just couldn't do anything Glee-related without singing.

"This could be deadly! I mean, facing our foes head on without any adult supervision?" Rachel tried talking to Kurt, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to listen to her annoying yapping.

"So you know that our Nyada applications are due next week. I only need to get one more letter of recomendation.. I wrote to Patty Lupone on a website, but I haven't heard from her yet, so.." I guess she seemed to realize why Kurt stopped talking to her. I'd be mad too if someone did what she did though. As much as I hate her, it just seemed even low for her to run for president when he was. I stopped listening to them once she started whining.

Finn blew the whistle, catching our attention.

"Lets road house!" He yelled.

"Oh its _on _Pillsbury Dough Boy." Santana snapped, walking to her side of the court.

"Excuse me, but I've never heard of this game of dodging balls before. What's the rules?" Rory asked them. Puck looked at him, apologizing early for what was about to happen.

"Don't die." Puck said to him, very clearly. Rory looked absolutely terrified, and he had every right to be.

Finn started the song:

"_Hit me with your best shot Why don't you hit me with your best shot?"_

Santana jumped in with:

_ "I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha."_  
>Finn:<p>

_"Hit me with your best shot! fire away!"_

Santana:

_ "I'm gonna get cha get cha getcha get cha One way or another I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha One way or another I'm gonna win ya I'll get ya, I'll get ya!" _She sang while throwing the balls at us, along with the rest of the troubletones. Arite of course was the first one hit, along with Rory who was pushing him.

Finn:

_"Well you're the real tough cookie with a long history Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me That's ok let's see how you do it Put up your dukes, let's get down to it! _"_Hit me with your best shot Why don't you hit me with your best shot?"" _I couldn't help but dance along, throwing every ball I could get my hands on at the first black t-shirt I saw.

Troubletones:

_"I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!"_

Finn:

_"Hit me with your best shot! Fire away!"_

Santana:

_"I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha! And if the lights are all out-" _A ball smacked me in the side of my head, pullling me out of the song. I hate the girl that through it at me, even if I didn't see who it was.

_ "I'll follow your bus down town See who's hanging out!"_

Finn:

_ "Hit me with your best shot! fire away!"_

Santana:

_ "I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!"_

New Directions:

"_Hit me with your best shot! Fire away!"_

Santana:

"_I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!"_

New Directions:

"_Hit me with your best shot!"_ And Santana sure did hit him with her best shot as she slammed the ball straight in Finn's face. Who would've guessed that those two would be the last ones in? Kind of ironic, I think.

"Okay, good game." Finn told them.

"Boy, that was incredible." Rory laughed, walking up beside Finn. I saw the flicker in Santana's eyes and saw exactly what was coming. He should've kept his mouth shut.

"What?" She said, and her and the troubletones instantly starting throwing the dodgeballs at him. Over and over, he was laying on the floor. We just watched. It was like a modern day stoning. Santana just laughed.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Kurt yelled at them. "For gods sake he's bleeding." Kurt added, as Rory looked up, blood gushing from his nose.

"Maybe that's how the others treat us around here, but we dont do this to eachother." Kurt told them. Even I wsas surprised they went that far. Santana was a bitch, but not usually like this to us. "We're better than this!" Kurt told them.

"God, calm down." Santana brushed it off like it was nothing.

"This game's over." Kurt told her, pulling Rory aside. Santana just rolled her eyes. Mercedes looked extremely guilty, even if she wasn't throwing anything at him.

!

"Hey tubs!" I heard Santana yell down the hall at Finn. Once again, something I did not wanna miss. I pretended to be busy in my locker, instead of listening to her.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked him.

"Hey listen, you can't make fun of him anymore." Rory tried helping. I had to swallow a laugh as Santana said,

"Shut your potato hole, I'm here to apologize." I couldn't decide what was funnier: The potato hole thing, or Santana saying the word apologize. Even Finn looked confused.

"Rachel's right. I haven't been fair to you. You're not fat. I should know, I slept with you. I mean, at some point I must of liked that you look like a taco addict that's had one to many back-alley liposuctions..." Santana had a weird way of apologizing.

"Whoa." Rory said.

"Put a sock in it, or ship yourself back to Scottland. I'm trying to apologize to lumps the clown." She told Rory, before adding to Finn,

"I am sorry Finn. I mean really. I'm sorry that the New Directions are going to get crushed by the Troubletones. I'm also sorry that you have no talent, sorry that you sing like you're getting your prostate checked, and you dance like you've been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachels coat tail for the rest of your life, although you know what? I would just watch out for her come holiday season if I were you, because if I were her, I'd stick a stint in one of those boobs and let the Finn blubber light the Hanukka lamp for eight magical nights. " She smirked at him. Santana had a very unusual way of apologizing. She turned to walk away, but I could tell this wasn't over. Something told me to leave, before I got caught up in this, but I couldn't. Finn was actually mad right now, and I just had to see what he said to her.

"Hey Santana? Why don't you just come out of the closet?" She stopped, dead in her tracks. I dropped my textbook, but no one seemed to notice.

"You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down, because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back. That must hurt, to not be able to admit to everyone about how you really feel. You know what I think you are? A coward. See you at the mash-off." He turned around and walked away. I could hear Santana crying behind me, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around. Then, as if Finn was still there, Santana said barely loud enough for me to hear,

"Fucking liar, you don't know anything about me Finn Hudson. Don't act like you can see things that aren't true. I'm not gay!" And she made her way down the hall. I didn't know what to beleive. I mean, Finn had a point. It made alot of things with her make more sense. But Santana? A lesbian? There was just no way...but it made everything fit! Maybe if I could just get her to talk to me...we were once friends, right? After all, I didn't want her to do something stupid now that she knows Finn knows. I didn't want her to hurt herself, or do something she'd regret to Finn.

! 

I spent all day after school practicing for our mash-up, even if I didn't have a big part. We had to win. We just had to. Just like we were going to win in sectionals, and regionals, and this year take nationals. This year, my senior year. It was going to be amazing. 1st at nationals, get my daughter back, get Puck back. I was going to come back this year. This was my year. And it all started with squashing Shelby's stupid little glee club. or joining it.

They kind of left us screwed, taking 2 of our best singers and one of the only girls that can actually dance. I didn't blame Brittany though, she just followed Santana. And I didn't blame Santana either. She wanted to shine, and it made since. Mr. Schue was harsh to Mercedes, so I didn't blame her for leaving. I did, however, blame Shelby. If she just would've stayed in New York, we'd all be okay. I never would have went so crazy, Glee Club would still be one big family. It's Shelby's fault this is ruined.

Ways to get my baby back

Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

Call CPS on Shelby

Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

Join the Troubletones

Make Shelby's life miserable, so she can't handle dealing with a child.

Okay, so number 5 didn't seem likely, but I was running out of ideas, and I needed some sort of goal to work for! I was losing it. Today was the first day in weeks I dug out my pill bottles. And I didn't want to go back to that feeling of addiction. Not when I was so close to coming out of it.

I just stared at the label on the bottle, wanting desperately to take it to just releive the stress, but I forced myself not too. I hated feeling like this. I just needed to throw these away! I dropped the bottle in the trash, but I found myself digging it out a few minutes later. I couldn't handle this, so instead I got in the car, not driving anywhere in particular, just driving to drive. I circled around town, just driving here and there to keep my mind occupied. I turned on the radio, recognizing the music and begining instantly to sing along with her.

"_I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side... When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?  
>When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok I miss you<em>

_I've never felt this way before Everything that I do reminds me of you And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now..._

_ When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok I miss you_

_We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were, yeah All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah..._

_ When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok I miss you."_

I pulled over to the side of the street, resting my head on the windshield and just crying. I couldn't help it, but it felt good to let it all out. I knew no one was watching, that I didn't have to pretend I was okay. I just loved Beth so much, I missed her so much. How could Shelby have done this to Rachel without doing everything possible to get her back? Beth needed me, I needed her. She was _my _daughter, not Shelby's. I missed Beth too much, and it was time I got her back.

"Welcome everyone, to day one of the 1st annual McKinnely high Mash-Off!" Mr. Schue announced in the auditorium. Everyone clapped and cheered, excited.

"Okay, okay. Here are the ground rules. Number one: There wil be no heckling of any kind, okay? Number 2: Keep the language PG." He looked directly as Santana for that one.

"Number 3: Have fun!" Mr. Schue finished, having us all cheering again. _The new directions will win this, _I told myself. We have to.

"Alright, here we go! Finn will represent the New Directions, Santana the Troubletones. The rock-paper-scissors face off to see who will perform first. Alright, let's get it goin'!" Mr. Schue yelled, pointing at Santana and Finn who were about to make a decision the same wasy 3rd graders do.

"1, 2, 3!" They shouted at the same time. Finn had paper, Santana had rock. The new directions cheered, happy to go first.

"Okay, paper covers rock! The new directions take the stage!" Mr. Schue announced, indicating for us to go get our costumes on and to take the stage. We hurried into our costumes and then made our way on stage. Even if Finn did have a point about the song choice, I still wish we would have picked something a little more modern.

Finn:  
><em> "What I want you've got It might be hard to handle Like the flame that burns the candle The candle feeds the flame Eh Eh...What I've got's full stock Of thoughts and dreams that scatter You pull them all together And how I can't explain Ah Yeah!"<em>

Finn and New Directions:  
><em> "Well well you I can't go for that You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that Well well well you I can't go for that Oh yeah You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that!"<br>_  
>Rory and I sang:<br>_ "On a night when bad dreams Become a screamer When they're messin' with the __dreamer I can laugh it in the face! Twist and shout my way out And wrap yourself around me 'Cause I ain't the way you found me And I'll never be the same Oh yeah Well 'cause you!"  
><em>_  
><em>Finn and New Directions:  
><em> "I can't go for that You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that Well well well you I can't go for that Oh yeah You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that!"<em>

Finn:  
><em> "Oh, Listen to this!"<br>_  
>Me:<br>_ "Yeah!"  
><em>  
>Finn:<br>_ "Ooooh"  
><em>  
>Finn and I:<br>_ "I'm down on my daydream But that sleepwalk should be over by now I know _Yeah!"

New Directions Boys:  
><em> "II'll do anything!"<br>_  
>New Direction Girls:<br>_ "That you want me to I'll do almost anything!"  
><em>  
>New Direction Boys:<br>_ "You make my dreams come true I'll do anything!"  
><em>  
>New Direction Girls:<br>_ "That you want me to I'll do almost anything!"  
><em>  
>Finn and New Directions:<p>

"_You make my dreams come true I can't go for that You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that I've been waiting for, waiting for, Waiting for, waiting for, waiting for, Waiting for, waiting for You make my dreams come true I can't go for that I can't go for that You make my dreams come true!"_

Everyone clapped for us, with the exception of Santana and Brittany. Santana was just probably still mad at Finn for calling her out in the hallway, and Britt just copied Santana.

"Wonderful job guys!" Mr. Schue congratulated us. Shelby looked at Puck confused, and Santana just glared at Finn. I was determined to talk to her about whatever was going on. She needed somebody to be there for her, even if she did spend years trying to destroy me.

"Santana?" I called her name, walking out of the auditorium. She turned around to face me, still glaring, but dropped it when she realized I wasn't talking to her to be a bitch, I was serious.

"What do you want?" She asked, but without all the attitude and layers of fake hate. She was just being Santana.

"I need to talk to you...can we go somewhere with less people?" I asked her, so naturally, we ended up in the bathroom.

"Santana, remember when I went physco and get that tattoo and dyed my hair, and got all those peircings and spent all day smoking?"

"Yeah, I think everyone remembers that..." She seemed confused about where I was going with this.

"And remember what you said to me, about us getting two national championships this year? And how we all joined Glee and Cheerio's the same year?"

"Don't forget sleeping with Puckerman the same year." She laughed.

"Yeah, that too. And remember how you said we were the unholy trinity? Besties for life? I know we spent years fighting to be the HBIC and now you have it, so you don't have a reason to hate me anymore, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean I'm the most popular girl in school and your virtually a lonely loser now.." She told me. I pushed it aside.

"We were friends once...before all this drama. Just right now, can we go back to that time where we were close friends? Just for like 5 minutes, back to when we talked to eachother, back to when we shared secrets and stuff like that?"

"Are you so desperate right now that you came to me? That is just pathetic." She laughed.

"Not really, I dont need a friend right now. I don't need someone I can tell everything to, someone I can count on and expect to not judge me. I don't need someone who isn't gonna turn there head when I'm up all night crying. I don't need a person to be there for me, whatever I'm going through. But you do Santana. I'm not asking you to tell me your deepest darkest secrets, okay? I'm just saying, when you need someone there for you, when no one else will listen and you can't hold it in anymore, you can talk to me. If you really need someone there for you, I'll be there. I just want you to know that you have someone you can't count on before you do something incredibly stupid and Santana-like."

"What are you talking about?" She was starting to sound a little edgy again.

"I heard you and Finn in the hallway. What he said about you and Britt. I'm not going to tell anybody, I just don't want you doing something stupid because you feel alone. If you need to talk, I'm here." And I walked out of the bathroom before I got slapped, or beat up again because I knew telling her I over-heard them would not leave her happy. If I heard, who else did?

I got an idea on the way to my locker, and had to add it to my ways-to-get-Beth-back list right away, before I forgot. Okay, so my list wasn't too good, I know that. I mean, the CPS thing would have worked if Puck didn't screw it up. And joining the troubletones might have been a good idea, but Shelby wasn't anxious to let me in so that posibility was shot down. The rest of my ideas though? They sort of sucked. I mean kidnapping Beth would never work, it was illegal and just wrong in so many ways. And making Shelby's like miserable would just make her hate me more, not want me to raise Beth, so that one would never work. But maybe if I was super nice to her she'd let me bond more? It was worth a shot.

Ways to get my baby back

Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

Call CPS on Shelby

Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

Join the Troubletones

Make Shelby's life miserable, so she can't handle dealing with a child

Be extra nice to Shelby so she lets me spend more time with Beth

!

All the seniors made their way to the Gym to hear the speaches of those running for senior class president.

"Hey Ms. C." I smiled at her as I walked past her with Puck. She looked at me weird, and Puck looked away. Did he tell her something? No, even Puck wasn't dumb enough to do that. We found seats, and waited for Figgins to start talking, even if I didn't understand half the things he said.

"Welcome one and all, to McKinnely High's senior class president debate. Such a magnificent turn out reflects the schools passion for democracy, and also a reminder, it is against school policy to pass gas into jars to be sold in the cafeteria. And now our first candidate, Rick "the stick" Nelson." Figgins told us. I got lost somewhere around _pass gas into jars..._Who did that? Probably the hockey players that bumped knuckles when Figgins said it. Rick "the stick" stood up, while everyone cheered for him, as he made his way to the microphone to make his speech.

"So, I was talking to my dad, he says that since he pays taxes and stuff, like for teachers, it pretty much means that we're your boss. So I think it's time that the teacher's started doing what we say! How about you stop talking in class Mrs. Janaseck! Everything you have to say is _boring._ Vote Rick the Stick!" He cheered, along with the rest of the hockey players. Everybody else just looked at him like he was crazy...

"Next, our second candidate, Brittany S. Peirce." Figgins said to us in his monotone voice. More people cheered for Britt than for 'Rick the stick', but it didn't surprise me.

"Tornado's are natures most destructive force. These violent storms have ravaged America, crippling communities all across our land. Isn't it time we take a stand? If you honor me with being your next class president, I will make tornado's illegal at McKinnely, keeping you and your families at our school safe from their murderous rampages. Also, on Tuesdays, I pledge to go topless." She paused, when the crowd errupted in cheers, standing and shouting. I thought for sure she won them over just with the pledge to go topless... "Whoo!" She finished her speach, running out from the microphone.

Kurt stood up without being called on, removing something that looked suspiciously like a unicorn horn from the top of his head. He made his way to the microphone, looking alot more depressed than the rest of the candidates.

"Hello. Um, I'm Kurt Hummel. The past few weeks i've tried to address the real problem of obesity at this school. But my oponents chose empty promises and smear tactics. Although she knows it to be untrue, my oponent Brittany stated that my face was used as a template for Hasbro's successive line of My Little Pony's. Well I refused to be bullied. In fact, I refuse to let anyone be bullied. Today I want to take it one step further, I would like to hereby pledge to ban dodgeball at McKinnely High. Since it's invention in 1831 by Silas W. Mangoold (**A/N- No idea how to spell that and couldn't find it online, sorry!) **dodgeball has been used as a schoolyard instrument of supression. It's violent, it's painful, it's humiliating. And I believe that is an equivilent to modern day stoning. Let's end dodgeball at McKinnely high and send a strong message that violence isn't okay."

He finished his speech, looking around at the audience. It surprised me how many people stood up and clapped for him. I figured most of his speach was directed to Santana since he stared at her most of the time, but what he said really got me thinking. Rachel stood up, and people stopped cheering immediately. It was almost sad how much people hate her, and It kind of made me feel guilty for always being so mean to her.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry, and I have campaigned for president on a crusade for school book covers, a plan to save the school thousands of dollars. While I still consider this plan an inspired stroke of political genious, I hereby withdraw my candidacy and urge you all to vote for Kurt Hummel. He's the only candidate here today who never went negative. He's the one who deserves to be president. That's why i'm casting my vote for Kurt Hummel. Vote Hummel McKinnely, vote for Kurt." She looked away awkwardly while everyone clapped. I'm sure it was the first audience that ever cheered for her talking. But what she said makes sense, and kind of made me second guess who I wanted to put my vote in for. The sad part about Brittany's pledge, is that she'd actually do it.

"Shelby pick up. Shelby? Answer the damn phone..." I muttered to myself as the phone went to voicemail a third time. I went downstairs, got a glass of water and went back up. I dialed Shelby's number again, waiting desperately for her to answer.

"Hey Shelby, It's Quinn. Again. PLEASE call me back. Like now. As soon as you can. Please. Bye." I said into the voicemail. I was beyond frustrated by now. I threw my phone at the wall, kicking my bed. Why wasn't she answering the phone? I texted her twice, called her 4 times, and by then I was just done waiting. I made an addition to my list, and I just couldn't wait any longer to see if it would work.

Ways to get my baby back

Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

Call CPS on Shelby

Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

Join the Troubletones

Make Shelby's life miserable, so she can't handle dealing with a child

Be extra nice to Shelby so she lets me spend more time with Beth

Go to Shelby's house, and talk/fight/reason/negotiate

I got in my car, and subconciously drove to Shelby's apartment, just trying to clear my mind so I wasn't in a bad mood when I got there. I'm getting Beth back...something WILL go down in that house, whether I end up on great terms with Shelby or I end up going off on her, something is going down tonight in that house, good or bad. And I'm getting Beth back, despite what anyone said to me.

I pulled up to Shelby's house, grabbing the box out of the passenger seat and heading up to her porch. After knocking for what felt like forever, she answered the door. I couldn't beleive how annoyed she looked to see me. It kind of hurt to see that look on her face when she saw me. Is that what she thought of me? People used to practically bow when they saw me 2 years ago...

"Hi." I smiled at her, my sweet innocent smile. She didn't turn around, so I continued,

"I was in the neighborhood so I thought i'd drop this off for Beth.." I told her, indicating the pink box in my hand. I shut the door behind me as Shelby said,

"I just got her down." Shelby explained to me.

"I left a bunch of voicemails trying to find a good time to come by...and you never gave me a straight answer about when I could join the troubletones.." I smiled at her again, thinking if I started off nice, maybe we'd get somewhere with this.

"I don't think it's a very good idea." Shelby didn't look at me. I wanted to yell, but I knew we'd get no where. So instead, I just kept smiling.

"Oh, Mr. Schuester won't miss me." I tried to joke, but she wasn't in a good mood apparently.

"I reached out to you. I came back here so that you and my daughter could have a relationship." She told me. I looked at her confused, where was she going with this? She started to explain,

"Oh please. I know all about the hot sauce, and the book, and everything else you planted here. You think they were just going to come here and find those things and hand my baby over to you?" That's what got me mad. Like scary Quinn mad. Her baby? She didn't carry Beth around inside her for 9 months. She didn't lose everything she had for that one precious life. She didn't give everything to Beth like I did, she didn't love Beth like I do.

"She's my baby." I corrected her.

" You have no idea what it means to be a mother! It's not about who's body she comes out of! It's about excepting the fact that you don't matter anymore, that your feelings, and your life, and your body? They all come second to making sure that that child is happy, and safe." She snapped at me. I was blinded by anger. Not like Shelby where she had to show it by getting in my face. I was past that. She thought that just because I didn't raise Beth I dont care about her? I couldn't move I was so mad. And I probably shouldn't have said what I did, but I couldnt help it.

"Is that why you gave yours up for money? At lease I did what I thought was best for my baby. You were just a cash whore!" I regretted what I said the moment it came out of my mouth, but I couldn't take it back, and it was sort of true. It seemed like everything in the room stopped, like the world stopped spinning, my blood stopped pumping. I couldn't even let a breath out until Shelby broke the silence with,

"I don't feel comfortable with you being around Beth anymore." She opened the front door, telling me to leave. I couldn't beleive what I just did. I wouldn't get to see Beth anymore. I couldn't move, I felt like crying but I was too stunned for the tears to come.

"Is Puck going to get to see her?" My voice was shaking, but I had to know this before I could leave. When she didn't say anything, I asked,

"Was he the one who told -" She didn't even let me finish.

"Were done here." She said, with such an edge to her voice it sort of scared me.

"I hope you see this as a wake-up call. Just because you take out your nose ring, dye your hair blonde again, it doesnt make you any less lost." She told me as I walked out her front door, leaving the gift for Beth on the table by the door. I didn't beleive what just happened, what I said to Shelby and what she said to me. It killed me inside and made me do something I regret more than anything.

Once I got home, I dug out the pills I left hidden in my cabinets and swallowed a few. I dropped the bottle realizing what I did. I couldn't even pick up the bottle to read what drug I just forced down my throat. Whatever it was, I knew it wasn't legal. And I probably just took more at once than I had in a long time. I started to feel the effects almost right away. I burried my head in my pillows, wanting everything to just stop. I couldn't take all of this anymore.

!

I searched for my phone in the dark. I could feel it vibrating but I couldn't find it on my bed. The past few days were pure torture, but I finally managed to throw away the drugs, even if it was getting harder since my little relapse after visiting Shelby. Now I was just depressed,ditched school since then, but at least I wasn't high. I found my phone and it shocked me to see Santana calling me.

"Hello?" I answered, confused.

"Quinn." She just said my name before crying so much I couldn't understand anything she was saying to me.

"Santana, calm down...what do want?"

"Can you come get me?" I barely understood what she was saying through her sobbing.

"What? Why?"

"Just come pick me up!"

"Where are you?"

"School."

"Can't you drive?"

"You know what, nevermind. I don't want your help anyways."

"Fine, I'll be there in like 10 minutes." I could hear her sobbing in the background, not even able to say bye...What the hell happened today? I threw on a pair of shoes and drove to the school to pick Santana up, wondering what on Earth happened.

"Santana, what is going on?" I asked her, when I saw her sitting on a brick wall in front of the school, just staring at her shadow, silent tears running down her face."

"They know!" She told me, walking to my car without even seeing if I was coming behind her.

"What? Who knows what?" I asked, more confused than before as I started the car.

She just started crying again, so I drove back to my house in silence, figuring maybe she'd talk there.

"Santana, your gonna have to tell me what happened..."

"You know how you said you overheard what Finn said to me?"

"Yeah..."

"Well Reggie the sauce Salazar has a neice at this school who overheard it to."

"I still don't get it..." That's when she started crying again.

"Santana! Just explain what happened okay? "

"Becky called me into Sue's office, and Mr. Schue and Kurts dad were there. And Sue kept apologizing, saying she set the tone for this campaign and now it was gonna bite her in the ass or something like that, involving chickens. And then she told me that Salazars neice overheard what Finn said to me, and that he decided to use that to get Sue back. He mad a campaign comercial. And it was asking why Sue was letting a..letting me be the Cheerio captain, and had pictures of me. And rainbows and the girl on girl sign, it basically outted me Q. And he plans on airing the comercial." If I hadn't known her so long, I wouldn't have understood a word she said through all the crying. I just stood there in shock. How could something like this happen? I spent the past few days feeling depressed over stuff that doesn't even matter, and this is what she's dealing with? I guess Santana was always stronger than me, even if it didn't seem like it.

"Oh my god.. Santana I'm so sorry." I didn't know what else to say. She just shook her head, burrying her head in her knees, still crying. Part of me wondered how long it would take for her to run out of tears.

"What do I do?" She asked me after a while. I didn't even know how to answer it. Normally, I'd joke about plotting Finns death or something to make her feel better, but knowing Santana she'd actually hurt him, and I didn't want Finns death or serious injury to lead back to me...so instead I just shook my head and said the dumbest thing ever,

"Talk to someone?" I tried. She looked at me like I was stupid.

"You've known me for how long Quinn? _Talking to people _doesn't solve my problems. Getting even does."

"Santana don't do anything to bad to Finn, this isn't his fault."

"Yes it is! If he never would have said anything then-"

"Then what? You'd still be so far in the closet that nothing would ever get you out?"

"Maybe, but at least I wouldn't be basically FORCED out! I don't even know how Finn knew!"

"Santana, you can be in the bitchiest mood ever, and all Britt has to do is look at you to smile. You guys are always together, you pretty much hate every boyfriend she has, and don't forget that Finn's brother is gay...Kurt and Blaine have probably known since you guys sang landslide and just knew better than to say anything."

"But why did Finn have to say it in a crowded hallway!"

"You told him you wanted to put a stint in his boobs to light a manora for 8 magical nights and that he looks like a taco addict that had one too many back alley liposuctions..."

"Yeah, that was pretty good huh?" She almost laughed, wiping her eyes.

"Where do you come up with these things?" I laughed to her.

"I hate everyone and everything, so its just easy. I mean, sometimes dont you say really bitchy things that arent true when your pissed?"

"Yeah, I called Shelby a cash whore a few days ago."

"See?" She almost smiled.

"Imagine feeling like that all the time...Like you hate everyone. It's just easy to say mean things."

"Why do you hate everyone then?"

"Honestly? Because I had built up feelings inside me for years, forced to date all these guys I couldn't stand while I was secretly in love with my best friend which is against everything I've ever been taught. It wasn't so much as hating everyone else. I hated me and took it out on everyone because I didn't know what anything meant. Then Ms. Holliday helped me figure it out...I'm not sure if it got better after that or not ...sometimes I wish I just didn't know what all these feelings meant. But when I'm with Britt it's like nothing else, and I'm glad that I still have her because I think I was pushing her away before I knew all this about myself. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Britt too."

"Santana, you just told me more about yourself right now than you have the past 4 years I've known you."

"Tell anyone and I'll still go all Lima Heights on your ass." She threatened. I shook my head, rolling my eyes at her.

"I think I've always known...about you and Britt. I mean, back when the 3 of us were still super close, it was always you two and I was the 3rd wheel. We'd watch a movie , and you two would fall asleep with eachother on the couch leaving me to the floor. We'd have a sleep over, and you two got the bed, leaving me on the floor. You practically beg to be dared to kiss when you play truth or dare and you guys start making out long before your as drunk as you say you are. I think I've always known and that's why it didn't surprise me."

"Yeah, well this nice talk is kind of creeping me out, so I'm gonna go back to school for our mash-up, which is so much better than what you did, by the way. You should come with the rest of the glee kids, watch us kick your ass, just like we will at sectionals." She told me, being her normal bitchy self.

"And do not tell anyone about this, got it?" She told me, with a threatening tone in her voice. That nice girl streak didn't last long. I drove her back to the school, feeling alot better than before. Santana was going through alot more than me, and if she could deal with it, I could too.

! 

Troubletones:

"_Oooh oh, oooh oh..."_

Mercedes:  
><em>"She, she ain't real She ain't gon' be able to love you like I will. Sure, she's got it all, But baby is that really what you want? <em>

_ Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds She made a fool out of you and, boy, she's bringing you down She made your heart melt but you're cold to the core Now rumour has it, she ain't got your love anymore..."_

Brittany and Troubletones:  
><em> Rumour has it (oooh-oh) (Rumour) Rumour has it (oooh-oh) (Rumour) Rumour has it (oooh-oh) (Rumour) Rumour has it (oooh-oh) (Rumour)<em>

Santana:

_"Don't forget me, I beg! I remember You said! ...I heard that you settled down That you found a girl and you're married now ..I heard that your dreams came true Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you..."_

Troubletones:

_"Woooah, Rumour has it Rumour has it, Rumour has it Yeah Baby"_

Santana:

_"Don't forget me, I beg! I remember, you said!"_

Mercedes and the Troubletones:

_ "Never mind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you two!_

Santana:

"_Don't forget me, I beg! I remember, you said!_

Mercedes:

"_Sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead! _

Santana:

"_Sometimes is lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead..."_

__

_!  
><em> 

They did way better than us. The song was amazing and the vocals were great, the dancing was awesome, and it actually worried me about sectionals. But before I started thinking about that, I noticed Finn lean and whisper something to Rachel. Santana jumped off the stage and looked directly at Finn, drawing everyones attention.

"What did you just say to her!" Her voice cracked and she sounded like she might start crying again, great.

"I said I thought you were great?" Finn told her, confused.

"No your lying." Santana shook her head. They can me _scary Quinn?_ Santana makes me look like a teddy bear right now...

"No, he literally just said that.." Rachel looked more confused than ever.

"Tell her too? Everyone's gonna know now, because of you!" She pointed her finger at him. Mr. Schue was making his way over to her, in case she decided to go all Lima Heights on him.

"The whole school already knows! And they don't care." Finn told her.

"Not just the school, you idiot. Everyone!" She yelled at him. He seemed even more confused than ever.

"What are you talking-" She didnt let him finish. She slapped him, _hard, _right in the face.__

_!_

**A/N-Thanks for reading! Sorry is was like crazy long compared to the other ones aha ;b PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW! REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ! xD and alsooo..the songs were:**

**Puck: Hot For Teacher- Van Halen**

**Mr. Schue and Shelby: You and I/You and I- Lady Gaga/Eddie Rabbitt and Crystal Gayle**

**Finn w/ New directions & Santana w/ troubletones: Hit Me with your best shot/One way or anotther- Pat Benatar/Blondie**

**Quinn: When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne**

**New Directions: Make My Dreams Come True- Hall & Oats**

**Santana & Mercedes w/ Troubletones- Rumour has it/someone like you- Adele**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- The last chapter was super long, I know, and sorry but this one might be too, ...well enjoy the story, and thank you MissPrincessGleexo for the idea! so yeah if you have ANYTHING to say PLEASE REVIEW! aha, alright, enjoy the story and let me know what you think of the chapter (: also, sorry i went like months without updating i was grounded and just got my laptop back like Friday d:**

_**Episode 7: I Kissed a Girl**_

No one said anything. No one moved, or closed their gaping mouths. I'm pretty sure no one even breathed. They just stared, shocked, at Santana as Mr. Schue and Shelby took her and Finn to see Figgins.

"Did she really just..." Tina started, coming out of her shock.

"Uh huh." Mercedes replied, her mouth still hanging open in surprise. I mean, yeah, sure. Santana got in fights all the time, including last year when she beat me up for telling Sue about her boob job. Or when she tried to take down Lauren for steeling Puck from her. But it never had so much emotion involved. I could almost feel the anger and sadness coming from her. Usually, she beat people up to prove a point: she was better than them. This was different though, she slapped Finn because she was overcome with emotions she couldn't handle. Part of me thought he sort of deserved it, but then again, it wasn't his fault Santana was so damn insecure about herself.

Nobody could figure out what just happened, why Santana randomly slapped Finn in the face...it didn't make sense.

!

I gotta say, Britt was doing a great job with her campaign...I mean, pixie sticks? They were sugary and delicious! Who doesn't like pixie sticks? I hadn't had that many pixie sticks in a long time...but they sure did help me keep from falling asleep in class.

"Quinn, pixie stick?" Britt asked, as I made my way to the choir room. I smiled and nodded, taking my 3rd one of the day. Who knew bribing a bunch of 17-18 year olds with candy would work so good? I didn't notice anything weird until I sat down and saw Finn standing where Mr. Schue usually is, and Mr. Schue seated, looking at Finn confused. Once everyone came in, he started, and I was actually surprsied Santana let him go for this.

"Once a family, always a family, right guys? Even after Kurt left, we took him back, because once your a part of this family, you always are. We let Santana back in after she blew up the piano, let Quinn back in after she went kinda crazy, no offense Quinn. Kurt came back after getting bullied really bad, Rachel came back after quitting for the musical So, family's help eachother, no matter what, because family is always there for eachother when they do stupid things and can't get themselves out of stupid situations. And even though she isn't with us right now, I'd like to do something to help someone in our family." Finn told us. We all stared at him, extremely confused.

"Santana." He told us, and that's when the talking started.

"Finn, the thing with Figgins was weird, helping her not get suspended, but now? Whats your angle?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Why do you want to help her after she slapped you?" Mike put in there.

"I don't think we can help her stop being a bitch. That's who she is." Artie told Finn, thinking _that's _what she needed help with.

"It's not who she is, she's using that to cover up who she is because she's too insecure about herself, so she acts like a bitch to everyone else instead. Guys, just hear me out..."

"Why should we help our competition right before sectionals?" Tina asked him.

"Why should we help Santana after what she did to Rory?" Kurt asked.

"You said it yourself Kurt. Other people might to this to us, but we don't do it to eachother. We don't turn our backs on eachother when we can help! Rachel, you said this was our senior year, let's make it count. So even if we don't win sectionals, wouldn't you like to say you saved somebody's life? I really think she might hurt herself if we don't help her. She's taking it all out on other people, but soon that won't be enough and I'm really afraid she's gonna do something to herself. Let's do something important! Let's make a difference. Just listen...I have an idea that could be our lesson for the week and help Santana, if it's okay with you Mr. Schue."

"I still don't think we should do this." Artie said.

"You just don't like her." I pointed out.

"Well yeah, but So? I think this is a bad idea right before sectionals." Artie continued.

"Yeah Finn. I agree. Helping someone is really important, but Santana's really rude, and I don't think we should throw away our shots at sectionals to help her with something that no one even knows whats going on. I think we whould wait." Blaine told him.

"We don't have that kind of time. We need to do this before Salazar's commercial. Mr. Schue, you saw the commercial! I didn't, but from how shaken up Santana was, I'm guessing it was bad. Do you want to make her go through that alone?" Finn guilt tripped Mr. Schue.

"Okay, if I can convince Shelby then yeah, we'll go for it. You really think she'd hurt herself though Finn? If she's not in any immediate danger, then I think we should wait, but I still carea about Santana, and helping her comes before singing at sectionals. I'll try and get Shelby to go for it."

"Go for what?" Rachel asked, still not sure what was going on,

"You'll see next glee rehearsal." FInn explained.

"What about Salazars commercial?" Kurt asked, wondering what that was.

"Reggie "the sauce" Salazar made a commercial to get back at Sue...and it will...uh, ruin Santana's reputation? " FInn tried to tell us without actually TELLING us.

"She needs her reputation ruined! She ruined all of ours! Especially Quinns." Tina pointed out, not sure where to go with that.

"Yeah...um..Mr. Schue?" Finn said, looking dumber than usual and not quite sure what to say.

"I don't feel comfortable telling you guys this. I'm a teacher, we're not legally allowed to just jump in our students private lifes like this..." Mr. Schue said, but I think he made up the part about it being illegal. This was making me mad. Santana was my best friend for a while, even if she did hate my guts once Freshman year started, and we plotted ways to ruin eachothers lives, we were really good friends, and Santana deserved better.

"Really guys? You want to help her but you can't even say it out loud?" I jumped in, looking at them. Finn couldn't just say it?

"You know?" Finn asked, shocked.

"I've known for years, Finn. I think I knew before she did."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It wasn't my place to."

"Even after all she did to you? You hated her."

"We were friends for a long time Finn, I wasn't going to do that to her. No one deserved that. That's past being a bitch. Even Santana wouldn't go that far." I told him, probably making him feel even more guilty, but I gave up caring about Finn's feelings when he dumped me for Rachel. After a funeral.

"Can someone please explain what you guys are talking about?" Rachel whined.

"Santana...she's...She loves Brittany. Like, she's IN love with Brittany."

"Santana's...? No way." Blaine asked, shocked, not even able to finish.

"That's why she slapped me." FInn explained to us, although he didn't do a very good job elaborating.

"She slapped you, because she's a lesbian? _Whaat?_" Blaine's expression was priceless.

"No!" I looked at him like he was crazy.

"I called her out on it in the hallway, saying she's in love with Brittany and afraid Britt might not love her back, and Salazars neice heard and told him, so he made a commercial to get back at Sue, that would out her." Finn explained.

"Sue's a lesbian too?" Mike gasped, shocked.

"NO!" I repeated.

"The comercial will out Santana! It's just getting back at Sue, saying she's supporting a lesbian head cheerio!" Mr. Schue tried to clear it up

"So she's not a lesbian?" Mike Mercedes asked.

"No!" I answered, _again._

"But Santana is?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. And she's been in love with Brittany for years now." Finn said.

"_What?" _Most of the class said in unison.

"_Brittany?_" Artie sounded shocked, but looked like he was finally making sense of how their relationship took a wrong turn.

"Dude, you lost your virginity to a lesbian." Puck told him.

"So did you." Finn pointed out. I tried to hold in a laugh. I mean, that was before Santana really knew she was a lesbian. This was in like 8th grade, when she first slept with Puck. But, of course that would be the first thing Puck thought of. It just made Rachel look mad though. Puck stopped talking after that.

"Guys! Enough Finn, can you explain your idea to the class? Without Puck making comments?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Okay, so I'm thinking we should do a lady music week! Music created by ladies for ladies." Finn looked impressed with his idea. The rest of us looked horrified, including Mr. Schue. I now nominate Finn as the glee member with the worst idea's. _Congratulations Finn, you topped your girlfriend! This might actually be worse than Run Joey Run..._

"I don't think Santana's gonna go for that.." I told him, not sure of how to react to his crazy idea. I guess I'm not the only one who started coming slightly unhinged this year.

"I've already got that taken care of. But I think if we pull this off, we could really help her. You of all people should know what that feels like Quinn. What if someone announced to the entire school, the whole state, that you were pregnant because someone overheard you tell me? Imagine how that would feel if everyone knew before you were able to except it yourself? I I don't want her to have to go through that, because families don't do that to eachother." Finn told me. I sank back into my chair. I'd already thought about that, he didn't need to bring it up in front of the class.

"Or maybe your just starting to feel guilty." Artie added, obvioiusly still hung up on the whole Santana and _Brittany _thing.

"Well yeah, I feel guilty, this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me. But now we have the chance to help out someone, one of us, and I can't do it without you all." Finn said to us.

"Santana isn't _one of us_, she isn't an outcast like us, she doesn't get teased and slushied like the rest of us! She's the most popular girl in school ..." Rachel argued, still looking mad that Puck brought up the whole Finn sleeping with Santana ordeal that was cleared up last year.

"She won't be once that commercials airs. We can't change people finding out, but we can change how Santana deals with it. She's gonna need us, and we can't just turn our backs on her at a time like this...No offense Quinn, but Rachel, Quinn was just as much of a bitch as Santana, and you still were the one that wanted to help her through her pregnancy the most! You just don't like her. We can't turn Santana down..." I was just starting to notice how dramatic Finn really is...

"I'm for it. It's not like we need to practice for sectionals. We're losing either way, so let's do something important this year." Puck said without looking up.

"So, let's vote. Who's wants to do this?" Finn asked. I looked around. Rachel had her hand raised, but looked annoyed anyways. Puck had his hand up, as well as Kurt, Tina, Mike, Blaine, Rory, and I. Artie was just staring at the floor, still muttering,

"Santana? And _Brittany? Brittany?_" To himself, still looking extremely confused...

"Okay, we're doing it then. Songs for ladies, by ladies, about ladies." Finn said the the class. I tried not to laugh.

"Can you talk to Shelby?" He asked Mr. Schue. Mr. Schue nodded.

"Thanks!" Finn told Mr. Schue, going back to his seat to get his stuff, since the bell was just about to ring.

!

!

Ways To Get My Baby Back

evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

2. Call CPS on Shelby

3. Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

4.Join the Troubletones

5.Make Shelby's life miserable, so she can't handle dealing with a child

6. Be extra nice to Shelby so she lets me spend more time with Beth

7. Go to Shelby's house, and talk/fight/reason/negotiate

Calling Shelby a cash whore was not on my list, but it kind of happened anyways, and ruined all chances of me getting to see Beth. So now this list was sort of pointless, not like it helped in the first place, but now I had absolutely no hope of getting to see _my _daughter. This sucked. And Puck was still getting to see her, which was not fair at all. I had to come up with something to get Beth back...I did NOT want to end up the leader of the Skanks or something like that again. But the idea just kept coming back to my mind...everything was _so_ easy back then...

I convinced myself that things weren't easy back then. While I was in the skanks, things sucked and the school hated me..but at least then I didn't care. Great, this back and forth thing with Beth was going to make my physiological health drop even more than it had in the past few weeks. Scary Quinn? Forget it, now they'd call me 'Crazy Quinn'. I mean, I really was going crazy wasn't I? But honestly, some part of me didn't really care. At least people payed attention to me...I knew it was so wrong to think that though. So to keep me focused on not going even more crazy, I decided to continue of thinking of ways to take down Shelby Corcaron.

!

!

"Quinn!" Brittany's panicked voice shouted on the other side of the phone.

"Calm down Britt, okay? It's not like she's never just not showed up at your house before." I tried to tell her, to calm her down.

"But this is different." She whined.

"Okay, just come over alright?"

"Okay I'll be there soon." She said to me. I listened as she shuffled around for her car keys, before I realized she wasn't going to hang up the phone, so I hung up first, waiting for her to show up. Brittany was freaking out because Santana was supposed to come over to her house last night after school, and didn't show. She called Puck to see if she ended up at his house, but she wasn't there. She wasn't at her house either, and her parents were under the impression that she was with Brittany. So Britt covered for Santana, saying she was at my house, and went back home, thinking maybe she went out somewhere and would come over after. She ended up falling asleep, and when Santana was MIA in the morning, she decided she'd go to school and see if Santana was there, but by the time school got out, Britt realized Santana wasn't coming, and called me freaking out. I didn't get what the problem was, Santana disappeared to random places all the time, usually to random guys houses...I don't know how I managed to be the one to get pregnant...Santana was just as bad as Puck, if not worse, when it came to being a "sex shark". Santana just had better reasons than Puck did. But I wasn't worried, and I certainly didn't want to be dealing with her problems right now. Everyone was all about helping Santana...Santana doesn't give a damn whether they help her or not! Everyone just turned their backs on me, and my problem was way worse. They worried Santana _might _do somethings. Might! I _did_!. I was on drugs for months, I went physco crazy, and no one even took a second look. I was cutting myself, I thought about suicide for a little while, but, you know, the whole being religious thing kind of canceled that option out right away. If I was going to live in hell, I wasn't going there when I died too. I was way nicer to everyone than Santana, why do they care about her problem so much? No one but _Santana _is in the way of what _Santana _wants! She can solve all her problems easy. But me? I can't just announce to the world I want Beth back and she'll be on my doorstep the next morning. It's different, and it pisses me off that everyone is so anxious to help Santana, and no one even thinks about helping me. And not only that, but I'm _expected _to help Santana too! Like I don't have enough problems of my own to deal with. I lost track of time, busy yelling about random things to no one, and almost fell off the couch when the door bell rang. I hadn't even made it to the door before she started knocking.

"Brittany, chill out! I'm coming!" I yelled, pulling shoes on and grabbing my car keys off the counter.

"Sorry Quinn. I'm just worried." She said to me, and I could tell by the look on her face that she really was worried.

"Why me?"

"What?" Britt looked more confused than ever.

"Well, like, why'd you call me? Why didn't you call Puck or any of the other Glee kids? Why me?"

"I thought if we found where she went, she'd listen to you the best."

"Why? She kinda hates me Britt."

"Yeah, but you're the only one that knows...that has known."

"Known what?" I really didn't understand what she was trying to say.

"About.._us." _She looked down, her cheeks slightly red. And that's when I got what she meant.

"Mr. Schue knows. Finn knows."

"Mr. Schue is a teacher, and she finds him extremely annoying. And she blames Finn for everything that's happened, so that wouldn't have been a good idea either. I was just going to take Lord Tubbington, but I caught him smoking again, so I had to ground him." I decided to ignore the part about her smoking cat, and just reply,

"Well it is kind of Finn's fault..I'd blame him too. And Rachel. Just cause she's an annoying little hobbit."

"She's not that bad." Brittany tried half-heatedly to defend her. I rolled my eyes. After a few minutes of driving, Britt seemed to realize that I actually was driving _somewhere._

"How do you know where you're going?" She looked confused, as we drove past a few run down apartments.

"Wild guess." Her face scrunched up, like she was saying "huh?" without actually saying it. I locked the doors (we were in a bad neighborhood, okay?) and said,

"I know it may not seem like it now, but for a while, Santana really was my best friend. And then freshman year, she met you, and I became the third wheel. And by sophomore year, she wanted me dead. But in middle school, she really was my best friend. She wasn't nearly as much of a bitch, she was a little, but not like she is now. We were really close, and Santana still had a lot of the same problems then, that she does now. She'd always end up at the same dump with a different guy, at least 7 years older than her, which was extremely disguising by the way, and I would have to show up and walk her home cause she had to many drinks to know her own name. I walked over here at least once a week, I'll never forget the way over here, and I don't think Santana will either. Just a wild guess, she might've remembered this dumpy bar and found her way back here." Britt looked at my, surprised, but just nodded. We finally pulled up to a run down building, with burnt out signs and a few beat up cars parked in front.

"Stay here Britt. They probably won't let you in." I said to her.

"Why not?" She looked upset.

"Cause' you don't look 21!" I told her.

"Neither do you!" She argued.

"But I look older than you..." I tried to say.

"No you don't!" She said to me.

"Aw ladies, relax, there's plenty of room for both of you." A deep voice said from behind me.

"Lenny?" I said, shocked. He was the doorman from years ago, and he looked the same.

"Quinn?" He looked surprised to see me back here.

"Yeah, look, I'm here for the same reason I used to show up all those years ago."

"Wow, so that was the same girl..." He said, talking about Santana. Then he noticed Brittany.

"Hmm, who's your friend over here?" He asked, suggestively. I rolled my eyes, completely grossed out.

"Taken." I replied.

"Sort of." Britt said, without realizing what she was really saying.

"Sort of? Who do I have to fight?" He joked. Then he turned around and found himself face to face with an angry _drunk_ Santana.

"Me. Look, I don't got a problem going all Lima Heights on your ass, but you gotta be alright with hittin' a girl." She said, taking out her earings like they were really going to fight. I tried not to laugh. This guy was huge. Like _huge._ If she couldn't take Lauren Zizes, she couldn't take this guy. He was like 10x her size...

"Wait..." Lenny said, pointing between them.

"Sort of." I replied again, grabbing Santana's arm and pulling her to my car. It'd be a lot easier to get her home this time, since I actually had a car. Dragging a drunk 14 year old all the way across town was a lot harder than it sounded. Especially when that drunk 14 year old was a pissed off Santana Lopez. Yeah, driving would be a lot easier, but the pissed off Santana Lopez was exactly the same. Only now, she could drive. And really wanted too. She had also discovered in the past four years that hitting and hair pulling are effective ways of getting someones hands off the steering wheel. We weren't half way home before I had one hand on Santana's wrist, the other on the steering wheel, and she had one hand holding a fist full of my hair and the other hand trying to grab my hand off the steering wheel. She had also discovered that screaming insulting things to me in Spanish, a language I did not understand, would result in me screaming insulting things to her in English, a language I hoped she understood. I don't know how Brittany managed to sit next to Santana in the back seat, looking out the window like Santana wasn't trying to scalp me and crash my car.

"Enough about the lizard baby!" I screamed, taking one hand off the wheel to try to push her into the back seat.

"Vete a la mierda Quinn Fabray! Usted toma todo de mí, me estaba divirtiendo y que se presentan y que echarlo todo a perder! ¡Te odio!" (**A/N- Translation: "Fuck you Quinn Fabray! You take everything from me, I was having fun and you show up and you ruin everything! I hate you!" Spanish speakers, I'm sorry if this is incorrect, I used Google translate, because I obviously do not speak Spanish. Aha.)**

"What the hell are you saying! OW! Get off of me!" I yelled, as she swung a leg around to the front seat, pulling my hair even harder.

"Déjame conducir, o me voy a ir a hasta Lima Heights en el culo ahora Q!" (**A/N: Translation: "Let me drive,or I'm going to go all Lima heights on your ass right now Q!")** She yelled again.

"Santana! I don't- ow!- know what the hell you are saying ! Ouch, fuck! Let go!-" I paused, smacking her hand off of the steering wheel.

"Go all Lima Heights on me! See who gets you home then!" I told her, since "Lima Heights" was the only thing I understood her saying. After almost 30 painful minutes of the fighting, yelling, and hair pulling, we arrived at my house. By then I was ready to lock Santana in my basement until my head stopped throbbing from all of her hair pulling. Deciding that, no matter how mad at her I was, locking her in my basement (did I even _have _basement?) wouldn't be very helpful, I brought her in the house and forced her to take down at least a gallon of water instead. She passed out on my couch, and I was so tempted to cut her hair, or something, but it seemed too immature so I decided better of it.

"See Quinn, I told you that we needed to go find her. She could've been at that place all night, drinking till Penny-"

"Lenny." I corrected.

"Whatever. Till Lenny tried to fight her for me and then she would've had no where to go!" Britt's logic made no sense whatsoever. I just nodded, thinking it was better to agree than ask questions.

"Britt, why don't you go home? It's getting late, it's dark and I don't want your parents to think I kidnapped you _and _Santana." I told her, looking at the clock. It was past 10.

"What about her?" Britt said, worried, indicating Santana.

"She can stay here, you're parents are gonna ask a lot of questions, but my mom isn't gonna be home tonight, she's got to pick up an extra shift tonight since she's missing Friday for the christian wine tasting cruise. I'll call you in the morning okay?" I said, not even believing the words that came out of my mouth. She just tried to kill me, and now I'm letting her sleep in my house. Great. This was all part of helping her though. Finn would be so proud. But I knew before the time even came that Santana would make sure I never said a word of this to anyone. I threw a pillow at her, making her shoot her head up. She glared at me, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think her eyes were turning red. She looked like a demon Santana right now.

"Upstairs." I pointed, letting her no to get off the couch. If she was going to throw up, it wasn't going to be on my couch.

"Where's Britt?" She sat up, looking around.

"She went home a few minutes ago." She nodded her head, rubbing her eyes, and standing up. What a mood change. Just an hour ago she was ripping the hair off my head. It took her a long time to get up the stairs without falling down, but by the time she did, she fell onto my bed and went to sleep. Great, I guess that means I get the floor. This day was just going from bad to worse. If she threw up in my bed, it'd be her getting the crap beat out of her tomorrow. I finally got all settled down, nice and warm, as comfortable as I'd get on the floor. And just as I was about to go to bed,

"NO!" Santana shouted in her sleep, flinging an arm up and smacking at something that wasn't there. I sighed, this was going to be a long night.

"Stop!" She shouted again. I rubbed my eyes, seriously considering going to sleep in my mom's bed.

!

!

I watched in silence as the Troubletones filed in the choir room. Mercedes looked confused, Britt was smiling at us, probably happy to see us all. Sugar just looked annoyed. And Santana looked terrified. She was rubbing her hands together and not making eye contact with anyone. I could tell her eyes were still a little bit blood shot from last night, but I didn't say anything. Once everyone took their seats, Finn stood up and walked over to the white board, writing _Lady Music Week_ across the board in black.

"Can someone tell us what's going on please?" Mercedes whined. I guessed she asked Shelby already, and Shelby refused to say anything.

"This week, the Troubletones and New Directions will both be singing music created by ladies and for ladies." Finn started to explain.

"Oh hell no." Santana said instantly. _Told you so_, I thought, biting my lip to keep me from saying it out loud. Finn didn't believe me when I told him Santana wouldn't be for it...who was right? Me. Yeah, I like to gloat.

"Next week all of us will be going to sectionals, and one of us is probably going to win. But, Santana, we're worried about you.

"Worry about yourself, Fetus Face." She snapped back. I tried not to laugh at her comeback, I mean, after all I did want to help her.

"Glee's about learning how to except yourself for who you are, no matter what other people think. And that's what all this music is about." Finn tried again.

"So, wait, I don't even get a say in this? Not cool." Santana looked pissed off, but I could tell she was just scared.

"Everybody in this room knows about you and Brittany." Finn started. _They do now,_ I thought. And judging by the looks on a few of their faces, some of them, like Sugar Motta for example, did not know about her and Brittany, and now looked more confused than Finn and Brittany combined.

"And we don't judge you for it. We celebrate it. Because it's who you are. Look, I know not everybody outside of this room is as accepting and cool, but we're doing this assignment this week so that you know in this rotten stinking world that you at least have a group of people that will support your choice to be whoever you want to be. That's it. That's what we're doing here." He told her. When she didn't say anything, he turned around to Blaine and Kurt.

"Blaine, Kurt." He sounded defeated.

"Santana, Kurt and I have a song we like to sing to each other in the car and we'd like to sing that for your right now." Blaine tried, but Santana hates him for no reason whatsoever, so instead of just ignoring him like she did Finn, she snapped,

"Well there's nothing I'd love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further staging a Geller-vention **(A/N: Sorry, I have NO clue what that means, therefore I have NO clue how to spell that )x sorry!)** for Blaine, than singing lady music."

"I know it's hard. It was hard for me too. But you can get through this." Kurt jumped in.

"If you would just stop being so defensive..." Blaine added.

"I'm trying, but your hideous bow ties are provoking me." Santana said over him.

"Wait, are we talking lady on lady, or girl on girl? Cause there's a big difference.." Puck said. Santana just stared in front of her, and Brittany shook her head.

"Puck? Focus. Okay?" Mr. Schue jumped in. "Kurt, Blaine, why don't you..uh, kick us off with what you've got. "

_ "Made a wrong turn, Once or twice, Dug my way out, Blood and fire bad decisions, That's alright Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, Miss "No way it's all good" It didn't slow me down. Mistaken, Always second guessing Underestimated, Look I'm still around. Pretty pretty, please Don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than...Less than perfect. Pretty pretty please! If you ever ever feel Like you're nothing You are perfect, To me. You're so mean When you talk 'Bout yourself, You are wrong. Change the voices, In your head, Make them like you Instead. So complicated Look how big you'll make it Feel with so much hatred Such a tired game It's enough ! I've done all i can think of Chase down all my demons ,And see you do the same. Ohh, ohh ! Pretty pretty, please Don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than...less than perfect. Pretty pretty please ! If you ever ever feel Like you're nothing You are perfect...The whole world scared, while i swallowed the fear. The only thing i should be drinkin' is an iced cold beer So cool in line, and we try try try, But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time. Done looking for the critics cause they're everywhere,They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair. Exchange yourselves, and we do it all the time. Why do we do that ? Why do I do that ? Why do i do that ? Yeah ! Ohh ! Oh pretty pretty please ! Pretty pretty, please Don't you ever ever feel Like you're less than...Less than perfect. Pretty pretty please ! If you ever ever feel Like you're nothing You're perfect, you're perfect to me ! Pretty pretty, please Don't you ever ever feel Like you're nothing You are perfect, to me You are perfect, to me !"_

Everybody clapped, looking at Santana to see what she would say. I knew she liked it, she was holding back a smile the entire song. But I also knew she was about to say something really _really_ rude to them...

"Thank you guys. Thank you Finn, especially. You know, with all the horrible crap I've been through in my life, now I get to add that." She said with a smirk and a sarcastic clap. Blaine looked like he was holding back a pep talk that would most likely sound like it should have came out of Finn's mouth, but he kept his mouth shut. Kurt just looked crushed, and probably because he knows what it feels like to be in her position, and she was turning down the help he practically begged for.

"Santana..." Mr. Schue started to say, but she stood up and left, leaving the rest of us shocked.

"Well..." Shelby started to say, but didn't really have anything to add, so instead we all sat there in awkward silence until the bell rang. It gave me a chance to think though, and I came up with the best idea ever. Well, looking back on it now it was probably one of my stupidest idea's. But at the time it seemed like the best idea ever, or at least a better one than kidnapping Beth...or calling Shelby a whore.

__Ways To Get My Baby Back

1.) Plant evidence showing Shelby is an unfit mother

2.) Call CPS on Shelby

3.) Kidnap Beth and move to another state (Last Resort)

4.) Join the Troubletones

5.) Make Shelby's life miserable, so she can't handle dealing with a child

6.) Be extra nice to Shelby so she lets me spend more time with Beth

7.) Go to Shelby's house, and talk/fight/reason/negotiate

8.) Get pregnant again, and this time keep my baby. **

I put an asterisk by number 8, since it was the only one that seemed like it would actually work on that list. I just had to figure out how...Puck and I made a perfect baby before, maybe we could do it again? After all, he was a _sex shark_ as he likes to call himself, and it wouldn't be hard to get him to sleep with me...I'm hot right?

!  
>!<p>

"_Please baby can't you see My mind's a burnin' hell I got razors a rippin' and tearin' and strippin' My heart apart as well Tonight you told me That you ache for something new And some other woman is lookin' like something That might be good for you Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone Go on believe her when she tells you Nothing's wrong But I'm the only one Who'll walk across the fire for you I'm the only one Who'll drown in my desire for you It's only fear that makes you runT he demons that you're hiding from When all your promises are gone I'm the only on Please baby can't you see I'm trying to explain I've been here before and I'm locking the door And I'm not going back again Her eyes and arms and skin won't makeIt go away You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow That holds you down today. Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone Go on believe her when she tells you Nothing's wrong But I'm the only one Who'll walk across the fire for you I'm the only one Who'll drown in my desire for you It's only fear that makes you run The demons that you're hiding from When all your promises are gone I'm the only one!" _Puck sang. It melted my heart, not trying to sound pathetic, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was staring at Shelby the whole time.

"That was for you...Santana." He smiled his cheesy smile. "I know it's just part of a phase, but uh, whatever, happy to oblige, always." He said, but I knew something was up. Why did he sing most of that song to Shelby? Everyone started to clap again, probably sensing the awkward moment, and trying to fill it with something. He looked back at Shelby as he took his seat.

"Great job Puck! That was amazing, and you stayed with the assignment, just wonderful." Mr. Schue congratulated him.

"Anything to help out the team." He said, but I still noticed something in his voice..something different. Something I didn't like.

"Finn, great job coming up with this idea, I've heard some excellent songs, and I can't wait to hear more!" Mr. Schue added.

We all filed out of the classroom as the bell rang. I followed Puck to his locker, to ask him about what happened in there. Why he sang the whole song to Shelby...and maybe try out the offer for my next idea.

"You kicked ass on that song." I told him, while he was on his knee, stuffing his backpack.

"Thank you..." He sounded confused.

"I do think you need to get your eyes checked though." I said, a little more serious and a little bit softer.

"Say what?" He asked, now sounding even more confused.

"You sang almost the whole song to Shelby. You hardly even noticed me." I explained to him, but I couldn't keep the annoying edge off my voice.

"Yeah, that was so that she would think of me- think of us, as the only ones that could take care of Beth and stuff. That song was mainly about babysitting, for me." He tried to tell me.

"Look," I started, shutting his locker, "my mom is going on a christian wine tasting boat down the Ohio River on Friday." I told him, trying to see if he'd catch on. He seemed into it at first, as he stood up, and said,

"The Jesus Booze Cruise."

"So, I'm gonna have the house to myself. Wanna come over, order in, rent a movie and not watch it? Remember when we were in the hospital after Beth was born, you told me you loved me. We can get that back." I explained more. I didn't like the look on his face, but I waited it out, I still had one last thing to try before I gave up completely.

"Sorry, not interested." He said. Now it was Angry Quinn...

"Let me be more clear." I said, forcefully, and taking him by the shirt pulling him closer to me.

"If you come over on Friday, you get to have sex with me." I told him. I expected him to melt like butter, but instead, he said,

"Look, I was into you pretty hard a couple years ago because you were hot like a pixie, and I thought you were pretty much cooler than every other girl in the school, but, turns out, you're kinda nuts. You're higher maintenance then Berry, and pretty much the most selfish person I've ever met in my life. So, thanks for the offer, but, I'd rather raw dog a bee hive." And with that, he turned around and left. Left me standing in the hallway, crying, rejected for the first time...ever That was harsh...he didn't even do it nicely. But I didn't let down hope. Friday hadn't come yet, he still had 3 days to change his mind. I had to stay positive, even though I knew every word he said was true. I wasn't always like that though. I used to be super pretty, I was a really low maintenance girlfriend, I put everyone before me...I wasn't always so crazy. Not until Puck knocked me up and hung me out to dry. That's was really made me lose it...

!

!

Walking down the hallway, I noticed something must have happened between Finn and Santana. She looked depressed, and Finn looked angry as he walked away. I didn't feel like stopping to ask about it, I was too busy with my own problems this time. Hadn't I helped her enough? Someone else can try now. Last time, I got my hair ripped out, screamed at in a language I don't speak, and almost crashed my car. She could figure it out herself now. I mean, they never gave a pregnant lady day when I was pregnant.. then again, being pregnant and being gay are two very different things. And what Santana was dealing with was a lot harder than what I was dealing with. I needed to remember that. I guess I wasn't as selfish as Puck thought, even I knew it was just getting worse.

By the time Glee Club hit Thursday, I felt like ditching and going home. Puck hadn't even talked to me since the locker thing the day before. But instead, I pushed through it and walked into another day all about Santana. She needed this though. Finn kept to his Lady Music theme, starting to sing one of the most famous Lady Music songs ever.

_ "I came home in the middle of the night My father says, "What you gonna do with your life?" Well, Daddy dear, you're still number one Oh girls, they wanna have fun Oh girls, they...The phone rings in the middle of the night My mother says, "When you gonna live your life right?" Well, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones Oh girls, they wanna have fun Oh girls, they... That's all they really want... Those girls, they wanna have fun Some boys take a beautiful girl Oh, and they hide her away from the rest of the world Well, not me, I wanna be the one in the sun Girls, they wanna have fun Oh girls, they... That's all they really want... Those girls, they wanna have fun..."_

By the end of the song, I knew something must have happened between them, because Santana was crying and Finn was looking at her a lot differently. She grabbed his arm as he went to get up and leave, not expecting anything from her, and pulled him in for a hug. Seeing Santana give someone other than Brittany a hug, that made most of practically drop our mouths into O's. Finn must of said something big to her, because there was no way Santana would just decide to do something nice. No one expected her too.

"Thank you." She told him, smiling her real Santana Lopez smile. The smile I used to see all the time before high school started. He nodded, probably feeling accomplished. He had a reason too. Anyone that could make Santana smile for real...that's hard work. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sugar reach over and hug Mercedes. Mercedes' eyes got huge, and I bit back a laugh.

"Great Job Finn." Mr. Schue said after they finished hugging, not wanting to break the moment.

!

!

_Who to vote for, who to vote for? Shit Quinn! Decide who to vote for! Just pick, it's not that big of a deal...then why is this so hard!_ I yelled at myself, walking to the gym for elections. I mean, Kurt would definitely be the best president, but Rick was the underdog in this, which was kind of what people go for right? But I was friends with Brittany, and I like what she was saying about the girl power thing...I could have really used some of that 2 years ago...But Brittany as president seemed scary. My dad would've voted for Rick...But I hate my dad...I'd vote for Kurt. No, that wouldn't work..._Damn this is hard! Who should I vote for? _I continued yelling at myself until I made it into the gym. Jewfro was walking around video taping people, Santana was trying to keep Brittany in the gym, and Finn was obviously trying to cheer up Kurt. Rachel was talking even faster than normal, pointing at me for some unknown reason as I made my way into the voting booth...I wonder why they were talking about me?

I put the ballot on the desk, and decided to think this through. I mean, _I like what Kurt stands for, and Brittany's insane, but just like my dad always put in for the candidate that was least ethnic, I'm voting for the one who's most girl._ Although part of me wondered if Kurt could beat out Britt for the most girl thing. But I decided that was mean, so just checked off Brittany S. Pierce and shoved my ballot in the ballot box before I changed my mind or started over thinking this again. Okay, it's done. But the idea of Britt as president scared me. Maybe I should've voted for Kurt? I smacked the ballot box when I realized that I couldn't get my ballot back out. _Calm down Quinn..._I had to tell myself_. Don't over think things this simple! _I made my way out of the voting booth and over to Britt.

"Good Luck." I told her. She smiled at me, but Santana just looked away. I walked around, looking for _friends _before I remembered I didn't really have any. Or at least any that liked me anyways. Senior year absolutely sucked.

!

!

"_Sue Sylvester wants to represent Ohio. She says she shares our values. If that's true, boy do we have some questions. So into family values, why do you promote a lesbian student to be your head cheerleader? And when did you plan on telling Ohio families? Another Question, why don't you have a husband Sue? Is there something your not telling us? Sue Sylvester, so many questions. _

I just stared at my TV for at least 10 minutes before I could say anything. Puck was right, I am selfish. I was thinking this was no big deal and Santana was over reacting...if this happened to me I'd be way worse than where she was. I don't know how she was going to deal with this, if she could barely handle it herself. That commercial was bad...and now everyone in Ohio would see it. Santana was a bitch, but no one deserved that. I finally understood why she slapped him. If it were me, I wouldn't done the same thing. This would be hard on anyone, but this would completely ruin Santana. No wonder Finn was so worried. If I would've known how bad this was, I would've been a lot more worried too. But at the time, I was kind of wrapped up in my own thing, calling Shelby a whore and all that...times were bad for everyone last week I guess. But that commercial was brutal, and I prayed Sue would divert her tactics from destroying Glee Club, to destroying Salazar. He deserved it, his niece too.

!

!

"Did you see the commercial?" I heard Kurt said to Rachel.

"Of course I did! It was awful..." Rachel told him. Finn stood by himself, staring at his shoes. I didn't blame him. It was his fault, and the guilt was probably driving him crazy. We all waited to see if Santana was even going to show up today. I probably wouldn't...she had to face everyone sooner or later though. But Santana liked to run from her problems, and it wouldn't surprise me if she made her way back to a bar.

"You know, I used to think Santana really deserved something bad...but after seeing that commercial, I don't know anymore. That was big." Blaine said, probably imagining what it would of been like if he was forced to come out like Santana was.

"She deserved something alright, but not that." Mercedes added, walking up to us. Finn still hadn't said anything. It felt weird, waiting not far from Santana's locker to see if she was going to show up or not. I thought for sure she'd miss, especially after Brittany found her way over to us and didn't know if Santana was coming or not. The boys left, deciding that she wasn't coming, but us glee girls waited. Just as we were about to give up too, we saw her walking down the hallway. Eyes turned, almost everyone staring at her, which was probably pure torture for Santana. The wall she spent years and years building up, crashed down in one day. People watched her, and I could tell she was struggling to keep her head up. We all just watched, shocked, as she made her way through the crowded hallway and to her locker, without trying to kill anyone. She was probably too afraid to make eye contact with anyone for that though.

"Saw the commercial." I heard some freak rugby player start to say. "Smokin'!" He said to her. I tapped Mercedes' shoulder and pointed, not sure what to do. Mercedes pointed it out to Rachel, who was the best decision maker out of all of us.

"Who the hell are you?" Santana snapped at him.

"Josh Coleman, sophomore rugby captain. Girls like you are a challenge. You just need the right guy to straighten you out, and I'm just the man to do it." He said, obviously a 10th grader that can't get a girl, so decided to hit on a lesbian senior to see if he could get any.

"Move your busted creeper ass." Mercedes jumped in and said to him, as we walked over there. Rachel's master plan was to see what it would take to make him leave her alone.

"Now." Tina added, when he didn't move.

"Easy girls, I'm just trying to make her normal..." He said.

"She is normal." Britt tried to defend her.

"It's not a choice idiot, but even if it were, you'd be our last choice." I spoke up. The whole "normal" things sets me off. What is _normal_ exactly?

"Oh I get it, you're all a bunch of lesbos." He tried to tear us down, but it just made me want to laugh. Sometimes, I just want to take freshmen and shove them in a trashcan. But then a remember sophomores are twice as dumb and half as cute, and want to hit them in the head with the trashcan instead.

"So what if we are, you don't stand a chance either way. Bye bye!" Rachel said, finally speaking up since this was her idea anyways. Santana looked at us all, not sure what to say. She opened her mouth, and shut it again.

"You're welcome." I said, knowing she'd never get the words out. I could tell she was fighting back a smile.

"What song do you guys want to sing?" Rachel asked. I rolled my eyes. Of course, we get a 5 minute break and we already have to hear her boss us around again. This time, Brittany picked our song surprisingly, since Santana refused to talk and no one else really knew what would relate to her. But Britt did an alright job, and Santana okay-ed singing it. Hopefully everyone else likes it too...

!

!

"Okay ladies, show us what you got." Mr. Schue said, indicating that we take the floor and start our song. Santana didn't even hesitate as she started singing, Rachel singing along side her, with the rest of us girls.

"_This was never the way I planne_d, _Not my intention..I got so brave, drink in hand, Lost my discretion..It's not what, I'm used to Just wanna try you on. I'm curious for you, Caught my attention! I kissed a girl and I liked it, The taste of her cherry chapstick! I kissed a girl just to try it..I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. It felt so wrong, It felt so right...Don't mean I'm in love tonight! I kissed a girl and I liked it.. I liked it! No, I don't even know your name It doesn't matter, You're my experimental game Just human nature, It's not what, Good girls do Not how they should behave My head gets so confused Hard to obey I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it, Us girls we are so magical Soft skin, red lips, so kissable Hard to resist so touchable Too good to deny it Ain't no big deal, it's innocent I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it!_

Seeing Santana sing something that...obvious...with such a big smile on her face, a real smile, it made the rest of us smile too. Well, I'm sure that's not what the boys were smiling about, but that's what us girls were smiling about, or at least part of the reason we were all smiling. The other reason was that it was actually really fun.

"Come here!" I said to Santana, pulling her in for a hug. Instead of looking at me like I still had pink hair and was dating a 40 year old skater, she hugged me.

"Okay, update y'all!" She said, facing the class. They all looked at her.

"Um, okay, I told my parents last night, and they were actually okay with it." She smiled, like she was genuinely happy that she could be so open now. Everyone clapped and cheered, really happy at how far she'd come.

"I just have to tell my abuela before she see's that stupid , luckily she only watches uni-vision." Santana told us. The moment I realized that Finn knew what "abuela" meant, and I was still debating over whether it meant "aunt" "cousin" or "grandma" was my wake-up call to start paying attention in Spanish class. Maybe then I would understand half the stuff Santana says to me when she's mad. So far all I've managed to learn is that "lagarto bebé" means "lizard baby". But that's not going to get me and A on the Spanish final...

"Schue." Figgins said, interrupting my trail of thought...about the pronunciation of "lizard baby" in , I needed a life.

"Excuse me New directions and girl singing group, but Mr. Kurt Hummel, I need to see you in my office immediately." He sounded like this was urgent...didn't they usually announce the winner of the elections? Why was he bringing Kurt to his office. I tried to stay interested, but my curiosity had got me into such big things this past week, I was just done getting in other peoples business.

!

!

"Who can tell me the quadratic equation?" My math teacher, who's name always slipped my mind. I would bet anything her name was from some foreign country, and I was not good with other languages. It took me 2 years to figure out why Santana kept saying "lagarto bebé" every time I mentioned Beth...It was just too much work to figure out this teachers name. I was utterly shocked when Puck raised his hand. I was even more surprised when he gave the right answer.

"Noah, I told you, you don't have to ask permission to go to the bathroom!" She said when Puck raised his hand.

"It's x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac, all over 2a." He smirked, looking satisfied. That was probably the first time in his life he answered a math question right.

"That's right?" The teacher looked confused. "Who told you?" She asked, obviously implying that he didn't get the answer himself.

"I did. I've been reading books for my pool cleaning business. Gotta have my math skills yo! I'm like that beautiful mind guy, without all the crazy." He said, as his phone started ringing. The teacher looked completely flustered at his sudden brilliance.

"Go for Puckerman." He said, answering his phone. He jumped out of his seat, rushing to the door.

"Class isn't over!" she said to him.

"Sorry, family emergency." He said, already out of the classroom. I knew right then that he was talking about Beth. I jumped up and followed him, knowing he wouldn't let me go with him, but I at least needed to know what happened.

"Puck!" I yelled, halfway down the hall.

"Okay, before you start yelling at me, just tell me what happened? I know that

'family emergency' was about Beth, and I just want to know what happened. I'm not asking to come, I just want to know what happened." I really hoped he'd tell me. After several seconds of hesitating, he finally responded,

"She fell and hit her head. Shelby's in the hospital with her right now. She's gonna be okay." He turned around and left, leaving me in the hallway, fully knowing I wouldn't be able to see her. Shelby was an unfit mother! She let _my _baby get hurt! She should be watching her better than that! I never would have let Beth out of my site. Now she's in the hospital with _my _little girl, and I can't go see if she's even okay. I had to put my trust into Puck, because there was no way I would trust Shelby with my kid. If I had a choice, I'd have Rachel raise my baby before Shelby Corcaron. I'd let Santana raise my baby before Shelby. But I didn't have a say anymore, and it killed me more and more each day. I should have just let Mr. Schue take Beth. He'd never let her end up in the emergency room! Shelby wasn't going to get away with this...not if I could find _some way_ to tear her down. I still loved Beth, _so _much, and it took every bit of will power I had to not go to the hospital with him to see if she was okay.

"Mr. Schue." I said, walking into the Spanish room, trying so hard to not break down.

"Quinn?" He seemed surprised that I came in his classroom. Usually the glee kids only came looking for him in the choir room.

"Are you okay?" I guess he could tell from my facial expression that I wasn't.

"Guys, work on conjugating your ER verbs. I'll be back in a second." He said to the class, leading me outside the classroom.

"Whats the matter?" He asked, but I just stared at the floor.

"Beth is in the hospital." I told him, waiting for his reply.

"Is she okay?" He sounded worried.

"I don't know. Shelby won't let me see her anymore...she called Puck and Puck told me what he knew, but Shelby won't let me see her anymore." My words just fell out of my mouth.

"Why won't Shelby let you see her anymore?" He asked.

"Well, I...I kind of said something...I, uh, called her a cash whore."

"What?"

"Yeah, but Mr. Schue, I know you all think that Shelby is an amazing person and all that, but just put yourself in my place. If you had a daughter, who you weren't even allowed to see, and she was living with someone who you absolutely hated, and in the hospital where you couldn't even go to see if she was okay, what would you do?"

"Isn't Puck there though?"

"Mr. Schue. It's Puck."

"Quinn, I know you don't trust Shelby, but she's not gonna let anything happen to Beth alright? She's a good mom."

"Mr. Schue.." I said, still fighting back my tears. I just wanted to know if she'd be alright.

"How about this, after class I'll call Shelby and find out everything and let you know what's going on?"

"Okay, thanks Mr. Schue!" I said, relieved that I'd at least get to know what was going on with _my _daughter.

"Quinn, you do realize that even though you care about Beth and you love her, she's Shelby's daughter, right?" He asked me.

"She's raising her, but Beth is my daughter." I said firmly, walking back to Math. By the time I got there, the bell had already rung, so I just went to my next class instead.

!

!

"Santana, just do it." Mercedes told her.

"You guys don't get it! My parents were alright with it, but my abuela is really religious..." She argued.

"Santana, I know how you feel okay? I was so scared to tell my parents when I was pregnant. They were super religious too. But the more I put it off, the worse it got. It will be better if she hears it from you. Just tell her before you wait too long. If she doesn't approve, then that's her loss." I tried to tell her, since I knew a little bit about what she was going through with the religious thing.

"Being pregnant and being a lesbian are extremely different Quinn..you had some control over it, I don't." She said, really looking terrified about this.

"Santana, you made it through telling the entire state practically. You can tell one more person." Rachel told her.

"I can't do it guys. Not yet." She looked ashamed.

"Please San? For me?" Britt asked, taking her hands.

"I just can't tell her yet Britt...I will, but not today." Santana's voice softened a little bit, like it always did when she talked to Brittany.

"Santana, just listen to me. I waited until the very end to tell my parents that there was a baby living in me. I lied that Puck was the father until Berry told Finn. Finn told my parents, and my dad hated me. Rachel told Finn, and he hated me. If you let her find out from someone else, she's gonna like it a whole lot less than if you just tell her. And you don't have a lot of time." I tried again to convince her.

"Yeah Santana. You can't just let someone else be the one to tell her. If she's that important to you, just tell her. If she really loves you, she won't care. Just try, we'll all be here for you no matter how it turns out." Rachel added.

"What's the worst that could happen? Nothing. Either she likes the idea or she doesn't. It won't change anything." Tina spoke up. Santana looked lost in thought, not saying anything.

"Please?" Britt tried again, pulling Santana a little closer to her. I could see her holding back a smile.

"Okay, fine, I'll tell her tonight. I'm supposed to go over there for dinner anyways." She told us. Well, now that I'd helped her even _more _with her problems, I had to go deal with mine. Friday had finally come and still no word from Puck...I guess he really would rather raw dog a bee hive than sleep with me.

!

!

I really did plan on spending the rest of the night watching sad romance movies by myself in the dark, yet half way through The Notebook, I heard my doorbell ring, and things changed when I saw Puck at the door.

"Puck?" I said, a little confused.

"Is it Beth, is she alright?" I added when he didn't say anything.

"She's fine. That's not why I'm here." He told me, looking angry about something. I waited for him to say what he was here for, not wanting to get my hopes up.

"I'm gonna take you up on your offer..." He explained, moving his eyes from my face, down my chest. I smirked, glad he finally realized what he was going to be missing if he didn't show. I let him up to my bedroom, but we were already making out before we made it to the bed.

"I didn't bring protection." He jumped up as I started tugging on his shirt. I backed off a little, annoyed at the interruption.

"It's okay, I don't care." I pulled myself up closer to him, trying to start where we left off. But he didn't seem into it.

"Under normal circumstances I'd take my chances, but...we have a pretty crappy track record." He said, smiling that cute little Puckerman smile.

"Maybe we'll get lucky again." I whispered, forgetting that I wasn't supposed to say anything to him about my plan to make another baby.

"You mean unlucky..." He said, still not kissing me.

"Look, trying to get Beth back was a stupid idea." I told him.

"You're just figuring this out now." He said to me, not like a question at all.

"We made one perfect baby, we can make another." I said to him, trying to get him interested in this again. "We have everything we need." I added when he still didn't say anything. But just as I went to kiss him, he jumped out of my bed.

"Is this why you invited me over?" He asked. _You're just figuring this out now? _I mimicked him in my head. I didn't say anything, afraid I'd ruin it even more.

"See, this is what happens when you have anger sex." He told me.

"Why are you angry at me?" I asked him, a little hurt.

"Fine you don't want this, there's 20 other guys at this school that would kill to give me what I want, they would kill to love me." I said, losing it for a second there, almost crying.

"I'm not angry at you." He said, his voice a little softer. "I let you down. We all did. We just spent a whole week helping Santana with a secret everyone already knows. Not one person took 10 seconds to help you. And you're a fricken mess. You have been for 3 years, ever since I knocked you up." He told me, gently. I tried to push back my tears, but I couldn't help my eyes from watering. He sat down next to me on the bed, looking at me differently than he was a few minutes before.

"You don't need a baby, or a dude, or anyone to make you special. If there's one person that I'm sure is gonna get the hell out of this town and make something of herself, it's you." He smiled at me, and I could tell he meant what he said.

"Maybe I was just getting all my crazy bad decisions out of the way early." I said, trying to clear up my tears.

"I see you somewhere warm, and glamorous like LA or Miami." He joked, we both laughed.

"Fine." I finally said. "But you have to do something for me." I told him, more serious now.

"You're staying here, you're gonna lie with me, and hold me." I told him, just wanting to feel his arms around me.

"Okay." He said, climbing next to me in the bed. "But no funny business." He said as he put his arm around me.

"Who were you angry at?" I asked, wondering why he said anger sex if it wasn't me he was angry at. "The whole...anger sex thing." I added.

"I have to tell you something. But you have to promise to keep it a secret." He said, getting up. I shouldn't have said anything, now he was letting me go.

"What?" I said, facing him.

"I was angry at Shelby." He told me. I turned my head to the right, a little confused.

"We...when I was with seeing Beth, we..we uh kissed. And I really thought I loved her. And then tonight, I was at her house...and we ...you know..." He said, looking at my bed. And then it clicked. I felt like everything was falling apart.

"Why her?" I asked, not bothering to stop from crying.

"I don't know...but she kicked me out. So I came here."

"So I was your last choice."

"It's not like that."

"I think you should leave." I said through my tears.

"Quinn..."

"Go." I said. Pointing at my door. He sighed. Just as he made his way out of my room. he turned around and said,

"I meant what I said you know." And then turned around and walked down the stairs. I cried into my pillow for hours. This certainly made me hate Shelby even more.

!

!

"He won! He won!" Kurt screamed, running over to me and Mercedes in the hall.

"I know, we saw the papers." Mercedes laughed, happy for him. Kurt's dad had won the elections. And even better, Sue lost.

"Congratulations." I told him, not really in the best mood after what Puck told me Friday

"I told her." Santana said, walking over to us, hand in hand with Brittany.

"What'd she say?" I asked.

"She said I was selfish for making her uncomfortable, and that she wanted to me leave and to never see me again." Santana said, without looking up from her shoes.

"I'm sooo sorry." I told her.

"Me too." Mercedes said. Britt just looked around at all the kids in the hallway.

"It's okay guys, really. It hurt at first, a lot. But I realized that she must not have loved me as much as she said she did if that's all it took for her to kick me out. I still miss spending time with her and all, but I'll get over it. It's not a big deal." She said, surprising me at how fast she got over that. But part of me wondered if it was just the old Santana ways building a wall, and lying to everyone so that no one saw her hurting. We all walked to Glee Club together, but I was ready to start blowing fire out of my nose when I saw who was standing next to Mr. Schue. Shelby Corcaron.

"Okay guys, Shelby and I just wanted to say that you really inspired us." Mr. Schue started once everyone was in their seat.

"So when we face off at sectionals, it will be with more empathy and with a deeper understanding of each other." Shelby added.

"That's right." Mr. Schue said, starting to clap. The rest of the class, except for me, joined in. I couldn't clap for _her._ I could barely look at her. I noticed Artie and Finn whispering about something, but I didn't understand what he said. Kurt raised his hand.

"Mr. Schue?" Mr. Schue called on him, letting Kurt come to the front of the class.

"As the son of Ohio's recently elected congressman, and to dispel any lingering clouds of suspicion, I would like to personally, and publicly, congratulate president Brittany." Kurt said, like it was hard for each word to get out.

"The people have spoken, and they want you Britt. They want pixie sticks." Kurt said through everyone's cheering. "Rule wisely. Rule fabulously." He told her. She stepped forward and hugged him, saying,

"You're still the most unicorn one of them all." Everyone clapped. I couldn't keep my eyes off Shelby. I was staring at her so hard, hoping maybe I'd burn holes in her skin. I hated her, more than anything.

"Quinn, you okay?" Tina asked me. I took my eyes off Shelby, but I couldn't say anything to Tina. I was definitely not okay. I wanted Shelby gone. Out of this school, out of this town, out of my life.

"Santana, bring us home." Mr. Schue said. I wondered what she would sing, but I mostly wondered if I could pay Santana to go all Lima Heights on Shelby half way through her song...probably not...

"So I picked a song that gives me strength, and gets me through. The same way all of you do. The struggle continues, but at least I know I'm not alone." She looked at Finn and smiled, silently thanking him. The music started, and she sang the song. I never really noticed much before, but her voice really was amazing. She was just as good as Berry, and half as annoying. I tried to focus on Santana's singing, but I still couldn't help glaring at Shelby the entire song.

_"Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant (Constant) Craving (Craving) Has always (Always) Been Maybe a great magnet pulls All souls to what's true Or maybe it is life itself Leads wisdom to its youth Constant (Constant) Craving (Craving) Has always (Always) Been Craving Ah...constant craving Has always been Has always been Constant (Constant) Craving (Craving) Has always (Always) Been Constant (Constant) Craving (Craving) Has always (Always) Been Craving Ah...constant craving Has always been Has always been Has always been Has always been Has always been Has always been Has always been..." _

Everyone cheered for her, as Brittany got up and hugged her. I didn't even notice that Rachel wasn't there until she walked in, looking like she just saw a ghost.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schue said.

"I just told Principle Figgins that I rigged the elections so that Kurt would win. Kurt, please, don't hate me you're totally in the clear." She told us.

"What did he say?" Finn sounded worried.

"He said he had no choice but to put it on my permanent record and that I'm suspended for a week. Also, he said that I was form competing at sectionals." Rachel started again with the water works. Okay, so if we thought we were going to lose before, New Directions didn't stand a chance now. Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana were the best singers, and now we didn't have any of them. Troubletones were definitely going to win. Also, I hate Shelby Corcaron. Did I mention that?_  
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_**A/N-**_**Thanks for reading ! Please don't forget to review ! Let me know what you think ! Okay so the songs were:**

**-Blaine and Kurt: F*ckin' Perfect- P!nk **

**-Puck: I'm the Only One- Melissa Etheridge **

**-Glee Guys: Girls Just Want To Have Fun- Greg Laswell **

**-Glee Girls: I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry**

**-Santana: Constant Craving- K.D. Lang**

**Thanks for reading please review!**_  
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